Complete blindside by the mom...

I was sitting next to my mother on Saturday and we were discussing our schedule for the event we were attending. Since neither of us could remember what we had signed up for, I decided to check the sent mail folder on my phone. As it turns out, I hadn't checked that folder since September of last year. My mother, who is a tad OCD about things being up to date, looked at me completely appalled:

Mom: You haven't checked your smell since September? Me: Wait, what? Mom: You know, your sent?

Needless to say, I was very proud once I got over the shock.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chipmm13
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 24 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife blindsided me this morning with this....

So I've been wanting to sell my motorcycle for a while but haven't gotten around to it.

While in the car this morning I saw a sign for a local shop that read "We buy used motorcycles." I pointed it out to her and she replies with, "if that's not a sign, I don't know what is."

I was so proud.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bobkirby12
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My girlfriends's dadjoke on computer specs completely blindsided us last night.

"I wonder if quad core or duo core matters much..."

"Well, Apple's have a single core, and they run fine."

*Cue groaning

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cofenn
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The first time they ever met, my dad blindsided my mom with this prophetic alphabet dad joke.

So my dad's name is Jay and my mom's name is Kay. The first time they were introduced, it was obvious their names were destined for dad joke immortality:

Mom's friend: Jay, this is my friend Kay! I thought you two should meet!

Mom: Hi.

Dad: Ya know, if we get married and have kids... we could name them Ellie, Emmie, and Opie. We could eat alphabet cereal for breakfast and alphabet soup for dinner! :) ;)

Mom: ..... uh..

30 years later and they did get married, and did get their "Emmie"! (my sister's name is Emily)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 47
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Egdirdle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 26 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Two vegans were travelling through a desert...

A few weeks into their journey, they ran out of food. Unable to find plants to eat, and after an entire day of discussion, they decided that if they found meat before plants, the would eat it.

A day later, in the distance, they saw a small tree. As they got closer, they saw that there were strips of perfectly cooked bacon hanging from the bare limbs.

The first vegan grew excited. "Look! It's a bacon tree! Food!" And with that, he took off running toward it.

The other vegan hung back, looking at it suspiciously. "No, wait!" he called. "That's not a bacon tree!"

"Sure it is! It's a bacon tree!" the first vegan yelled over his shoulder. When he reached the tree, he jumped, trying to reach the bacon from the lower branches, but before he could, a pair of wild boar darted out from behind the tree and skewered him on their tusks.

The other vegan shook his head. "I tried to tell you it wasn't a bacon tree. It was just a hambush..."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VA_DiagSexAddict
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why didn't the blind person get the joke?

It was an in-sight joke.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bart00szeq
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My girlfriend cheated on me with Stevie Wonder.

I got blindsided.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/murmurmermer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was diagnosed as colour blind today.

It really came out of the purple.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 69
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/camocase
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A blind man walks into a cafรจ

And then a table, and then a chair...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Jeremy_TAP
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I heard Paul was surprised on the road to Damascus

You could even say he was blindsided.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ParzivaI901
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.