After about half an hour the doctor says..."You won't believe this, but i just pulled $1999 out of your bottom"
The man turns around and says "Yeah, I wasn't feeling 2 grand"
You know, to make light of the situation the worlds in right now.
Second dog leaps up and goes berserk...
I was hungry. So I Czeched the fridge. 🇨🇿 Nothing was there, so I was Russian over to the nearest restaurant. 🇷🇺 I grabbed some Turkey, but it was layered in Greece. I Haiti ting food that isn’t Swedened. 🇹🇳🇬🇷🇸🇪 I felt like I could Italy food in my house. 🇮🇹
It was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away
everything is still up in the air.
As much as it sucks, it’s better to be safe than SARS-y
It's very influenzial on the worldwide market.
He couldn’t see that well
I've got some really big shoes to fill!
Friend: I had a dream about a dragon last night. Its name was Fire Fawcett.
Me: It's too bad its name wasn't Uther, since it was a PUNdragon.
Friend: ...
Me: *bows*
Though I guess that's just a generalization.
Guess I wont stop beating him then...
Because it was only a minor inconvenience.
I set my items on the counter, and the cashier starts ringing them up one after another while I wait patiently. I notice the guy in line behind me a few people still acting a little weird, antsy is how I would describe it.
Anyways, the cashier snaps me out of my thoughts by telling me my total and as I go to reach for my wallet, I see the guy dashing out the door.... as in transfixed on his fleeing image, my hand reaches my pocket and I realize he's stolen my wallet!
I make a mad dash for him, chasing him down in the middle of the parking lot. He reaches his vehicle at the other end and as he hops in, I catch up to him and I'm able to grab his leg. I start pulling his leg and pulling his leg harder and harder trying to get him out.
I keep pulling his leg very similarly to how I've been pulling your leg for the last minute.
Black Sabbath
Today, I'm sitting in the kitchen with my dad and I am telling him about this conversation I had with a coworker about different computer operating systems the day before.
Me: "I was telling him that Windows has its own merits and the dude says that he doesn't trust Windows at..."
Dad: "Why doesn't he trust windows, you can see right though them?"
Me: "........."
First and foremost, this is my first actual reddit post (been a lurker for some time now). Anyways, onto the dad jokes. Recently as I have been getting older, it's becoming more and more apparent that I am doomed to inheritance of the typical dad jokes, especially my dad's favorites. Many a time now have I passed a graveyard in the car, asking any occupants, "you see that place over there? people are dying to get in". cue groans and stifled giggles But what about dad rage? Something his grandfather used to say, and he has said, and now I say....road rage makes for the weirdest rages. "Get out, put it on a string and pull it behind you". Yes, I have said that. I AM DOOMED REDDIT. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED.
Second dog leaps up and goes berserk...
