What do they call employee of the month at the crematorium?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ehyni
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2021
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Working in a crematorium,

you can never urn a living.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phenix_Flare
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2021
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When my aunt Penny died she hadn’t cut her hair in 20 years, when we took her to the crematorium it turns out they charged by weight and we couldn’t afford a receptacle for her ashes. I learned an important lesson that day.

A Penny shaved is a Penny urned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTayloceraptor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2021
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There's a music festival at the crematorium

It's called burning man

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WalterNewton
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2021
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I got a promotion at the crematorium.

My boss told me I urned it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bridgejano11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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What did the new crematorium say about the grave digger?

I’m about to ruin this man’s hole career.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grave_Digger606
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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Should crematoriums give discounts...

to burns victims?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Had to take my water to the crematorium today...

It will be mist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Griff_JM
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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What do you call the best crematorium in the country?

The creme de la crematorium

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neti-Neti-Neti
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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I delivered to a pet crematorium for the first time yesterday.

The place smelled like hotdogs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrOddYazz
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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I was going to get a job a crematorium,

But I'm lactose intolerant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/preston98_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2017
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I started working at a crematorium the other day

I think I really urned this job

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
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I work at a crematorium

I'm not "destroying evidence", I'm just working from home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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Crematorium workers make their money the old-fashioned way.

They urn it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OnyxSwangin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2017
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It's not surprising that I find dead people hot

In a crematorium

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lam_me
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2021
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Great joke, albeit a bit long winded.

There was once a boy. He was the son of the richest man in the universe. Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, he dwarfed them all. He was a multi-trillionaire. Now, it was this boy's birthday. His father asked him,

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. A store full of lego, all the video games in the world, anything. What would you like?"

His son replied.

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one pink ping pong ball."

His father was rather confused by this request. Out of all the things he could've chosen, his son chose a ping pong ball. Nonetheless, he agreed and gave him a pink ping pong ball. His son was overjoyed and spoke to him.

"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong ball?"

"Okay son, go ahead."

The boy then went up to his room and played with his pink ping pong ball. When his father went in the next morning to check on him, the boy was sleeping in his bed and the pink ping pong ball was nowhere to be found.

On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"

His son replied.

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one box full of pink ping pong balls."

His father was again, confused by this. Still, he bought a cardboard box and filled it with ping pong balls. He gave it to his son, who said.

"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong balls?"

The father nodded, and the son went up to his room to play. The next morning when his father went to check, the boy was sleeping peacefully and there were no pink ping pong balls in sight. Just the empty cardboard box in the middle of the room.

On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one truck full of ping pong balls."

Now, by this point, the father was extremely confused. Why did the boy want so many pink ping pong balls and where were they going? He asked.

"My son. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and I can certainly get you this, but may I ask, why do you want

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phrresehelp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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Do you know what is the major reason of dry skin?

Towels.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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While staying with my great aunt and uncle

So as my great aunt and uncle are showing me and my girlfriend around their neighbourhood.

"and to the right, we have the dead centre of Croydon" as we pass a crematorium. He's a great dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kippos21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2014
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What do you call the employee of the month at a crematorium?

A top urner

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2021
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What do they call employee of the month at the crematorium?

Top Urner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yomommafool
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2021
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Joke

Working in a crematorium, you can never urn a living.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theredditman111
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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