My waitress just asked “ Do you wanna box for your food?”

I told her “No I would rather wrestle for it”.

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👤︎ u/MiggyLT
📅︎ Aug 24 2020
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“Special Mowing Unit”
👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/Jennim5588
📅︎ Jun 29 2018
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How does Thor's mom call him for supper?

O Din Son!

👍︎ 16
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👤︎ u/slacker604
📅︎ Aug 29 2020
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I switched the I and O keys on my brother's laptop to confuse him and mess his typing up.

I know, I know, I'm a horrible person, but my brother would say I'm a hirroble persin.

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📅︎ Mar 11 2020
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This one maybe needs a little time
👍︎ 22
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👤︎ u/FlunkyBall
📅︎ Feb 10 2019
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I'll be there...

So this happened a couple of years ago. I worked in a room of about 40 engineers. Someone on a different team always had his phone on loud, and his ringtone set as the Friends theme (which soon became pretty annoying)

Anyway, one afternoon, the offender had gone for a cigarette but left his phone behind. Phone rings, and no-one dares answer his phone for him, so we all ignore it and eventually they ring off.

Moments later, same thing happens, I think it gets through the intro and into the first verse before they ring off.

Silence. We breathe a sigh of relief. They've given up.

...

*Ding digading ding dinga din...

Someone in the office yells "HE IS ON A BREAK"

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Sep 27 2016
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A confectionary treasure.

Christmas was at Mom's house this year. She has to buy at least 10 lbs of sugar to make all the treats and candy that everyone wants. She has all of the candy and pies and things on the counter in the dinning room. As family members arrived and everyone made their way passed the dinning room my niece(14) came in.

Her: You've been standing in here for a while.

Me: Yup, it's the sweetest spot in the house.

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👤︎ u/123_Syzygy
📅︎ Jan 05 2016
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My dad's favorite thing to do while watching football.

Watching the Chargers-Bengals game, one of the Bengals defensive linemen is named Gilberry.

My dad says, "If his first name was Din, he would be Din Gilberry." Followed by a solid 30 seconds of laughter.

He will make puns based on players names at least once every game.

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👤︎ u/Thuperboy
📅︎ Jan 05 2014
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