Why don’t crabs and lobsters donate to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corvette-Ronnie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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Gatorade should run some kind of charity promotion where they raise funds to help preserve endangered species of alligator.

Gator-aid.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funkbuster_G
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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I won $6million in the lottery and have decided to donate a quarter of it to charity....

I now have $5.999,999,75c left.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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why don't oysters give to charity?

because they're shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_crozier
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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What was the mental health hospital's primary charity program?

It was fund a mental

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/atharvanaik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I won a $1million in the lottery last night and have decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have 999.999.75 left.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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I just received a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my old clothes to the starving people around the world...

I told them, "Anyone who fits into my clothes, certainly isn't starving. "

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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I donated almost 50.000$ to a charity for mute children

They didn’t even say β€œThank you”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenex2005
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Every day I give a few cents to charity.

I like making small change.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emu_on_the_Loose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Walking through East London, I asked my friend: β€œWhy is there a bull in that charity shop?”

He replied, β€œThat’s an Ox, fam”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eormada
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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I built a business where all proceeds went to Charity.

But I ended up in jail because apparently not telling them my daughter’s name is Charity was a big no no.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Since quarantine started, I’ve decided to dedicate myself to giving to Charity.

I’m pretty sure that’s not her real name but she sure does like those dollar bills.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthLukas71
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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I'm planning a charity event for people who can't ejaculate.

Just let me know if you can't come.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyperGameGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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What kind of lemon performs charity work?

Lemon aid.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrTomatoHead
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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Do you guys know about that dumb "Sore Us" marathon for charity?

You're supposed to run until you can't anymore or something like that...? I was thinking of trying one out but honestly I don't know how good I'd do I'm an awful runner...

My friend Tyrell tried one last year and said it was the hardest thing he'd ever done...

I still can't believe Tyrannosaurus

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DracoREXXX
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had $1,000,000, I’d donate a quarter of it to charity.

Then I’d have $999,999.75.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DropTopTyler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
There has been some good news today as a plus-size clairvoyant announces they are releasing a charity calendar, with pictures of them in their underwear.

Fans of the psychic say that they are looking forward to seeing a large medium in smalls.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megamouth2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I won a million dollars playing the lottery and donated a quarter of it to my favorite charity.

What should I do with the remaining $999,999.75?

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skol_vkings
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the groundhog donate so much to charity?

He was Phil-anthropist.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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A charity that looks after dogs...

B-I-NGO

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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I donated chairs to a charity.

I guess it's a chairity.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDesaj2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t the lobster give to charity?

Because he’s shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jthornborrow21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
At an auction at a Tourette's syndrome charity, I won a bid for an origami sculpture of scissors made by Dwayne Johnson. To emphasize the charity's cause, he replaced a bad word with a family-friendly word on his origami scissors.

The Rock's paper scissors said "Shoot."

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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I am starting a charity to teach short people maths.

It’s called making the little things count.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hana-Chi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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I just donated 1000$ to a blind children charity

not like the children are going to see any of it

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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What do you call donating to a trans charity?

A trans-action!

If you want to this is a link to a trans health hotline https://www.translifeline.org/

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nandoah
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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Can I claim my Indian Bread company as a charity tax deduction?

It’s a Naan Profit Organization.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Korwiin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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I’m working for a charity that provides support for elderly grapes

My job is in raisin awareness.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andi-amo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I won a unique item at the Celebrity Origami charity auction.

The auction's goal was to raise money for Tourette syndrome research by selling origami figures made by famous celebrities. To highlight the purpose of the auction, the organization in charge asked all participating celebs to write a replacement of a naughty four-letter word most closely associated with the disorder.

For example, George Clooney's origami penguin said Fudge instead of the F-word.

Margot Robbie's paper flower said Beach instead of the B-word.

I bid on the origami made by Dwayne Johnson.

The Rock's paper scissors said Shoot.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don’t crabs give to charity?

Because they are shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bon-Echo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t crabs give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t crabs give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't oysters give to charity?

Because they're shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dooderdoot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't oysters donate to charity?

Because they're shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?

Because they’re shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-Have-No-Mods
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don't crabs give to charity?

Because they're shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guitnut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2016
🚨︎ report
Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a charity to teach short people maths.

It's all about making the little things count.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/n00bzit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don't crabs give to charity?

Because they're shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yuweiru
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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