Demetri Martin Puns

"Hi. My name is Robert if you need anything."
"Great. What's your name if we don't need anything?"

Robert: "Would you like more soda, sir?"
Dad: "Yes. Please."
Robert takes the glass and walks away to refill it.
Dad: "That's less soda, not more!"

Me: "Let's get more [tortilla] chips."
Dad smashes the last chip into hundreds of pieces. "There. More chips."

Edit: When the lights in the restaurant are dimmed.
Dad: Uh oh! Prices just went up!
(Who ordered the ambiance?)

"Well, at least the directions will be easy."

"?"

"Practice, practice, practice. Then left."

I though that was a fair trade.

(Borrowed from Demetri Martin)