Camembert.
There in mine now
Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.
They found himalayan in the ice..
The earthquake caused a rift in my marriage.
A minor.
A meanderthal
There once was this fella was born with a silver screw in his belly button. His parents, and later himself, searched far and wide trying to find someone that knew how this happened and how to remove it. As he grew older he cared less and less about the "how" and more about the removal. One day in his never-ending search he encountered a wizened woman who said that she knew of a place where you could go and a mysterious force would be able to remove the screw. But, before she provided the location she asked him if this was REALLY something he wanted done and if he knew all the consequences of his desire. The man hastily said that he was 10000% sure and more than well informed of the consequences. So, she gave him the location of the cave and the instructions on how to gain the help of the mysterious force. He was to go to the cave and sleep nude in the cave over night and by the morning his request would be fulfilled. He made his way to the spot with all due haste and followed the instructions to the letter. He did this and fell into a sound sleep. During the night a heavy fog rolled into the cave and a shining silver screwdriver floated into the cave with it. It floated down to the man and gently removed the screw. When the man woke up in the morning and saw the screw on the ground beside him he quickly reached down and felt his belly button. The screw was gone! He sprung up with great joy but the minute he landed after his leap of joy his butt fell off. He froze in horror and started to scream "Why did my butt fall off?" over and over.
The moral of the story is "Don't mess with things you don't understand or you will lose your butt."
I didn’t want to go, but eventually I caved.
...and ends up on the Island of Trid. The people there are starving and explain to the pastor that it’s because whenever they try to harvest the fruit at the top of the mountain, the nasty giant comes out of his cave and boots them all back down the hill. This infuriates the pastor who then declares that tomorrow he will join them on their next attempt. The next day they all march up the mountain together, and sure enough, out comes the giant who proceeds to kick all of the locals back down the hill leaving only the new guy to gather fruit at his leisure. Finally, he stops and asks the giant, “Well, aren’t you going to knock me off the mountain?”. Shaking his head, the giant says, “Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids”.
Everyone made it out, it was just a miner inconvenience.
Finally, I caved in.
Shoot the lion, drink the beer and drive away in the jaguar.
A stala-fight.
You've grotto be kidding me.
Suddenly the dinosaur comes charging at them and they both flee. The first shouts "what kind of dinosaur IS that?" The other responds "Hemustasaurus"
They have a boring job.
"You see that steeple on that church over there? Yeah, I hit it."
Stalagtights.
Density
Echolocation, echolocation, echolocation.
Dad - "How did they get the coach down there?"
A hikiko-moray.
A Meanderthal.
After it was over, he asked me what I thought.
I looked at him and sighed, "I don't know. Everyone raved about it but to be honest, it really though that it was ogre rated."
He invited me to go explore a cave with him, but it seemed dangerous so I declined. Months later he planned another caving expedition and invited me again, but again I said no. Half a year later, he planned another trip, but he insisted that I join him. He spent a great deal of time explaining the safety equipment and measures used, and I reluctantly changed my mind and agreed to go with him. I finally caved
He got out and said "I'm not happy"
I said "Well which one are you then ?"
I'm watching it with her, and halfway through the movie something clicks in my head.
Me: "Holy shit I just got it,this is a bunny cop movie"
GF: ......
ME:" instead of a buddy cop movie"
And then she proceeded to beat me
In a cave, man.
That's a Moray
He made a grave mistake.
...I finally caved.
I'm playing an eel in an upcoming musical, and I want to impress my castmates with some electrifying eel puns.
Examples: •"I just don't feel that spark between us anymore" •"When you're down by the sea and an eel bites your knee, that's a Moray" •"It's quite shocking, I know"
Camembert! Camembert!
They said it was illegal to give alcohol to miners
