A list of puns related to "Columbus"
Its the Internet Explorer.
It is brave enough to ask to be my default browser.
Guess that ship has sailed.
He said, "O, hio".
His name is Roary.
He wanted to be in uncharded waters.
Men, get on the ship.
A Navi-Gator
He was quartered on the port side.
Me: Christopher Columbus?
Dad: Your Stupid, it's Internet Explorer
Everyone knows the Pythagorean theorem, but few people know that Pythagoras was an avid and accomplished explorer who visited the new world before the Vikings or Columbus ever laid eyes on the continent. On one of his early visits he encountered a village and happened upon a woman, heavily pregnant sitting on the hide of a bear. He asked her what she was doing and she told him that she wanted to give birth on the hide so that her child would have the strength of a bear when he was born. As he walked further into the main part of the village he saw another woman, again quite pregnant sitting on the hide of a deer. When asked she replied that she wanted her child to have the grace and agility of a deer. Seeing a trend he was taken aback when he saw a very pregnant woman sitting on the hide of a hippopotamus. Surprised both at the choice and at the existence of such a creature, he wondered what she must wish for her child, but she replied that there just werenβt any other hides available for her so she took what she could get.
Many years later when he returned to the same village, he encountered the first woman and asked about her child. Was he as strong as a bear? She pointed him out and sure enough, her son was busy ripping a stump out of the ground with his hands, as strong as a bear! Amazed, he sought out the second woman, who pointed out her son, running through a field at great speed, as graceful and agile as a deer! Intrigued to say the least, Pythagoras sought the third woman. She pointed out her son, and he didnβt believe his eyes - he was both as strong as a bear and as graceful as a deer; a mountain of a man with grace and poise.
He wrote in his now-famous travel journal his amazing discovery; that the sons of the squaws on the two smaller hides are equal to that of the squaw on the hippopotamus.
He drowned in his teapee.
Edit: formatting
Over the weekend, while working in the yard, a neighbor walked by and asked if I had seen their dog. I told her I hadn't, but I would keep watch out for it.
A little bit later a police cruiser pulled up and asked if I had seen a shih tzu. I told them that there was one in Columbus and one in Cincinnati, but they were both pretty good. The passenger rolled his eyes, but the driver literally laughed out loud. The dad was apparent.
Several years ago, a bunch of college friends were visiting me in NY during Columbus Day weekend. My parents offer to drive us into NYC, and on the way my father points out a huge cemetery. "Hey, do you know who's buried there?" My father asked. "Who?" We all asked excitedly. "Dead people." Cue collective groans and "God damnit..."
Happy Birthday from Columbus. Cathy (my mom) made you cookies. I ate them for you. Think of it as a slimming birthday present from your waist line to my belly! Your welcome! Happy 21st.
My father-in-law tends to tell jokes in the first person. So, not "Hey, did you hear the one about the Aggie..." but "I was talking to my buddy Joe who is an Aggie...." This means you never quite know when the joke is coming.
Today: "I was talking to my buddy, and I mentioned: 'Did you know elks have intercourse 15 times a day?'" He said, "Oh shit, I just went out and joined the Knights of Columbus!"
Me: Yeah, so he was telling me he might go to Columbus. He was also thinking about Dayton.
Dad: But he's engaged!
We were watching a hockey game, and I had a stack of post-it notes I was messing around with. I plucked one off and stuck it over his eye. Then I said: "Now you can't tell how far away the game is. You don't know if they're playing in Winnipeg or in Columbus."
Columbus
ColumBUS
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