We also went to restaurants

"Hi. My name is Robert if you need anything."
"Great. What's your name if we don't need anything?"

Robert: "Would you like more soda, sir?"
Dad: "Yes. Please."
Robert takes the glass and walks away to refill it.
Dad: "That's less soda, not more!"

Me: "Let's get more [tortilla] chips."
Dad smashes the last chip into hundreds of pieces. "There. More chips."

Edit: When the lights in the restaurant are dimmed.
Dad: Uh oh! Prices just went up!
(Who ordered the ambiance?)

👍︎ 1k
💬︎
👤︎ u/damitws6
📅︎ Aug 21 2013
🚨︎ report
Wife just booked us a hotel room across the street from Carnegie Hall.

"Well, at least the directions will be easy."

"?"

"Practice, practice, practice. Then left."

👍︎ 14
💬︎
👤︎ u/omega697
📅︎ Apr 02 2015
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign the other day that said " Watch for Children"

I though that was a fair trade.

(Borrowed from Demetri Martin)

👍︎ 50
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 10 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.