A man goes to the doctor, and says "doctor, I havent been peeing correctly and its painful". The doctor replies "I will have to perform a prostate exam." As the doctor examines the man, he pulls out an $100 bill out of his bottom. This continues, he keeps pulling out money from this man's bottom.

After about half an hour the doctor says..."You won't believe this, but i just pulled $1999 out of your bottom"

The man turns around and says "Yeah, I wasn't feeling 2 grand"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/domheffo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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In these dark times, itโ€™s important we all continue to make puns.

You know, to make light of the situation the worlds in right now.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KiwahJooz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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A couple of dogs were sitting in the kitchen chewing the fat. First dog says, โ€œI heard a good joke today.โ€ Second dog replies, โ€œGo on then.โ€ First dog continues, โ€œKnock Kno..."

Second dog leaps up and goes berserk...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/youthfulcomrade
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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It continues
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DepressedTrashBag
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09 2020
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Continue with this trend!!

I was hungry. So I Czeched the fridge. ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ Nothing was there, so I was Russian over to the nearest restaurant. ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ I grabbed some Turkey, but it was layered in Greece. I Haiti ting food that isnโ€™t Swedened. ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช I felt like I could Italy food in my house. ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thebitlifelover
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Iโ€™m not sure why people continue to argue and complain about Star Wars

It was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Evilmentalhamster
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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the legendary revolutionary who continues to create ripples all around the world. ๐ŸŒ’
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madjholu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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Everyone has been asking me about my plan to continue my career as a juggler when the quarantine ends, but Iโ€™m not sure yet...

everything is still up in the air.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lankyjay16
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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As we continue to deal with the mask wearing, social distancing and uncertainty through the coming weeks, we canโ€™t lose sight of how important it is to continue taking these precautions.

As much as it sucks, itโ€™s better to be safe than SARS-y

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hashsmasher
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Turns out that the coronavirus is set to cost the world 2.5% of the global GDP if it continues at the rate it's going.

It's very influenzial on the worldwide market.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MrFillywonk
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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A guy is walking along, and he continues to walk. Eventually he walks into a well. Why did the guy walk into a well?

He couldnโ€™t see that well

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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My father, who comes from a long line of clowns, just retired and wants me to continue the family legacyโ€ฆ

I've got some really big shoes to fill!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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My pun compulsion continues...

Friend: I had a dream about a dragon last night. Its name was Fire Fawcett.

Me: It's too bad its name wasn't Uther, since it was a PUNdragon.

Friend: ...

Me: *bows*

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/yethica
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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It's safe to assume that, once someone rises to the rank of Colonel, they will continue to be promoted.

Though I guess that's just a generalization.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DthAlchemist
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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My son's teacher said I'm educating my son well, and to continue to do what i was doing at home...

Guess I wont stop beating him then...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/UltimatePeanut
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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Why did the pianist continue to play on the piano, even when some notes didnโ€™t work?

Because it was only a minor inconvenience.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pdonkey
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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"Lettuce shortage could be tip of the iceberg as heatwave continues" - The Telegraph. That was worthy of the Grauniad.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MartiniPlusOlive
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
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I know this is old, but this is no ordinary link post... kelp me continue the sea of puns in the comments section below! collegehumor.com/upick/66โ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tony_1337
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 08 2012
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So I'm at the store today, and I've gathered my items. I head for the checkout to pay for all of my stuff, while on my way there, I see a guy acting a little strange, but I continue on my way.

I set my items on the counter, and the cashier starts ringing them up one after another while I wait patiently. I notice the guy in line behind me a few people still acting a little weird, antsy is how I would describe it.

Anyways, the cashier snaps me out of my thoughts by telling me my total and as I go to reach for my wallet, I see the guy dashing out the door.... as in transfixed on his fleeing image, my hand reaches my pocket and I realize he's stolen my wallet!

I make a mad dash for him, chasing him down in the middle of the parking lot. He reaches his vehicle at the other end and as he hops in, I catch up to him and I'm able to grab his leg. I start pulling his leg and pulling his leg harder and harder trying to get him out.

I keep pulling his leg very similarly to how I've been pulling your leg for the last minute.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SoDakZak
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
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WW2 vets. Did you continue treating animals after the war or go back to your day jobs?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/feckthis
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 02 2017
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For some reason black Friday continues for the rest of the week, i guess that makes today

Black Sabbath

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/evilhomers
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
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I couldn't even continue my conversation after this...

Today, I'm sitting in the kitchen with my dad and I am telling him about this conversation I had with a coworker about different computer operating systems the day before.

Me: "I was telling him that Windows has its own merits and the dude says that he doesn't trust Windows at..."

Dad: "Why doesn't he trust windows, you can see right though them?"

Me: "........."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NarrWallace
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
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The vicious cycle continues.....

First and foremost, this is my first actual reddit post (been a lurker for some time now). Anyways, onto the dad jokes. Recently as I have been getting older, it's becoming more and more apparent that I am doomed to inheritance of the typical dad jokes, especially my dad's favorites. Many a time now have I passed a graveyard in the car, asking any occupants, "you see that place over there? people are dying to get in". cue groans and stifled giggles But what about dad rage? Something his grandfather used to say, and he has said, and now I say....road rage makes for the weirdest rages. "Get out, put it on a string and pull it behind you". Yes, I have said that. I AM DOOMED REDDIT. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheMadMandalorian
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 20 2015
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A couple of dogs were sitting in the kitchen chewing the fat. First dog says, โ€œI heard a good joke today.โ€ Second dog replies, โ€œGo on then.โ€ First dog continues, โ€œKnock Kno..."

Second dog leaps up and goes berserk...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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