I only know a whittle.
Oh, that hewn manatee!
Sorry to squash your enthusiasm
He was charged with manufacturing crystal math.
He says, “I’m applying the turn-a-cut!”
He started carving it, then got to the legs. He chopped one off and loudly said 'AHA! YOUR GOING NOWHERE NOW!'
Sigh.
. . . so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
My niece was carving a piece of wood for a project she's doing. She said to me, "This is difficult. I bet wood carvers' hands must be in pain all the time."
I told her, "It doesn't hurt bad, only a whittle." She was not amused.
Not much. Just a whittle.
She came home to tell us about her project; a bear. I asked how she did, she says she forgot to do the front paws of the bear. I told her to ask for the project back to fix it because...
She had the right to arm bears.
Actual dad joke I told.
Because you start with a bigger piece of wood, and you make it whittler.
Dad: When you are carving a Jack O' Lantern, and you make a mistake. How do you fix it?
Me: Sigh What's the punchline?
Dad: You use a pumpkin patch! Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck!
(He actually said it like that.)
It was a relief when I finished.
We're making jack o'lanterns and my mom is working on something pretty ambitious (I think it's a leaf). I say something about it, and my dad gets a big grin on his face and comments,
"Boys, your mom is Vincent van Gourd!"
Wife: "These pumpkins don't have many seeds in them" Me: "That's because they are good pumpkins" Wife: "????" Me: "They aren't seedy" Wife: eyeroll
my dad points and says "wow, looks like business is dead"
When I was growing up and transitioning from baby to crooked adult teeth, my dad used to sit me down and tell me to smile. He would then pretend to carve the pumpkin's smile to look like mine and tell me how perfectly scary it was.
