My doctor told me I'm going deaf.

The news was hard for me to hear.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
When I told my mate I was going deaf, he asked, β€œwhat are the symptoms?”

I said, β€œthey’re a yellow cartoon family with Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie”

πŸ‘︎ 214
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheifsup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I said to my kids, "Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do! Take Beethoven for example. They told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf!"

"But he didn't listen!"

πŸ‘︎ 230
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My deaf girlfriend just told me that β€œwe need to talk”.

That isn’t a good sign.

πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a deaf gynecologist do?

He reads lips.

πŸ‘︎ 486
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVengefulKitten
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a deaf man and a gynecologist have in common?

They both read lips.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Forsaken1372
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Having sex with a deaf person is like assassinating someone

They won't hear you cumming

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qarasaq
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Deaf electrician.

Watt?

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrVegano
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The deaf girl didn’t show up to her court case yesterday

She lost her hearing.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeSayAye
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
2 years ago my doctor told me I’d go deaf

I haven’t heard from him since.

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a serial killer who's deaf and blind?

Helen Killer

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sandee13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
i am deaf on both ears after working at the metal factory

I guess heavy metal is not good for my ears

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a deaf triangle with an unknown angle

So I Sined to it

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/owenthetechie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night.

Damn near poked my eye out.

πŸ‘︎ 201
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youthfulcomrade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Recently went camping with my deaf cousin.

It was quiet in tents.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatRawDough
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a deaf man with a robotic arm

Signborg

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmarGobara
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Me to my deaf friend: why risk going to a rock concert with the pandemic raging and all?

My deaf friend: heard immunity

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the deaf guy?

Neither did he

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MadFox617
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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What does a deaf mathematician do to communicate?

He uses sine language.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Sam, don't sing, we're going deaf
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LamborghiniBottle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Im near sighted and tone deaf

I can’t C sharp, but I am the dad of A minor, That boy is nothing but treble.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeffer90
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the blind carpenter?

He picked up the hammer and saw.

(my dad told this all the time. I am continuing on with the tradition...)

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimplisticAnswer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
"Doctor, I think I might be deaf."

"So what are the symptoms?"

"A yellow family from Springfield."

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWiserKaiser
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I was kidnapped by mimes once

They did unspeakable things to me

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IS3OO
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Deaf librarian

I think my librarian is deaf. I asked where the Harry Potter books were, and she told me. But all I see here is books about Bigfoot playing golf.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do deaf people and gynaecologists have in common?

Lip reading

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gagging4aShagging
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get a deaf person to shut up

Tie their hands behind their back

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor told me I was going deaf.

The news was hard for me to hear.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sowewenthome
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
My deaf girlfriend just told me β€œWe need to talk.”

That is not a good sign.

πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
2 years ago my doctor told me I’d go deaf

I haven’t heard from him since.

πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/natrickshwazey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor told me I'm going deaf.

The news was hard for me to hear.

πŸ‘︎ 582
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FBI_Official_Acct
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a deaf gynecologist do?

He reads lips

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BootyBruiser49620
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a deaf person ?

You don't

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/its_boogeyman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a deaf gynaecologist do?

Read lips.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LemonScentedMist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My deaf girlfriend just told me, β€œWe need to talk.”

That is not a good sign.

πŸ‘︎ 257
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor told me I'm going deaf.

The news was hard for me to hear.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My deaf girlfriend just told me β€œI think we need to talk.”

That’s not a good sign.

πŸ‘︎ 18k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night.

Damn near poked my eye out.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingJiggaMan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a deaf gynaecologist do?

reads lips

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yellowlightsaber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a deaf gynecologist do?

He reads lips.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/death-to-turtles
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
3 years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf

I haven’t heard from him since

πŸ‘︎ 177
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealFletch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My deaf girlfriend just told me, β€œWe need to talk.”

That is not a good sign.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My deaf wife just told me that β€œwe need to talk.”

That was not a good sign.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report

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