Deadbeat Puns

ORIGINAL: Deadbeat brother crashed my Crown Victoria. Gets a night in jail he won't forget by u/Not-A-Cop-Throwaway

I 21m have an older brother Dave (Fake name) that has always been a jerk to me. There's only a one year gap between us. But he liked to beat me up when we were kids, and he always acted like anything that was mine was also his. He was also somewhat the golden child. Which made me miserable. So no surprise I moved out at 18. My uncle is a now retired police officer, and he took me in after I left home. He even hooked me up with a decommissioned Crown Vic. I absolutely love that car.

I don't know why. But Dave hated the fact I had that car. He drove three beater cars into the ground while my Crown Vic kept chugging along. Well after his third beater finally died when he drove it into a pole, he asked to borrow my car. I had a bad feeling and said I wasn't gonna do that. He called me entitled and said he needed a car to get to work. I told him to take the bus because I know how he drives and my Crown Vic was off limits. My parents called me after that and told me to just lend him my car. I said I won't no matter what they say. I rely on the car and need it as well since it's my personal transportation. Dave wasn't the only one in the world with a job he needed to get to. My uncle congratulated me for standing up to them and gave me a high-five.

A few days later when I got off work the car wasn't where I parked it. I called my brother's cell, but he didn't pick up. Then I called my parents and asked them if he took my car. They denied it. So I said I was gonna call the cops, and then they admitted he'd "Borrowed" it because he needed it. I told them he better bring it back right now or I'll have police looking for him. They called me a jerk and then phoned Dave to bring my car back. He showed back up in the parking lot in my car 20 minutes later. I demanded to know how he stole my car, and he held up a set of police Crown Vic keys he'd bought online. (Some were made universal) I told him if he ever stole my car again, I'd have him arrested. Then he had the audacity to ask for a ride home. I told him he made me wait in the December cold after stealing my car, so he could walk. He called me a jack&$$ before I drove away. After that my uncle installed a tracking device in the car.

When Christmas Day came I was celebrating with family

Watch him fall asleep while driving

Deciding to marry him when he's 30 & you're 20 (ew)

Letting him get you pregnant

While he's in and out of jail and rehab

Claiming to be sober

Whilst drinking on probation(???)

And just being cool with it the whole time

Seriously, I can't figure out what the hell MacKenzie Edwards was on....

I'm rewatching TM2 and can't believe how Randy talks a big talk and is such a pushover. My pops (6'3, buff) would hover over him and shout in his face until his loser ass cried.

How about you guys?

How awkward can we make this family reunion?

A few of mine.

-Adam letting his daughters play on two old, dumpster looking mattresses that were just leaning against a wall

-Stephan meeting up with Kayla/Izaiah and having no idea how to talk to him

-Jenelle yelling “pitter patter!” at young Jace

I don’t even care who this offends. I’m sick of always hearing stories of guys irresponsibly impregnating multiple women, then leaving them as single moms like they’re collecting trophies for who’s got the most baby mamas. What infuriates me even more are the stories of those deadbeats who want absolutely nothing to do with their own kid and want to be able to “start over” with a new family while the mom is left behind to raise the kid on her own, with no way of contacting the dad because he blocked her on everything and changed his number. What kind of demonic entity do you have to be to come to the conclusion that you want “absolutely nothing to do” with your own kid. Your flesh and blood. Pathetic.

And to be quite frank - If you're in a relationship with a guy, try to look out for signs that show that this guy would not make a good dad, before thinking of having a kid with him. ~ (NOT SAYING THAT ANY OF IT IS YOUR FAULT AND THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO INSTANCES OF RAPE, ARRANGED MARRIAGE, OR YOU WERE JUST LIED TO BY A MAN WHO SHOWED HIS TRUE COLORS LATER) ~ . But take a step back and look at the dude who you’re about to go to town with. Does he REALLY give you the impression that he could be a family-oriented man? (Not saying that clean-cut dudes with a suit and tie don’t switch up on you one day and leave their kids) but you can try to look out for obvious signs before even getting with him. I’ve seen way too many women become absolutely dumbfounded as to why her kid's dad left, only for me to find out that she literally got with a gangbanger who already had 3 other baby mamas and has cheated in the past, all of which she knew about. Why do some of ya'll think that it won't happen to you this time around if you know he has done that to other women?

