My girlfriend grabbed a hand full of coins and slapped me in the face.
About time she slapped some cents into me.
I used to organize my change by putting each coin into their respective cage, but someone stole all the nickles!
Now I have a nickleless cage...
What did the 25-cent coins do after a round of flipping?
They retired to their separate quarters
There’s this coin wrapper that can roll any coin: pennies, nickels, dimes etc. Just roll it up to a marked spot and voila, a perfect roll.
My favorite wrapper is the fifty cent piece
So I was rolling coins from my tip money and placing the rolled up sleeves on each other forming a kind of pyramid shape:
My sister walks up to me and asks: “Are you creating a pyramid scheme?”
I felt bad for eating my Jewish friend's coin shaped chocolate candy he had purchased to given his children at Hanukkah...
Pangs of gelt haunt me to this day!
It shouldn't be Reddit coins
Took me awhile, but I was finally able to get my hands in some Iranian money for my coin collection!
I'm rial-ly developing a respectable collection, lemme tell ya!
The US Government is so broke they’re going to start minting coins with negative value.
I suspect they’ll use antimony.
Police have been trying to catch a person stealing people's coins out of their pockets
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins.
I was about to run inside and tell my wife about it, and then I remembered why I was digging in our garden
I completely understand coin minters
In fact, they've always made perfect cents.
I flipped a coin 15 times and it always landed on tails.
I'm starting to think that it's more than just a coin-cidence.
My friend keeps his rare coin collection where it could easily be stolen.
I mean, he has no common cents.
Without coins, the US currency would be utter non-cents
Instead of a swear jar I have a pessimism jar, every time I have a negative thought I put a coin in.
It’s currently half empty
Do you have any lots of coins laying around?
Because my old man always said I needed some cents, and a dime like you could be the change I need.
-this line has only ever gotten me chuckles :,)
What do you call a 1 cent coin in Italy?
When a coin goes from Russia to the USA seeking asylum it is Metal Defecting.
I put my phone under my pillow last night and went to sleep. When I woke up it was gone and a pound coin was in its place
Damn that Bluetooth Fairy
Im gonna start making batting cage business that only accepts pennies, dimes,quarters, half dollars, and dollar coins
Gonna call it Nickel-less Cage
Coins find me completely insufferable
What happens when a coin lands on its side?
I can't make heads or tails of it.
I once met a guy who didn’t like getting coins back from transactions.
I guess he has a cent sensitivity.
FYI: I thought of this joke last night at work, so to me it’s OC but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone else thought of it before me. Either way I figured I’d share it, if someone posted it before me feel free to link it.
My son asked me to exchange a bunch of American coins I collected as a kid.
How dare he? They have centimental value.
I threw my coin into the wishing fountain and wished for lots of coins...
Turns out wishes just don't come true, sometimes you have to get your feet wet
Every machine in the coin factory broke down all of a sudden without explanation!
It just doesn't make any cents!
My father always stored his coin collection in Altoids tins...
He claimed it kept them in mint condition
Today I learned how coin production works.
It made a lot of cents to me.
My son swallowed some coins and was taken to hospital...
When I asked how he was, the nurse said "No change yet."
Why did the man have a moment of clarity after he bought a coin maker?
Because it all made cents now.
When he was a kid, my son used to swallow coins for no apparent reason.
I’ve definitely seen some change in him.
I went to the coin factory the other day
It was nice. Everything there made cents.
Even with new types of currency we still carry coins which have been around for ever.
In a cents, money never changes
I hate when homeless people shake their coin cups at me.
I get it you have more money than me... There's no reason to brag about it.
I decided to withdraw all my money in my bank account into coins
I really need some change in my life
I usually keep coins in my wallet
Sometimes I put it in my pocket to change things up
Someone posted a picture of a dollar on a subreddit obout coins.
Did you hear that the guy who invented bit coins was given a title by the queen?
He then killed Superman because was a crypto knight.
What do you call coins flying through the air?
What do you call a coin that’s in peril?
How do you know if a coin is fresh?
You can still smell the mint
I don't understand how my new coin machine works.
It just doesn't make cents.
I lost a gold coin in Skyrim, so I went to see a doctor.
He said I had a deviated Septim.
What did the coin maker say about his penny after he dropped it?
Why did the Buddha start pulling coins out of his butt?
Because change comes from within.
My friend told me he’s been eating coins and that I should try it too.
He said it really “changed” his life.
Coin tosses are a real head turner.
Did you ever hear the joke about the broken coin press?
It didn't make any cents.
They just reloaded the coin change machine, but it won’t dispense coins..
It doesn’t make any cents.
I found a strange old coin with the faces worn away
I can't make heads or tails of it
Dad, what is that kid doing ? Why is he dressed like a coin ?
It's Halloween, boy. He's just shilling.
Some people have commented that I smell like coins
I tell them it's my natural cent
I hated it when the new pound coin came out...
But then again, I never really liked change
We were talking about cost of making coins.
Me: “takes about 7 cents to make a nickel and 2 cents to make a penny”
Dad: “that don’t make no cents”
Why are there no rare coins anymore?
Well it's just common cents really...
The cashier gave me some coins back after I gave her the exact amount.
I looked at her confused with the coins in my hand and said,
"I paid the exact total. This makes no cents."
We're getting a new pound coin in the UK soon, but I hate it...
I have 2 coins in my hand with a total value of 6 cents, and one of the coins isn't a nickel.
Meeting a dollar around the corner is a coin-cidence
A friend once told me he ingested a large amount of counterfeit coins to avoid being caught with them...
he was full of non-cents.
A campsite was forced to freeze its operations for a whole day when a spiteful customer paid his entire expenses in 5 cent coins.
The campsite reports that it is the first time that they've encountered such a tent nickel difficulty.
My mother asked me to pick up chocolate coins for the kids on the way to her Hanukkah party. When the store on my route didn't have any and I showed up with regular chocolate, she started crying and begged me to go back out to a different store.
I yelled, "No mom! I'm so sick of your gelt trips!"
If every coin has a job, what would be the penny's job?
An Accountant, because every penny counts.
I'm a coin collector going to a coin show this weekend
I really hope they don't nickel and dime me.
I had spilled lotion on some coins and was rinsing them off...
Roommate: what are you doing?
Me: money laundering.
My boss's dad used to carry a coin with T-U-I-T around the outer edge.
When ever he asked someone when they were going to get something done and they replied with "When I get around to it."
He would hand them the coin.
I like the $1 coin. It makes a lot of sense.
Friend was telling me about a really old coin he bought...
'I coin see that you're pretty excited about it'
I don't think he likes me anymore...
Every time I find cash or coins in the washing machine
I hope I don't get in trouble for money laundering
Got me good—What do you call the guy who got away with counterfeiting coins for over a decade?
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins and was about to run straight home to tell my wife
Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.
The coin machine at the factory stopped working
My son used to keep swallowing coins when he was a kid.
I’ve definitely seen some change in him.
My son used to swallow coins pretty regularly when he was a child.
I’ve definitely seen some change in him.
My son used to swallow coins when he was younger, but doesn’t do that anymore.
I’ve definitely seen some change in him.
The coin machine in the factory stopped working
I don’t like the new pound coin.
But then again, I don’t like change.
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