What does a Canadian sprinter yell at kids on his lawn?

Get off DeGrasse

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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Dad nuked us with this one last night while watching Cosmos

Neil deGrasse Tyson was talking about how the earliest fish had no eyes, to which my dad responded "I guess they were just fsh."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GustavBahler
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2014
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Dad's pressing question to the guide of a hiking trek in a spanish speaking country.

Guide: (broken english) "There is a lot of grass in this area because...[good reason]."

Dad: (to me, but loud enough for everyone to hear) "You know what the locals call that...?"

Me: "No, what?"

Dad: "Muchas gracias!" (followed by the biggest grin I've ever seen)

Guide: (confused) "De nada..."

My family quickly and casually disassociates before seeing other families face palm for us.

I was the only one who laughed...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rpk213
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2014
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