EDIT: Definitely not generalizing all men here. There are plenty of amazing dads out there. AND I'M NOT PUTTING BLAME ON WOMEN.

Long post warning

TLDR: a 50+ year old man misread the website and yelled at me like it was my fault at 9:30 in the morning.

I work at Michael’s and honestly for the most part I really enjoy it. This morning though, a man came in and straight back to the custom framing counter (my dept.) and instead of pressing the “I need assistance” button, just yells “hello??? Is anybody back there?????” I was wrestling with a roughly 40x80 piece of foamcore at the time so I responded that I’d be with him in a minute. When I got out, he was looking at canvas and asked me if I knew where the canvas stretcher bars were. I told him that I didn’t think we sold them and asked for confirmation over the radio. The whole time he was muttering to himself that we “should” sell them because we are “an art store.” After confirming that we didn’t have them, I found out he thought we did because he saw them online. A quick search showed that they were an online only item, very clearly labeled as such. He got angry and threw a mini-fit about that before asking if we could do it custom. I said that we could but it would take about 2 weeks (we need to order the stretcher bar and shipping delays are hell at the moment.) This is when the real tantrum started. The man shouted “Of course! Only in this county with deadbeats like you working in deadbeat stores!” He cussed at me and started to walk towards the front. What makes matters worse is due to company issues, we had no music playing and he could be heard throughout the store. Apparently though at the front he walked straight into the entry-only door and was angry that it wouldn’t open for him.

Anyway how were your mornings?

I figured that I’d post an update since I’ve met with my daughter Inessa and her mother Sofia again. I went to the city that Inessa lives in for a business trip and she agreed to meet me. I went to Sofia’s home and took the time to talk to Sofia while Inessa was changing. I did what most of you (and my wife) recommend and apologized to Sofia. I told her I was hurt I couldn’t be there for her and Inessa but that she did an incredible job, better than I would have been able to do before I got my life on track and I admire how much stronger than me she is for doing it all despite all she faced. This brought tears to her again but thankfully she hugged me and forgave me.

She then apologized to me for not telling me when I was older but told me it was that at first she was afraid of my father and later on she didn’t want to disrupt my life. I told her it didn’t matter and all that matters is Inessa and her happiness.

When I went to dinner with Inessa, I gave her an old photograph of my mother as a gift and she thought it was some old timey photo of herself at first because they look so similar. I told her about my own terrible father and why it hurt me so much that I didn’t get to be there for her because I had this notion that it’s a father’s duty to always help his child, guide them, teach them and love them and they’re a failure if they weren’t. I told her I was sorry I made her mother cry but know now she was a better mother and father to her than I could have been at that time. She also forgave me and when she called me dad (she’d just been saying father before – which was still adorable cause of her mix of a Russian and Scottish accent) for the first time as she hugged me it was the best feeling in the world.

Although I’d booked a hotel for the night, Inessa insisted I stay with her and Sofia. We wound up staying up for hours watching old home movies of Inessa as a kid (which she converted into digital from tape somehow) and even though I couldn’t be there for any of that, I do feel better about it. Before I left, I promised Inessa that I’d always be there for her and if she ever needed anything, to just ask me and I’d take a flight to see her that day.

When I got home, my wife told me I did the right thing in apologizing to both of them and that I should see her for Christmas and that our kids would be fine without me for once. So, I thank you guys for recommending that I apologize. It feels like a weight has been lifted and I can be there for In

I had to report one of my closest friends to the cops after he beat his baby mama.

Worst part is that he isn't providing for her or the kid.

I'm not a perfect father myself but I don't think I can be friends with guys like that anymore.

