I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."

πŸ‘︎ 22k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchipelagoMind
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
This post may contain centsible content...
πŸ‘︎ 520
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simmson420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
This is not oc content it MAY be a re p o st
πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Some 18+ content

19

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DontTouchMyCouch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
uplifting content with lame goat pun lol
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/memoryisnotRAM
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I misplaced my pizza cutter so I had to use my Bryan Adams cd.

It cuts like a knife.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CobaltD70
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the garden center today and bought a Christmas Tree.

The assistant asked me, β€œWill you be putting that up yourself?” I replied, β€œNo, I’ll be putting it up in my living room.”

πŸ‘︎ 271
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forstuvetankel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad came out as trans so we accepted him as a man, my mom came out as trans so we accepted her as a woman.

It was honestly a surprise but at least they were both Trans-Parent about it.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elemental55555
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to break an egg to make an omelette, but it's contents went flying everywhere

Ugh. Yolk.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honest2dog
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How much of Reddit content is made up of recurring themes?

69%

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IMightNotBeKevin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists found traces of Trinitrotoluene in a T-Rex skeleton. Scientists have since determined that T-Rex's muscles used the compound to function.

TNT. It's dino might.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/veive
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Shake well before consuming

Contents may have settled, started a family, and proliferated in the container.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Camo5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A truck loaded with thesauruses crashed, spilling its contents over a large area...

Onlookers were shocked, astounded, agape, flabbergasted and taken aback.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A man goes into surgery to get his Appendix removed.

Unfortunately, the doctor cut a little too deep and the man's organs began to spill out onto the operating table....

...

...

"Well, it looks you have a table of contents now" says the medical assistant.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear? Since COVID-19 has everyone is stuck at home, and sports networks need content, they've decided to televise competitive bathroom sports.

It'll be on the channel E. S. Peein.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Howardyoudoing95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an instagram celeb who got Corona?

An influenzer.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NAtionalniHIlist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
An armed robber bursts into a store one day.

Pointing his firearm at two cashiers, he shouts β€œhand over the contents of the cash register! I need it to set myself up in a trade or profession...you know, a habitual occupation followed for a livelihood and involving commercial transactions!”

Cashier 1: β€œWhat do we do?”

Cashier 2: β€œDo what he says, I think he means business!”

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titsonafish
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
This sub doesn't have enough content

https://www.signaturebreads.com/assets/images/breads/thumbs/24025.png

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Can i see the gluten content?
πŸ‘︎ 320
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lil_Pask
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Having a blast!
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hootanahalf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
[OC] Guess the Visual Pun
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PunPics
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A Ramen Noodle truck overturned on the freeway today, spilling all its contents out onto the road...

Damages are estimated at $4.81 !

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.

Must be the high Mercury content.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
/r/BlackFathers will now be a positive and supportive community for Black and POC fathers

https://i.imgur.com/GlXV2kE.gifv

Reddit admins have recently granted ownership of /r/BlackFathers to myself and a group of other Black/POC mods, and it is our intention to make this a positive and supportive community. This is a place where Black/POC fathers and their family, friends, and colleagues can find helpful resources, welcoming content, and a safe space to learn from each other and share our experience.

Content of all types are welcome so long as the subject/focus of the content is supportive of Black/POC fathers. We look forward to seeing you there.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigJ76
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
They told me I wouldn't be any good at poetry because I was dyslexic

But so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they're lovely

πŸ‘︎ 185
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Content Advisory
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yourSAS
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Need content

I found out today I'm going to be a dad, I need some good jokes!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/getsomeapples
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a criminal sleeping in a tent?

A ConTent

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomatoTheTornado
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife: β€œDid you just make up that joke?” Me: β€œNo, I....”

β€œ...learned it from an American social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website that I can’t remember the name of.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
******The Hunchshaq of Notre Dame***** (Frame from the YouTube video β€œshaq eats a hot wing content aware scale”)
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeclanKav18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Fire content right there
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lamecreature118
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Round and Round, Round and Round
πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/homodemen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Once upon a time, a setup went to a ball.

At the ball were many important people, well above the setup’s class. There was Original Content, Reposts, and even a couple from Google Searches for β€˜Dad Jokes Nobody Knows’.

Just seeing them made his mouth dry, so he began looking for something to drink. He knew his friend Joke was there somewhere, part of the crew catering the food and drinks. Seeing a server carrying glasses of champagne, he went up to him and asked,

β€œWould you know where to find the one they call the Joke? He’s supposed to be running drinks I think,”

β€œYeah! For sure. He’s right over there! You’ll find him at the end of the punch line,”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cosmicnate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the scale for blood-alcohol content in drivers called?

The DUI Decimal System

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unastronaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Doube dip content and title
πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FR3381RD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Original Content
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jitchmones
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know the lignin content of old paper is what gives books their old book odor?

It all makes scents now!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A dadjoke w/o the d
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The ladybug has the second highest moisture content

But there's one bug that's weta

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denob
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I just posted a msg to Reddit about the lack of original frontpage content. This was the subject line of their reply.

RE: Post

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neudeu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
If you give an eevee money what does it evolve into?

Patreon

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Iann2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I listened to Queen albums for 12 hours in a row, and now I feel a little sick.

It must be the high Mercury content.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.

It must be the high Mercury content.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row and now I feel a little sick.

Must be the high Mercury content.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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