My girlfriend grabbed a hand full of coins and slapped me in the face.

About time she slapped some cents into me.

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pollyparkinson
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to organize my change by putting each coin into their respective cage, but someone stole all the nickles!

Now I have a nickleless cage...

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Einetio
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
β€ͺWhat did the 25-cent coins do after a round of flipping?‬

They retired to their separate quarters‬

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s this coin wrapper that can roll any coin: pennies, nickels, dimes etc. Just roll it up to a marked spot and voila, a perfect roll.

My favorite wrapper is the fifty cent piece

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
So I was rolling coins from my tip money and placing the rolled up sleeves on each other forming a kind of pyramid shape:

My sister walks up to me and asks: β€œAre you creating a pyramid scheme?”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ColinHenrichon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I felt bad for eating my Jewish friend's coin shaped chocolate candy he had purchased to given his children at Hanukkah...

Pangs of gelt haunt me to this day!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
It shouldn't be Reddit coins

It should be Creddits

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Roktyv
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Took me awhile, but I was finally able to get my hands in some Iranian money for my coin collection!

I'm rial-ly developing a respectable collection, lemme tell ya!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The US Government is so broke they’re going to start minting coins with negative value.

I suspect they’ll use antimony.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Police have been trying to catch a person stealing people's coins out of their pockets

But so far no change

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/korruption77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins.

I was about to run inside and tell my wife about it, and then I remembered why I was digging in our garden

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I completely understand coin minters

In fact, they've always made perfect cents.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rmlrmlchess
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I flipped a coin 15 times and it always landed on tails.

I'm starting to think that it's more than just a coin-cidence.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/89odev
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend keeps his rare coin collection where it could easily be stolen.

I mean, he has no common cents.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RAconsensualPE
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Without coins, the US currency would be utter non-cents
πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mahlerguy2000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Instead of a swear jar I have a pessimism jar, every time I have a negative thought I put a coin in.

It’s currently half empty

πŸ‘︎ 117
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you have any lots of coins laying around?

Because my old man always said I needed some cents, and a dime like you could be the change I need.

-this line has only ever gotten me chuckles :,)

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fucked_a_bird
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a 1 cent coin in Italy?

A penne

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drmarvel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
When a coin goes from Russia to the USA seeking asylum it is Metal Defecting.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I put my phone under my pillow last night and went to sleep. When I woke up it was gone and a pound coin was in its place

Damn that Bluetooth Fairy

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Im gonna start making batting cage business that only accepts pennies, dimes,quarters, half dollars, and dollar coins

Gonna call it Nickel-less Cage

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Coins find me completely insufferable

I'm trying to change

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when a coin lands on its side?

I can't make heads or tails of it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I once met a guy who didn’t like getting coins back from transactions.

I guess he has a cent sensitivity.

FYI: I thought of this joke last night at work, so to me it’s OC but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone else thought of it before me. Either way I figured I’d share it, if someone posted it before me feel free to link it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vipertho
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Just ate a coin

It was kind of minty

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SherpaBoye
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My son asked me to exchange a bunch of American coins I collected as a kid.

How dare he? They have centimental value.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xbasicgirlx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I threw my coin into the wishing fountain and wished for lots of coins...

Turns out wishes just don't come true, sometimes you have to get your feet wet

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/linkkoh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Every machine in the coin factory broke down all of a sudden without explanation!

It just doesn't make any cents!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My father always stored his coin collection in Altoids tins...

He claimed it kept them in mint condition

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Ardmore
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I learned how coin production works.

It made a lot of cents to me.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My son swallowed some coins and was taken to hospital...

When I asked how he was, the nurse said "No change yet."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the man have a moment of clarity after he bought a coin maker?

Because it all made cents now.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JiveTheTurkey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
When he was a kid, my son used to swallow coins for no apparent reason.

I’ve definitely seen some change in him.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the coin factory the other day

It was nice. Everything there made cents.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Even with new types of currency we still carry coins which have been around for ever.

In a cents, money never changes

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyFoxAlchemy0913
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate when homeless people shake their coin cups at me.

I get it you have more money than me... There's no reason to brag about it.

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fukhed69
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I decided to withdraw all my money in my bank account into coins

I really need some change in my life

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBritishSnob
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I usually keep coins in my wallet

Sometimes I put it in my pocket to change things up

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sexypinochet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone posted a picture of a dollar on a subreddit obout coins.

The post got centsored.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NINJAQKk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that the guy who invented bit coins was given a title by the queen?

He then killed Superman because was a crypto knight.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call coins flying through the air?

The winds of change.