I can't pretend that this shit isn't happening anymore.

Had a sibling recently go through a 5150. My dad was informed (he has no legal custody or any custody) rushed to the mental hospital to try to get sibling pulled out, claimed he had 50/50 custody. I called mom up to tell her to leave it clear to the staff that he had absolutely no custody, calls me to complain and thinks we’re hiding something. Swears by “God’s Law” that he’s a parent and has rights over medical and personal decisions. Later switched it to say that because he BARELY started paying child support that he has custody. Later switched it that the judge gave him a paper saying despite my mom having full custody, she has to alert him during medical emergencies (she has a restraining order against him) LATER switched it to say it wasn’t my mom’s fault, but it was her fault because her restraining order against him is what caused the drift in the first place. Claims my mom is making things worse for not removing the restraining order.

EDIT: had a few people message ask why he’s not involved.. my father was extremely abusive towards my mother and i to the point i attempted twice, but of course, it wasn’t his fault. my father forced my other sibling to do cocaine on multiple occasions (sibling was 14/15 at the time) and when this was revealed in court, all rights were taken away and he needed a supervisor to see them which he needed to pay and refused to do so. The only reason he even started fighting for custody was to avoid the child support payments. We hadn’t been in contact since January 2020 as he had accused me of fraud to my financial aid counselor claiming I stole his Identity to when I filled out my FAFSA, despite him signing the consent form. He did all of this because I refused to side with him in an argument. We had been no contact since then, claims the restraining order my mom got against him in December 2020 is what caused him to get away from us. My mom wanted him to get tested for certain things, he refused, said my mother needed to pay for it and even accused her of being on drugs to the point CPS came and did a random search on my siblings as well as her. Everyone was also drug tested and of course, results came back negative while he is refusing to this day.

Edit to address a few comments and messages that were pretty misogynistic. My sister isn’t watching her baby out of some sort of mom guilt, she’s fully aware that despite having a full time extremely busy career, she still watches their baby more than her husband who works 2 days/week. She’s not being controlling. She has asked him several times but he throws a huge dramatic fit (he stayed up with the baby once bc my sister was really sick due to mastitis) and then used his lack of sleep as an excuse to basically be a huge jerk to everyone and insisted the nanny come that day so that he could sleep instead of watching my nephew. This incident is actually why my sister stopped saying anything about her having to do all night duty. She said dealing with his behavior and attitude for the next several days wasn’t worth it. Apparently the bar for what makes someone a decent father must be set real low for people. If the roles were reversed and it was a man working 60 hour weeks with a wife who barely worked but expected him to do essentially everything at all moments he wasn’t physically working his full time job, I think the responses would have been different. I love my sister so much, it’s just the two of us and she’s significantly older than me (17 year gap), but I hate seeing some mediocre at best guy forcing her to get to the point where she’s going to either fall asleep while driving or get really sick from exhaustion.

My sister recently had a baby and is back at work. My BIL works part time and he also watches their baby a few days a week (they have a part time nanny for the other days). My sister gets no break. She works like 60 hours/week and whenever she’s not working she’s on baby duty at home. My BIL refuses to get up with their baby at night bc he says he “does his fair share” by watching their baby during the day. But I feel like that’s not fair bc my sister gets the baby every single night as soon as she walks through the door and every weekend whenever she’s not working. I try to help her when I can but I’m in college so I’m also busy. I told her to say something bc I could tell she was exhausted but she said she was fine. After I came over the other day and she was basically falling asleep at the table bc she said she hadn’t sleep more than a few hours in days, I told my BIL he was a deadbeat dad who thought he was so special bc he watched his kid like twice a week. He got really mad at me and kicked me out. My sister said nothing at the tim

This is a Repost

OP is: The-Bad-Dad

ORIGINAL

So, I (44 M) am fairly well off. I'm high up in the company where I work and money's no problem for my wife (33 F) and our two kids. When I was 17, I wasn't the type of person that you'd want to be a father. My own father was a terrifying presence. I almost flunked high school. My high school girlfriend Sofia left me after I got held by the cops one night and in a double whammy, she moved to Scotland with her dad for university in Edinburgh.

