I ran out of material for the doll I was making and only had breathe mints left for the feet.

He had Tic Tac toes

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chemist612
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you been to an apple store? You can't breathe in there.

There's no Windows.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kremata
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked some clams to help me move but all they wanted to do was sit there and breathe seawater.

I told them they were just being shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My 8yr old daughter got me with "I can breathe under water"

She filled a cup of water placed it on her head and began to violently and rapidly breathe in and out. The force is strong with her.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theevildave
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Fun fact: You can’t breathe correctly while smiling

Just kidding, made you smile :)

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Etheranad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What External Organ does an Owl use to Breathe?

Who Knows.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parv05
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do German meat lovers breathe?

Hamburg-air

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovethedarknet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Sir, can you breathe?

No, but my lung can, sir.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/savedbytheb3l1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe.
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sk0503
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the Indian struggling to breathe?

Because he was Basmatic.

My wife hates this joke, so I make sure to tell it as much as I can.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
If we breathe oxygen during the day what do we breathe at night

Nightrogen

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swag-master9000
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know why it's easier to breathe when it's hailing?

It's just easier to inhail

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ironfist221
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pulmonologist who forgot how to breathe?

An oxymoron

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JetpackDinosaur
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Studies say it’s hard to breathe fast while your tongue is out

Good dog

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I believe it's wrong for humans to selectively breed dogs until their faces are smashed flat and they can't breathe normally.

Hugs not pugs.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wrethlig
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
🚨︎ report
There's an Indian restaurant nearby that always burns their bread. If you sit too close to the kitchen it can be hard to breathe.

Which is strange because it's the naan smoking section.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Choking on food and hardly able to breathe, I scream, "Someone, call me a doctor!"

Dad replies from the other room, "Are you sure son?!"
I say, "Yes, I'm choking!"
Dad: "If you say so. You're a doctor!"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coogzzz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2014
🚨︎ report

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