πŸ‘︎ 542
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FriskySour
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a coin that’s in peril?

A dime-sel in distress!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you know if a coin is fresh?

You can still smell the mint

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ServalSpots
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I don't understand how my new coin machine works.

It just doesn't make cents.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nightievv
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I lost a gold coin in Skyrim, so I went to see a doctor.

He said I had a deviated Septim.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Adog311
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the coin maker say about his penny after he dropped it?

It just a little tender

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bcowburn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the Buddha start pulling coins out of his butt?

Because change comes from within.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend told me he’s been eating coins and that I should try it too.

He said it really β€œchanged” his life.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TGF_messiah
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Coin tosses are a real head turner.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you ever hear the joke about the broken coin press?

It didn't make any cents.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
🚨︎ report
They just reloaded the coin change machine, but it won’t dispense coins..

It doesn’t make any cents.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drumad_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I found a strange old coin with the faces worn away

I can't make heads or tails of it

πŸ‘︎ 167
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad, what is that kid doing ? Why is he dressed like a coin ?

It's Halloween, boy. He's just shilling.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arklaw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Some people have commented that I smell like coins

I tell them it's my natural cent

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LEMILFURFAN
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I hated it when the new pound coin came out...

But then again, I never really liked change

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shippy10_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
We were talking about cost of making coins.

Me: β€œtakes about 7 cents to make a nickel and 2 cents to make a penny”

Dad: β€œthat don’t make no cents”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AbysmalVixen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are there no rare coins anymore?

Well it's just common cents really...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BD8D
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2017
🚨︎ report
The cashier gave me some coins back after I gave her the exact amount.

I looked at her confused with the coins in my hand and said,

"I paid the exact total. This makes no cents."

πŸ‘︎ 261
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2015
🚨︎ report
We're getting a new pound coin in the UK soon, but I hate it...

I don't like change.

πŸ‘︎ 143
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bfreak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2015
🚨︎ report
I have 2 coins in my hand with a total value of 6 cents, and one of the coins isn't a nickel.

The other one is.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
🚨︎ report
Meeting a dollar around the corner is a coin-cidence
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pungunner98
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
🚨︎ report
A friend once told me he ingested a large amount of counterfeit coins to avoid being caught with them...

he was full of non-cents.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Floodlight
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2015
🚨︎ report
A campsite was forced to freeze its operations for a whole day when a spiteful customer paid his entire expenses in 5 cent coins.

The campsite reports that it is the first time that they've encountered such a tent nickel difficulty.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
🚨︎ report
My mother asked me to pick up chocolate coins for the kids on the way to her Hanukkah party. When the store on my route didn't have any and I showed up with regular chocolate, she started crying and begged me to go back out to a different store.

I yelled, "No mom! I'm so sick of your gelt trips!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
🚨︎ report
If every coin has a job, what would be the penny's job?

An Accountant, because every penny counts.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maxcaliburx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
🚨︎ report
I'm a coin collector going to a coin show this weekend

I really hope they don't nickel and dime me.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tballs51
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2016
🚨︎ report
I had spilled lotion on some coins and was rinsing them off...

Roommate: what are you doing?

Me: money laundering.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elyezabeth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
🚨︎ report
My boss's dad used to carry a coin with T-U-I-T around the outer edge.

When ever he asked someone when they were going to get something done and they replied with "When I get around to it."

He would hand them the coin.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CANIBALFOODFITE
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2015
🚨︎ report
I like the $1 coin. It makes a lot of sense.

100 of them.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/killerabbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2014
🚨︎ report
Friend was telling me about a really old coin he bought...

'I coin see that you're pretty excited about it'

I don't think he likes me anymore...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mehta23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2014
🚨︎ report
Every time I find cash or coins in the washing machine

I hope I don't get in trouble for money laundering

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bogusjimmy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Got me goodβ€”What do you call the guy who got away with counterfeiting coins for over a decade?

Long Con Silver.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Audiophial
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2013
🚨︎ report
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins and was about to run straight home to tell my wife

Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uglyric
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The coin machine at the factory stopped working

It didn’t make any cents

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/getrektboii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
🚨︎ report
My son used to keep swallowing coins when he was a kid.

I’ve definitely seen some change in him.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My son used to swallow coins pretty regularly when he was a child.

I’ve definitely seen some change in him.

πŸ‘︎ 192
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My son used to swallow coins when he was younger, but doesn’t do that anymore.

I’ve definitely seen some change in him.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
The coin machine in the factory stopped working

It made no cents

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/getrektboii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I don’t like the new pound coin.

But then again, I don’t like change.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zodiia123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report

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