Sofia was pregnant and never told me. She never kept in touch I wasn't looking her up in Scotland. I feel like I had a right to know. Ironically, her leaving made me get my life together and I did very well in university. Sometime when we were 18, she gave birth to my daughter Inessa.

Well, Inessa knew who I was and so she decided to contact me, telling me I was her father.

Sofia and Inessa had moved back to the country (different city) and I flew out to meet her. I saw a picture of her after she contacted me, she looks just like my mother (so no need for a DNA test). I avoided seeing her mom and I spent all the time I could with her, getting to know her and learning all that I'd missed. Here's the kicker, I gave my kids the best life possible but she struggled her entire life. After Sofia's dad died, they had a bad time in Scotland and even briefly moved with her mom to Russia. They're doing good now, because my Inessa's got a great job in the same field I started out in.

It made me mad. I could've provided for her. She could've gone to the fancy schools that my kids go to. She could've gotten new shoes, clothes, games every birthday and Christmas. She didn't even have her father to teach her how to drive. I didn't even pay child support. It makes me upset I didn't do right by her.

When I met her mom again, it was tense. I laid out everything I wrote in a calm manner and my daughter made me leave as her mother was going to cry. I met Inessa the day after when I left and we've talked every night since but we haven't brought that up.

My wife told me I was an asshole to tell her mother that and demanded I apologize, but I couldn't help but feeling like I wasn't wrong. However, a few days ago, my wife told me she's pregnant and she talked to me about the situation in terms of what if

EDIT: To be clear, my dad is a sterotypical, get rich quick scheming, deadbeat dad and I do not at all believe any of his schemes especially this one. Sorry if that wasn't clear haha

I 21m have an older brother Dave (Fake name) that has always been a jerk to me. There's only a one year gap between us. But he liked to beat me up when we were kids, and he always acted like anything that was mine was also his. He was also somewhat the golden child. Which made me miserable. So no surprise I moved out at 18. My uncle is a now retired police officer, and he took me in after I left home. He even hooked me up with a decommissioned Crown Vic. I absolutely love that car.

I don't know why. But Dave hated the fact I had that car. He drove three beater cars into the ground while my Crown Vic kept chugging along. Well after his third beater finally died when he drove it into a pole, he asked to borrow my car. I had a bad feeling and said I wasn't gonna do that. He called me entitled and said he needed a car to get to work. I told him to take the bus because I know how he drives and my Crown Vic was off limits. My parents called me after that and told me to just lend him my car. I said I won't no matter what they say. I rely on the car and need it as well since it's my personal transportation. Dave wasn't the only one in the world with a job he needed to get to. My uncle congratulated me for standing up to them and gave me a high-five.

A few days later when I got off work the car wasn't where I parked it. I called my brother's cell, but he didn't pick up. Then I called my parents and asked them if he took my car. They denied it. So I said I was gonna call the cops, and then they admitted he'd "Borrowed" it because he needed it. I told them he better bring it back right now or I'll have police looking for him. They called me a jerk and then phoned Dave to bring my car back. He showed back up in the parking lot in my car 20 minutes later. I demanded to know how he stole my car, and he held up a set of police Crown Vic keys he'd bought online. (Some were made universal) I told him if he ever stole my car again, I'd have him arrested. Then he had the audacity to ask for a ride home. I told him he made me wait in the December cold after stealing my car, so he could walk. He called me a jack&$$ before I drove away. After that my uncle installed a tracking device in the car.

