It doesn't matter if you're black or white, or gay or straight

At the end of the day, it's night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Speedypanda4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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It doesn't matter if you're black, white, old, young, tall, short or even if you're from another country. It's what's INSIDE that counts!

I love you refrigerator!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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Michael Jackson said it didn't matter if "You're black or white"...

... Which has really helped my chess game.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johngreenink
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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🐻 Does a bear wear black or white socks? 🐻

🐾 Neither, he has bear feet! 🐾

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Letibleu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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Look. It doesn't matter if you're black, white, gay, straight, male or female.

We all taste the same to a grizzly bear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/astramonk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2015
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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess?

Because he can't decide whether he wants to be black or white

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mohammad5271
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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I was at the supermarket the other day.

After completing all my purchases in the shopping list, I walked over to the sweet section. At a glance with many choices of chocolates, I was puzzled at what to choose. After rounding it off to Black or white chocolate, I decided to walk away. I may not eat healthy all the time but sometimes OlivesMatter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MShafiSatthar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the check, he pulls out a gun, fires it several times, then walks out the door. If you don't get it look up "panda" in the dictionary ...

"Panda: A large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China; eats shoots and leaves."


Since today Merriam Webster even has the word dad joke:

"a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/istrebitjel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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He believed it for years!

As a kid I loved to get the sunday comics from the paper and read Calvin and Hobbes. I loved it so much my parents would get me the compilation books as gifts for birthdays and christmas. I always thought it was funny when Calvin would ask his dad how "x" works. One day my son when he was about 6 years old asked my why some TV shows were in black and white. Inspired by this calvin and hobbes comic where Calvin's dad explains why photos are black and white. http://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1993/ch930919.gif

I decided to do the same thing to my kid. I told him that the world was black and white back then and that things didn't start to become in color for decades later. I got a good chuckle out of it, but because he was so young, I didn't realize that he actually believed it. I soon forgot that I told him the world was black and white. When he was about 11 or 12, one day I got a call from my wife and she asked me, "Did you tell your son that the world used to be black and white?" I start laughing immediately and said yes! How did you know? She said because your son is writing an essay about how the world used to be black and white for school and he asked me what year the world became color. He believed that for like 6 years!

πŸ‘︎ 538
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimillett
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
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It was so cold outside yesterday, that we took a man into our home, out of the kindness of our hearts...

We felt so sorry for him because the poor guy was completely covered in snow, but this morning, he had just vanished!

Not a word, not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him!

The last straw was when I realized he had peed all over the living room floor!

That's the thanks we get for being good to people?!

I'm warning all of you to watch out for this man!

He is a heavy set, white guy, wearing nothing but a scarf.

He has a nose that looks like a carrot, two black eyes, and his arms are so skinny, they look like sticks.

Whatever you do, don't bring him into your house!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2017
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What did Michael Jackson say to his chess opponent?

β€œIt don’t matter if you’re black or white”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Macauley_Sulkin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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My First One on wife and daughter

The family and I stopped in at local store to buy some things. Driving home from store I hear an "oh no!" from the back seat. My daughter was holding a new bottle of bleach on her lap and I guess the lid wasn't on tight and it spilled a little on her skirt. We get home and she and my wife are working diligently on trying to prevent any stains from forming on her black skirt.

Me: "I hope you understand if I say I hope things don't turn out all white"

Wife: disgusted and odd stare in my direction.

Daughter: "What?"

They continued to ignore me the rest of the evening. I guess I failed; or maybe succeeded.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadof4girls
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2015
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My friend dad-joked me today

I was going to get together with a friend I hadn't seen in a while, and I wanted to go out to lunch sometime.

Me: "What does your schedule look like?"

His response? "It has white pages, with black ink, and a blue cover." He then chuckled heartily.

I fear he must have gotten his girlfriend pregnant or something.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Taterbawgs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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