Man, I'm thor.
He was a real pecker.
Biting into an apple and finding half of a worm in it!
Good thing he doesn’t eat it, that would be time consuming
Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill.
They caught him mid bite - it was an open and shut case.
.. They must be in school.
Grandpa: It's Saturday hun they're not in school
Grandma: Maybe there's Saturday school for fish
😂
But, it kinda grew on me...
I hid her teeth.
Fangst.
You muzzle 'em
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
It was only collecting dust.
That's a moray
A necktarine
A Civil Serpent.
that's a moray.
I asked if he has an Uncle Chew. He hasn't acknowledged me in half an hour. I can't stop laughing.
After he cast out the third time, I said "maybe you'll reel in a bass soon!"
I told them she was lack-toast intolerant.
Fly: "Ouch! Hey you must be pretty small to fit on my back. Are you a mite?"
Mite: "Yeah, as in I MIGHT bite you again hahaha"
Fly: "Wow.... That might be the worst joke I've ever heard"
Mite: "What can I say? I came up with it on the fly."
Don’t try to pet him, leave well enough alone.
How’s the fission, John?
They would just suck
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
Look at me!!! A man eating shark!!!
Chew chew
Mosque-itos.
My wife cracks open an empty fortune cookie and asks, “What kind of fortune cookie doesn’t have a fortune??” I chuckle between bites and say, “Call it a ... cookie.”
It really wasn’t funny but I haven’t laughed so hard in so long I ended up choking on my fried rice.
There are rumors of yet another Bill and Ted Sequel following the one in production. Reportedly, it will feature an older, toothless Keanu Reeves who is fighting with his insurance company.
Yeah, the working title: Billin' Ted for Bogus Dentures.
CrossFit.
After eating dinner with my parents and grandma, I got a bag of Little Bites Fudge Brownies from the pantry. My grandma asks me if they were from the box. I hold them up and point to the package and say “no they’re from the bag”
My dad and I lost it and started crying. Pray that we find it soon.
It was nail-biting
Ginger-bite-us
It really bugs me out
When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.
When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.
When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?
When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.
When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?
When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?
When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!
In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.
Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.
A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.
When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.
When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?
He was all bark and no bite
make sure its low cal
The teacher asks the class, “ there are five birds on a power line, and you shoot two of them, how many are left?”
Johnny replies, “ none the rest flew away when they heard the shot.”
The teacher says, “ no three are left but I like the way you think.”
So then Johnny says, “ let me ask you a question. There are three women eating ice cream, one licking it, one sucking it, and one biting it, which ones married?”
The teacher says, “ the one sucking?”
Johnny says, “ no the one with the wedding ring but I like the way you think.”
. Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,
“Nobody puts baby in a coroner”
He had to dine and dash.
If she bites you, she's a female.
Some might say I was in - hella-pain-yo
Biting an apple, and noticing that there's half a worm in it.
AIDS
Fly: "Hmmm. Whoever that was must be pretty small to fit on my back"
"Hey! What are you? A mite? "
Mite: " Yeah, as in I MIGHT have just bit you hahaha!"
Fly: "That's the worst pun I've ever heard."
Mite: "What can I say, I came up with it on the fly."
She wrote: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.”
Her husband texted back: “I’m on the toilet, please advise.”