When Christmas Day came I was celebrating with family like every year. The roads were cold and icy. So I had to be very careful while driving. By now you're probably clued in on the title. Yeah, Dave "Borrowed" my car again during the Christmas party. Apparently he decided he was

I 21m have an older brother Dave (Fake name) that has always been a jerk to me. There's only a one year gap between us. But he liked to beat me up when we were kids, and he always acted like anything that was mine was also his. He was also somewhat the golden child. Which made me miserable. So no surprise I moved out at 18. My uncle is a now retired police officer, and he took me in after I left home. He even hooked me up with a decommissioned Crown Vic. I absolutely love that car.

I don't know why. But Dave hated the fact I have that car. He drove three beater cars into the ground while my Crown Vic kept chugging along. Well after his third beater finally died when he drove it into a pole, he asked to borrow my car. I had a bad feeling and said I wasn't gonna do that. He called me entitled and said he needed a car to get to work. I told him to take the bus because I know how he drives and my Crown Vic was off limits. My parents called me after that and told me to just lend him my car. I said I won't no matter what they say. I rely on the car and need it as well since it's my personal transportation. Dave wasn't the only one in the world with a job he needed to get to. My uncle congratulated me for standing up to them and gave me a high-five.

A few days later when I got off work the car wasn't where I parked it. I called my brother's cell, but he didn't pick up. Then I called my parents and asked them if he took my car. They denied it. So I said I was gonna call the cops, and then they admitted he'd "Borrowed" it because he needed it. I told them he better bring it back right now or I'll have police looking for him. They called me a jerk and then phoned Dave to bring my car back. He showed back up in the parking lot in my car 20 minutes later. I demanded to know how he stole my car, and he held up a set of police Crown Vic keys he'd bought online. (Some were made universal) I told him if he ever stole my car again, I'd have him arrested. Then he had the audacity to ask for a ride home. I told him he made me wait in the December cold after stealing my car, so he could walk. He called me a jack&$$ before I drove away. After that my uncle installed a tracking device in the car.

When Christmas Day came I was celebrating with family like every year. The roads were cold and icy. So I had to be very careful while driving. By now you're probably clued in on the title. Yeah, Dave "Borrowed" my car again during the Christmas party. Apparently he decided he wa

So, I (44 M) am fairly well off. I'm high up in the company where I work and money's no problem for my wife (33 F) and our two kids. When I was 17, I wasn't the type of person that you'd want to be a father. My own father was a terrifying presence. I almost flunked high school. My high school girlfriend Sofia left me after I got held by the cops one night and in a double whammy, she moved to Scotland with her dad for university in Edinburgh.

Sofia was pregnant and never told me. She never kept in touch I wasn't looking her up in Scotland. I feel like I had a right to know. Ironically, her leaving made me get my life together and I did very well in university. Sometime when we were 18, she gave birth to my daughter Inessa.

Well, Inessa knew who I was and so she decided to contact me, telling me I was her father.

Sofia and Inessa had moved back to the country (different city) and I flew out to meet her. I saw a picture of her after she contacted me, she looks just like my mother (so no need for a DNA test). I avoided seeing her mom and I spent all the time I could with her, getting to know her and learning all that I'd missed. Here's the kicker, I gave my kids the best life possible but she struggled her entire life. After Sofia's dad died, they had a bad time in Scotland and even briefly moved with her mom to Russia. They're doing good now, because my Inessa's got a great job in the same field I started out in.

It made me mad. I could've provided for her. She could've gone to the fancy schools that my kids go to. She could've gotten new shoes, clothes, games every birthday and Christmas. She didn't even have her father to teach her how to drive. I didn't even pay child support. It makes me upset I didn't do right by her.

When I met her mom again, it was tense. I laid out everything I wrote in a calm manner and my daughter made me leave as her mother was going to cry. I met Inessa the day after when I left and we've talked every night since but we haven't brought that up.

My wife told me I was an asshole to tell her mother that and demanded I apologize, but I couldn't help but feeling like I wasn't wrong. However, a few days ago, my wife told me she's pregnant and she talked to me about the situation in terms of what if I passed before my child was born and since then I've felt like a major asshole because Sofia did a much better job with Inessa than other single parents I knew like my own father.