Curiosity is a dangerous thing folks
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πŸ‘€︎ u/etinaude
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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I went to the zoo today where I saw a baguette behind the bars out of curiosity I asked the zoo keeper if everything was alright he replied

β€œYeahh mate no problem it’s bread in captivity”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaseNStatham
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Curiosity has killed so many cats

we had to exile it to a different planet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/realpbc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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"Doctor, are the test results ready? I'm dying from curiosity"

"Heh, not just curiosity"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichPeanut
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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Out of curiosity, I very quietly slipped an old Tic Tac into my mouth.

It was a silent expired mint.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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Curiosity Killed The Cat. youtube.com/watch?v=LnozH…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/machine_pun
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2015
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"They say curiosity killed the cat."

Just told this one to a co-worker..

Bill: Well, humans are naturally curious creatures.

Me: As the saying goes, "curiosity killed the cat." But.. I think it was wrongly accused. Did anyone see curiosity kill the cat? Was it convicted by a jury of its peers? What happened to due process?

I got a good chuckle out of him, but I'm afraid it might not translate so well here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/curzyk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2016
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Get it ?
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FUNAVILENT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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A chicken went into a library

She went up to the counter and said "buk" The librarian handed her a book and she left. Five minutes later the chicken returned to the counter and said "buk buk", got 2 books and left. This went on about six or seven times before curiosity got the better of the librarian and she decided to follow the chicken outside to the park with a pond in the middle. The chicken threw the latest book to a frog sat on a Lilly pad in the middle of the pond and shouted "BUK!" The frog looked at it and said "Reddit"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/looce13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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The rover killed the cat!

NASA proudly calls it β€˜Curiosity’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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Because there's no nightlife on Mars.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/recoro06
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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Used a meme format to make a pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Withered_core
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Martha had always listened to her parents when they said β€˜stay away from fire’, but today, her interests got the best of her and she intentionally lit herself on fire just to see what it felt like.

Martha was burning with curiosity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/husbus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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After getting married, the woman filed for divorce the very next morning...........

Judge: "I don't understand, what happened?"

Woman: "I work in a pharmacy. I met him when he first came there last week and asked to purchase an X-X-X-X-L condom. That's when I thought, for a happy pleasureful life, I should get him to marry me before any other girls find out and lap him up."

Judge: "ok.... then? "

Woman: "I held my excitement all day thru the wedding, waiting for the night..... so at night when I my curiosity couldn't wait any longer........I found out something."

Judge: "what?"

Woman: "the Bastard has speech disorder.... he STAMMERS!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Why can't cats live on mars

Curiosity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aqeel01
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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The correct attire
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dylan_adams90
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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A Dad joke planted as a seed, which took 17 years to flower.

Not quite as tragic, but it manifested into something which has haunted me at my job for years.

When I was a little kid learning about the world around me, my dad was naturally the font of all knowledge for me, He would answer all of little snippersmith's questions with his own unique insights and anecdotes teaching me of my surroundings with varying degrees of accuracy.

One day In a picture book, I encountered a photo of one of natures most bizarre creatures, the mighty duck billed platypus. Filled with curiosity of this bizarre creature and an Inability to read a young snippersmith asked his father what this creature was called, To which his father replied,

That's a Quackopotamous.....

As is a highly likely situation in day to day life the Platypus (or indeed the Quackopotamous), did not come into conversation for another 17 years, Until of course the Platypus came into conversation around the lunch table at a now grown up snippersmith's full time place of work.

I have not been allowed to forget I thought the Platypus was called a Quackopotamous, Indeed I am reminded on a daily basis by my colleagues, by my nickname Quackopotamous .

Thanks Dad.

EDIT 1: Holy Cow this took off! Gold! thank you so much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snippersmith
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2016
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I always wondered what was on top of Mt. Everest

I guess it always peak-ed my curiosity.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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The Goddess Mosquito

I currently have a very uncomfortable and inflamed bug bite on my foot. This morning while making my coffee, I noticed a fat mosquito walking around on the counter. I called my husband over to kill it.

He grabbed a napkin, killed it, and said, "Wow. That was definitely the Goddess Mosquito."

I obviously asked with genuine curiosity, "What's a Goddess Mosquito?"

He said,

"It's the one that got us."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/papyra
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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My teacher asked me to use the word "irony" in a sentence.

So I said I was playing golf and out of curiosity I licked one of my golf clubs. It tasted irony.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajays97
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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Why are there no cats on Mars?

Because Curiosity got there first!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acnine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
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The Mars rover recently found a dead cat

It was alive until Curiosity killed it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justainsel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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My brother's first son isn't due for another week, but he's starting the dad jokes early.

My sister-in-law, washing clothes: Babe, I think you left a twenty in your pocket.

My brother, soon-to-be-dad: Oh my god, I'm a money launderer! I don't want to go to jail!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gingerfer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2013
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Why do barbers ask so many questions?

Shear curiosity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/usegao
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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A man is driving along a back road at night

His car crashes into a tree, and he escapes unhurt though his car is badly damaged. However, he needs to find somewhere to stay overnight. The man wanders alnog the road until he comes across a monastery. He knocks on the door, and a friendly monk answers.

