My Aunt Penny keeps coming back to life after her cremation
I guess itβs true... a penny urned is a penny saved.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
I can get you a great deal on cremation services....
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
Cremation, the last chance for a smokin hot body
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 07 2019
Cremation isnβt free
π︎ 88
π
︎ Feb 13 2019
I canβt wait for cremation
Iβll finally have that hot smoking bod I always wanted
π︎ 28
π
︎ Aug 19 2019
I was considering cremation...
But what if I'm lactose intolerant?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 21 2019
βWhen I die, let me pay for my own cremation. I want to urn it.β
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 07 2018
Here at Smith Blarney cremation service we make money the old-fashioned way
π︎ 27
π
︎ Dec 19 2016
I hear more and more people are opting for cremation...
I guess urnings must be up.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 30 2018
Cremation is a privilege...
π︎ 39
π
︎ Aug 14 2015
My dad, after letting us all know he chose cremation when making end-of-life preparations
"I just want to go out with a smokin' hot body."
Good one, dad.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 03 2014
When I die, I want to be cremated.
π︎ 56
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Apparently they won't just cremate anyone.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
Do we cremate dead chemists?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
I cremated my grandfather back in 2000 and bought him the best urn.
It was the urn of the century.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
My grandmother is getting cremated in Kentucky.
Not sure if I should get original or extra crispy.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
I told my wife I wanted to be cremated.
She made me an appointment for Tuesday
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
When I die my wish is to be cremated except for my funny bone
That way my humerus with my family forever.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 02 2020
My father saved up his whole life so he could be cremated
π︎ 265
π
︎ Sep 08 2019
I got the sack for asking a customer if they wanted smoking or non smoking.
Cremation or funeral was the correct term.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
How do you cremate someone who died on Pi Day?
You burn them on their funeral Οres
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandpa...
Until my mom hid the urn from me.
π︎ 239
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
Hagrid cremates Harry Potter and throws his ashes into a snowstorm
"You're a blizzard, Harry"
π︎ 144
π
︎ Jul 02 2019
When my grandma died, I had her cremated and put her ashes in a trophy that said "World's Best Grandma."
π︎ 99
π
︎ Jul 30 2019
Before I die I am going to eat a whole bag of unpopped popcorn.
Just to make the cremation process a little bit more interesting.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
I started a graveyard for only my pals who are cremated...
If you wanna come there, you gotta urn my friendship.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 28 2019
When I die, I told my wife to cremate me.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
If a man named Reese was cremated, his urn would be a Reese's cup.
And inside would be Reese's pieces.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jul 28 2019
When my cousin Frank died, his body was cremated, and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jul 08 2019
Why canβt the pope be cremated?
Because heβs still alive.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 22 2019
My grandmother led a great life so we made sure to cremate her
π︎ 36
π
︎ May 14 2019
My Grandma died. She was cremated.
We think that's what did it.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 25 2019
Wife asked if I wanted to be cremated when I die
I'm beginning to warm up to the idea.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Nov 27 2017
A friend of my mine got sacked from his job, he asked Smoking or Non-Smoking
He should have asked Burial or Cremation
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
I have always heard Col. Sanders was supposed to be cremated,
but his family couldn't figure out to go with original or extra crispy.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 15 2018
When I die, I want to be cremated and put into an hourglass...
So I can continue to spend time with my family
π︎ 76
π
︎ Mar 20 2017
My secret dad power is invisibility
Unfortunately, it only works at parties.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 27 2020
When I die, I want to be cremated
Its my last chance to have a smoking hot body, and I don't plan on missing it
π︎ 20
π
︎ Aug 08 2017
Where do they cremate donuts?
At the Boston creamatorium.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 20 2018
I got fired when I asked a customer if he preferred smoking or non smoking.
Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial".
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Nov 19 2019
Did you hear about the morgue employee who got cremated?
He fell asleep on the clock and got fired.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 17 2017
How do you inter a burrito?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 16 2020
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer "Smoking" or "Non-Smoking".
Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial"
π︎ 77
π
︎ May 05 2020
Cremation is my last chance to have a smoking hot body.
π︎ 108
π
︎ Mar 27 2018
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