My Aunt Penny keeps coming back to life after her cremation

I guess it’s true... a penny urned is a penny saved.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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I can get you a great deal on cremation services....

But you have to urn it.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ravanik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Cremation isn’t free

You have to urn it

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/04niceguy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Cremation, the last chance for a smokin hot body
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gupp06
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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I can’t wait for cremation

I’ll finally have that hot smoking bod I always wanted

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaverickTD13
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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I was considering cremation...

But what if I'm lactose intolerant?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrBELDING69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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β€œWhen I die, let me pay for my own cremation. I want to urn it.”
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RushFox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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Here at Smith Blarney cremation service we make money the old-fashioned way
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
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I hear more and more people are opting for cremation...

I guess urnings must be up.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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Cremation is a privilege...

...one you have to urn.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kubrick_Fan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2015
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My dad, after letting us all know he chose cremation when making end-of-life preparations

"I just want to go out with a smokin' hot body."

Good one, dad.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewdog173
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2014
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As a family we couldn't decide whether to have our grandma buried or cremated ...

So we let her live.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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When I die, I want to be cremated.

I think I've urned it.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Do we cremate dead chemists?

No, we Barium.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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Apparently they won't just cremate anyone.

You've gotta urn it!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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My grandmother is getting cremated in Kentucky.

Not sure if I should get original or extra crispy.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meltingXsnowman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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I told my wife I wanted to be cremated.

She made me an appointment for Tuesday

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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When I die my wish is to be cremated except for my funny bone

That way my humerus with my family forever.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fairlybludgeoned
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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My father saved up his whole life so he could be cremated

He really urned it.

πŸ‘︎ 260
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alliswellinnz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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Hagrid cremates Harry Potter and throws his ashes into a snowstorm

"You're a blizzard, Harry"

πŸ‘︎ 138
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Catsu_Miola
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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When my grandma died, I had her cremated and put her ashes in a trophy that said "World's Best Grandma."

She urned it.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaxxisR
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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How do you cremate someone who died on Pi Day?

You burn them on their funeral Ο€res

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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I started a graveyard for only my pals who are cremated...

If you wanna come there, you gotta urn my friendship.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
When I die, I told my wife to cremate me.

It's my ash wish.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tunayafish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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If a man named Reese was cremated, his urn would be a Reese's cup.

And inside would be Reese's pieces.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lil_kibble
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandpa...

Until my mom hid the urn from me.

πŸ‘︎ 241
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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When my cousin Frank died, his body was cremated, and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.

Now he's Frank in stein.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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My grandmother led a great life so we made sure to cremate her

Because she urned it

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jelsen
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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Why can’t the pope be cremated?

Because he’s still alive.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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My Grandma died. She was cremated.

We think that's what did it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arutkow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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Wife asked if I wanted to be cremated when I die

I'm beginning to warm up to the idea.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Checksbounce
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
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I got the sack for asking a customer if they wanted smoking or non smoking.

Cremation or funeral was the correct term.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
A dear friend of mine passed away recently. He asked that we spread his cremated ashes in the big fountain in the town square.

He will be mist.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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Before I die I am going to eat a whole bag of unpopped popcorn.

Just to make the cremation process a little bit more interesting.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b_wanker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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I have always heard Col. Sanders was supposed to be cremated,

but his family couldn't figure out to go with original or extra crispy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CecilBlight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
🚨︎ report
When I die, I want to be cremated and put into an hourglass...

So I can continue to spend time with my family

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nathamatics
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
🚨︎ report
When I die, I want to be cremated

Its my last chance to have a smoking hot body, and I don't plan on missing it

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/penny_eater
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Where do they cremate donuts?

At the Boston creamatorium.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stz1
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the morgue employee who got cremated?

He fell asleep on the clock and got fired.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Justicarnage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
🚨︎ report
I got fired when I asked a customer if he preferred smoking or non smoking.

Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial".

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My secret dad power is invisibility

Unfortunately, it only works at parties.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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The pope doesnt want to be cremated

Oh really why not?

Cuzz he's still alive

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrStaak
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer "Smoking" or "Non-Smoking".

Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial"

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ht-18
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you inter a burrito?

Sour cremation.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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Cremation is my last chance to have a smoking hot body.
πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mapguy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
🚨︎ report

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