Charity Donation Puns

I call it "Change You Can Bereive In".

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he never gave me a single dime!

Free Drilly

Because they’re shellfish.

I now have $5.999,999,75c left.

I now have 999.999.75 left.

I told them, "Anyone who fits into my clothes, certainly isn't starving. "

They didn’t even say “Thank you”

Then I’d have $999,999.75.

Because they're shellfish

What should I do with the remaining $999,999.75?

He was Phil-anthropist.

I guess it's a chairity.

not like the children are going to see any of it

Now I'm an organ donor

They were two shellfish

They're shellfish penny pinchers.

Because they're stingy.

"Time to go Goodwill hunting."

http://imgur.com/z0TOWbg

As the title says, I need a pun that involves two unlikely friends. Knives and Charity/donations.

Any help would be appreciated!

Knife to be here in this community

• Would you like to donate to my charity. Said the bird when landing on a tree above their heads

• What is it called? asked the man.

The bird looked them straight in the eyes and cawed four times.

The man and woman were very confused until the bird said.

• It's four good caws.

"would you like to donate to my charity?" The woman replied, "Sure! What's it called?" The crow said, "CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW!" The woman probed, "Why is it called that?" The crow replied, "Enough with all these questions! It's four good caws."

Once upon a time, there was a little red man who lived in a little red house and lived a happy little red life

One day, the Little Red Man decided to take a shower. while he was showering, he heard a little red knock on his little red door echo through his little red halls and into his little red ear. He got out of the little red shower and wrapped a little red towel around his little red waist and went to the door

At the door was an little old lady who was doorknocking for charity. just as he was making a donation,a breeze went by and the little red man's little red towel blew off his little red waist. The little old lady was shocked at his sudden exposure and ran across the road. as she was half way across, she was hit by a semi-trailer.

The moral of the story is: Don't cross The Road when The Little Red Man is Flashing.

talking to my dad about aftermath of Paul Walker's death

ME: I heard his family is making a donation to his disaster relief charity.

DAD: Not if I can help it.

ME: What do you mean?

DAD: I've been using his ATM card for some extra cash.

ME: Bull. You would need to know his PIN number.

DAD: I do. It's 0-2-60

Because they’re shellfish

Because they're shellfish!

Then I’d have $999,999.75.