Man: I've crashed my car and need a place to stay tonight, might I have one of your rooms?

Monk: of course, come right this way.

The monk shows the man to a room, and the man goes to sleep. At midnight, the man is awoken by a loud thumping on the ceiling. He thinks nothing of it and goes to bed, sleeping soundly the rest of the night.

The next day at breakfast he asks one of the monks about the thumping. The monk replies,"sorry, I can't tell you you aren't a monk". The man figures that that's a pretty fair response, and goes to try and fix his car.

After working on the car all day, the man returns to the monastery and asks to stay another night. The monks of course oblige, and the man goes back to the same room. This night, he is awakened by the same thumping, this time even louder. He wonders about it and eventually drifts off to sleep.

The next day, the man continues to work on the car, and needs to stay just one more night to complete it. The monks are happy to give him a room, but the man asks to me moved to a different room so he won't hear the thumping. The man goes to bed but is awakened by even louder thumping.

He decides to go investigate, and climbs the stairs, only to find a locked iron door, with the thumping coming from behind it. Unsatisfied, he goes back to bed.

The next morning, he asks the lead monk about the thumping. The lead monk replies,"sorry, can't tell you you aren't a monk". The man, filled with curiosity, asks the leader how to become a monk. The leader gives him 3 tasks: the first, to circumnavigate the globe, to learn about culture, the second task, to cut an entire field with scissors to learn patience, and the third, to memorize the entire monk book, to learn discipline.

The man completes all the tasks, and the leader takes him up to the iron door and pulls out a key. He opens the door to reveal the Monk's greatest secret.

If you're wondering what it is, I'm sorry, I can't tell you, you aren't a monk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clutchdanger11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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Dad gets some ink

A man visits a tattoo parlor with a rather simple, but strange request. He requests a short, straight line tattooed on his upper arm.

Once the first tattoo heals, he returns, asking for another, exactly the same as the first.

After a few more visits, it becomes clear to the tattoo artist that he's tattooing tally marks on the customer's arm.

Curiosity getting the better of the tattoo artist, he asks, "What are you counting?"

The man answers, "How many tattoos I have."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scruluce
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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That's very punny, Mr. President

Curiosity Rover carries Obama's signature to Mars:

http://i.imgur.com/afpXW8Z.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Furfaidz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2017
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Did you hear the one about the cat that got murdered by a Mars rover?

Curiosity killed the cat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TooAnonToQuit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
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Rover finds life on Mars!

The new rover Curiosity discovered life on Mars tonight. A small group of creatures resembling cats was discovered unfortunately, the rover came down directly on top of the colony killing them. Even millions of miles away, Curiosity kills the cats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FromageOmage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2012
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Abe Lincoln's House

Girlfriends family went to visit the house that Abe Lincoln was born in. I said, "You know how they knew it was his house even though it's been all these years?" They looked at me with curiosity. I said "Their name was still on the mailbox"

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πŸ“…︎ May 02 2016
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The best dad jokes are the ones you laugh at more than the audience...

I didn't come up with this but its been flying around reddit for a while...

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?' The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.

Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball.'

The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink ping pong ball you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday present a pink ping pong ball.

The boy took the ball to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' replied the son,I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' said the son to this,I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A carton of pink ping pong balls?'

`A carton of pink ping pong balls,' the boy confirmed.

I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Sven
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2013
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Dad joked by a word document

So I'm working a summer desk job where one of my duties is to print and cut out stencils to use in labeling materials. I open up the stencils file so I can use an existing document and make sure I get the formatting right.

I was going to pick the first one when one near the bottom stood out. The document was named "Walrus". None of what the business does deals with aquatic life. All the other things are named after what they are, such as "Sheets" "Towels" etc. So, for curiosity's sake, I had to open the document--

And the stencil said "5-Foot Seal". I groaned at my desk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/runaroundsue
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2014
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A geologist is showing off some the latest additions to her collection

when coincidentally another geologist passes by. These 'gems' catch his eyes. His curiosity becomes anger and he exclaims,

"I just had a few prized finds of my own go missing a few days ago. Where did you get these!?".

The other geologist replies, "Well, that's none of your Bismuth".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afrotronics
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
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A holiday dinner for the ages

My family and I are out to eat and the waitress comes over to take our orders. The waitress tells us they have an oyster special.

Me (to the waitress): "Out of curiosity, where are the oysters from?"

Dad: "The kitchen."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McGrubenstein
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2013
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Forward from dad several years ago...

WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2 lb. can of coffee, And a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct, but how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doctor01001010
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2013
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Why are there no cats on mars?

Curiosity killed them all.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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Why are there are no cats on Mars ?

Curiosity killed them all

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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Why are there no cats on mars?

Curiosity killed them all.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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NASA sent a Cat to Mars but it died.

Curiosity killed the Cat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/freezerbreezer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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Why are there no cats on Mars?

Curiosity killed them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KFCcoolio
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2018
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Why do cats hate NASA?

Because Curiosity killed the cat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corificness
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2017
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