Ima start spelling weed oui’d cos I can’t say no to it
πŸ‘︎ 378
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shpam-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Just had my first day on the job as a co-pilot of the Millenium falcon...

It went well but I made some Wookiee mistakes.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cozykush44
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
What did sine and cos say to each other?

Nothing. They just waved.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
We know the Panama has had its problems, and the Suez had that ship stuck recently, but my co-worker must know of another problematic waterway. Every day he yells out...

β€˜Far Canal. I hate this place’.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I once got into an argument with a co-worker, who slammed the door so hard when he left, it broke the latch.

Which sucked, because I thought we needed the closure...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vin135mm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked my co-worker, "Bro, you want this pamphlet?"

He said, "Brochure."

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
My co-workers and I would suffer from wrist pain when we would drive through a mountain on our way to work together

We were diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
None of my Co-workers are left handed.

We get along all right.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ffjuice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a co-worker who claimed for years that he hates Christmas. He finally broke down and told me he secretly loves it, he just has a reputation to maintain.

He finally came out of the Santa Claus-et.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barthm1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most co-dependent of all the pastas?

Cannelloni

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PiousZenLufa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A roofer was decapitated today while telling a dirty joke to his co-worker

I'm not sure what the joke was, but somebody should get his head out of the gutter.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kcsmurf112
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My son and his co-worker are janitors who moved in together.

They’re broommates who sweep together.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
From my co worker: What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghostlyGary
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to convince one of my co workers to buy the first round of drinks after our shift...

He said no, but it was worth a shot.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingmanEXE
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I imagine when Microsoft's co-founder Mr.Gates gets a suit tailored, they must fit him perfectly.

They have to fit the Bill.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
As my impeccably dressed co-worker has aged, incontinence has set in.

He went from dapper Dan to diaper Dan.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
LPT: If you don't want to buy sandwiches to your co-workers, just buy them with mistakes: Other kind of bread, other size...

Sorry, wrong sub

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potato23860
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My co-worker Nicholas is rarely late for work meetings, but it often shows up within 2 minutes of the meeting start time

I guess he likes to show up in the nick of time.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Soccer cos play
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DueTry9
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Restaurant in Loveland, CO
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cmahlen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Gave my co-worker a can and asked him to open it. After he opened it I said that he was a can opener.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Co-worker got a new drill and another co-worker responded, "Oh man, he's got a gun!"

The followed response, "Guys calm down, it's just a drill."

πŸ‘︎ 154
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LilPeabnut
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
At the company picnic, my co-worker said he had some juicy gossip. He loaded up his plate but tripped on the way to my table...

He spilled the beans!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A pregnant co-worker walked into the office the other day. I took a look at her baby bump and said β€œit’s becoming apparent that you’re becoming a parent”.

Stay safe everyone and try to keep smiling

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ascott1963
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What starts with a CO ends with a CK and hurts when you don’t expect it?

A comeback

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ennogera
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Last year I made a video with my co workers.

I made Covid 19

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the group of hulk cos-players at comic con?

They held a challenge to see how could get angrier then them.

It was out-rage-us!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jinko387
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My co workers are like my Christmas lights...

Half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t that bright.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/g00secs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
🚨︎ report
My co-worker told me The Weekend is coming to Vancouver this year.

I told her the weekend comes to Vancouver every 5 days.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedubya
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Being a co-driver can really get tiresome
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OuterMe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I teach elementary special Ed, and my co-teacher and I joke back and forth all day. This is our most recent best.

Co-teacher: "Students name" came in and said he lost his throat.

Me: Oh no! Did he check where he last remembered having it?

Co-teacher: He couldn't say.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/penigmatic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My co-worker asked me if I like Eminem...

I said "no, I'm more of a Skittles guy."

"No I'm talking about the rapper."

"Why would I want to eat the wrapper?" I asked.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/333iamhalfevil
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I need help! I am co-captain of a team to raise money for cancer. My team needs a name. I need to mix some element of cancer with Alice in Wonderland. I need a pun, and I figured this subreddit is the best place to go. Thanks
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ethanfp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
🚨︎ report
COS thats a pun
πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackRelish12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel.

I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Golden Shower Bath and Kitchen Co.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wattayagonnado
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Cos why not?
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CriticalGeode
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Co-worker makes these, thought you guys would enjoy them
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMurse
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Seen in Loveland, CO
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mexican_viking13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Are you a surd cos you're irrational
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jusmune_
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A co-worker told be that seagulls will explode if you feed them Akka-seltzer

I told him he’s just gullible.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewGlinski
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Got a co-worker with this one as he was heading home after a 24hr shift.

I work in the investigations section of a military police department, and aside from our normal office hours, we have 24hr shifts that cycle through the office, so that there's an investigator present and on-duty 24/7/365.

My co-worker was wrapping up some paperwork this morning, and coming off of his 24 hr shift, and almost dead to the world. At the time, a pair of other investigators in my office were discussing some case that had happened a day or two prior that involved an emancipated juvenile.

I was just logging into my workstation to check my e-mail and I turned to my co-worker and asked, "Hey, so when a juvenile gets emancipated, and he announces it - proclaims it, if you will - what would they call that?"

He stares at me with a blank, uncomprehending expression and I continue, "An emancipation...proclamation? Maybe?"

The annoyed groans of someone who's been up for 24 hours are so satisfying.

πŸ‘︎ 847
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Droidball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2015
🚨︎ report
Guys beware of sinΒ²x +cosΒ²x if you see it in your house

After all, it can commit IDENTITY theft

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YOUmang
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report

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