A list of puns related to "Doug"
Now they’re both Doug-less
Doug
You will only get this if you watched " Doug"on Nickelodeon
"Welcome everyone to Dads Anonymous. Again my name is Bill and you will notice that we have a new member, please welcome Gary -- Can you tell us what brought you to us today?"
"Well I have a very embarrassing confession. It's even hard to get the words out."
Bill reassures him, "We are all dads here and have been meeting for decades, we've been through all the highs and lows, births and deaths, tragedies, we've heard it all. Just tell us what's on your mind son, we are here to support each other."
"Well, a couple months ago, I broke both my legs in a motorcycle accident and couldn't walk, so I let my wife use the lawnmower." He says through the sobs...
Bob, one of the other dads, starts to get pale. "...and she didn't even cut it in a crisp geometric pattern, it was just random..." Bob starts to sweat and get dry heaves. "YOU BASTARD", he screams. "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN." The dads rise and get ready to beat the crap out of Gary, when Bill stands between them and breaks it up.
"Guys! Guys, we all get weak sometimes and things happen outside our control. Doug, you remember when you were in recovering from Chemo and you gave your wife a hammer, and she used it to hammer a roofing nail into the drywall to hang a picture!" Doug, looks down in shame, "Yes, that was a bad day, I was so weak. She missed the stud and left a dent in the wall, and she just hung the picture over it, crooked!" There was dead silence. "Thats ok Doug, it was twenty years ago, you were young and foolish, you can let it go". Then all the dads shook hands and sat back down.
Bill starts the meeting up again. Then Gary says, "..theres one more thing, Right after I got out of the hospital, she wanted to make a special dinner for us, so I let her grill the steaks..." "OH LORD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" screams Dave, another dad, his face turning red. Gary continues "...she burnt them one one side and they were dry and chewy." Now there is a bedlam, one dad immediately passes out cold, chairs are thrown, broken bottles, Gary is on the ground being kicked in the ribs. After a few tense minutes Bill managed to get the dads off of Gary. "Stop it, Dave you're killing him. Come on, you remember that time you let your wife go to the repair shop for an oil change?" Dave hung his head, and muttered yeah. "They convinced her to change the cabin filter, wiper blades and the radiator collant..." Bill kept prodding "and, aaand" ...Dave broke down, "and she bought a jug of blinker fluid!" T
... keep reading on reddit ➡https://i.imgur.com/iXGjF6w.jpg
I guess it is a bit sticky.
Me: Aww, that dog has three legs! BF: Well, most dogs have three legs. The only dogs that don't have three legs are dogs with two, one or zero legs.
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pond? A: Bob
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs under a car? A: Jack
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in your mailbox? A: Bill
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on a wall? A: Art
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pot? A: Stu
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a grill? A: Frank
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves? A: Rustle
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pot hole? A: Phil
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs at the bottom of a hole? A: Doug
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs at the bottom of a not as deep hole? A: Douglas
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs at your front door? A: Matt
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the floor at a barbershop? A: Harry
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs that works at a brewery? A: Bud
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs water-skiing? A: Skip
So my dad, sister and I all went to go and visit my grandmother (she got moved to hospice this week) at the hospital, and on the entry way it showed a Hall of Deans for the Sanford Medical School/Hospital. Like four busts all in a row. My Dad, whose name is Doug goes, "God, all four of them were named Dean? Where's the Hall of Dougs? Sign me up!"
He had tears coming out of his eyes. I love my family.
My dad and his fellow dad friends will just put a string of dad jokes on every status they each post. It's like they have a secret agreement to support each other by commenting these things.
http://imgur.com/gallery/eRIokiz
(My dad is the Doug guy)
Doug
What do you call a man without a shovel?
Douglas
Doug.
What do you call a man without a shovel?
Douglass.
Doug
What do you call a man without a shovel?
Douglas
Well, well, well.
Doug
Doug.
Doug.
Doug
Doug.
Doug
Doug
Doug
Phil or was it Doug?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.