When a clogged drain killed his family, a clog far past the u-bend & far beyond justice, he knew had to take matters into his own filthy hands. He had to become...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zagmut
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I was left a package this morning. On the front in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND"

I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Mercedes bends
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big_Frank1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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At dinner tonight my mother in law asked why my sons knife had a bend in it

I told her it’s so he can cut corners

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CpnCodpiece
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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What do you call a con artist that can air bend?

An air con

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog, bends down as if to pet it, then picks it up by the tail and begins spinning it over his head. It created quite the ruckus, so an employee ran over and asked the man if he needed help.

"No thanks, just looking around."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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Yoga bends. Yoga stretches. Yoga realizes he’s completely out of shape.

Yoga pants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I would bend over backwards

to cure scoliosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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How are Rice Krispies able to bend so well without breaking?

Because they’re marsh-malleable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Dredex_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks

We really need to raise the bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Markvaldek
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

Doughnuts

(Sorry) (not sorry)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjfergue
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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What happens when the sunrise bends over?

You see the crack of dawn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Costabza
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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My friend always bends down when he's grocery shopping.

He suffers from low shelf esteem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johngreenink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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If Elbows Didn't Bend...

They would have no point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BitbyDeadBear
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
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I forgot that my U-bend was blocked when I went to the toilet this morning.

But I remembered when all came flooding back to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
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I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.

The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zephyrcoco
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I've been having some separation anxiety recently, and my Jamaican psychiatrist recommended that I bend an old pen around my finger as an exercise in self-assurance

Worked like a charm, I really feel like I am in de pen dent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrOontzOontz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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There's an envelope on my doorstep that says "do not bend"

I still haven't worked out how to pick it up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingerofblame
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
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My friend said he could bend his big toe.

I told him to do it.

He had his shoes on so he said:"I don't want to shoe off"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XXAligatorXx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
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What is yellow, a little bend and not a banana?

Nevertheless a banana!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ISoldMyGFforKarma
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2016
🚨︎ report
I'd bend over backwards to play limbo.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whelks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2013
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I wanted to see how a Mercedes bends. imgur.com/zJ17Fiv
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πŸ“…︎ May 20 2015
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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

Doughnuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/luckydragon88
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when the sunrise bends over

The crack of dawn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yaboi79
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.

We really need to raise the bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
People don't like having to bend over to get their drinks

We really need to raise the bar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PB_Monk3y
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.

We really need to raise the bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DevMoodiPro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report

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