Backseat Puns

I guess I was the pile driver

I turned up the music and said "Here are some car tunes for you, son".

He started to cry and my wife yelled at me.

Son: "What? Yes, totally!"

Dad (turns to look at mother tenderly): "I think she's a lovely and beautiful woman, a good wife to me, and a good mother to you."

Son: sigh.

"To hell, cause we couldn't change our ways."

Every time.

Or should I spread them apart

The girlfriend and I were in the car yesterday with her two young kids in the backseat. They were talking about what sort of "bender" they wanted to be.

Girl: "I would be an airbender!"

Boy: "I'm a waterbender."

Just then a truck passes us, driving a bit wildly.

Me: "That guy wants to be a fenderbender."

Cue evil glare from girlfriend.

Dad: because thats where she was concieved.

Son: thanks, dad!

Dad: no problem, backseat.

This happened last night. I laughed way too hard after it so figured I’d share. Driving with my three sons playing Simon says in the backseat.

Oldest son: “Simon says place your hand on someone else’s head” Me angrily interrupting: “NO we’re keeping our hands to ourselves” Oldest son: “awe cmon dad but we’re playing Simon says we’re not gonna fight” Me: “fine......Simon says keep your hands to yourself”

Talking about an upcoming trip, I mentioned that we should pack our son in the small suitcase and us in the medium one.

Without missing a beat, she says she felt he would be safer in the backseat.

For a woman who is so literal, I was so proud.

And we were getting close to a rest area so I asked the kids in the backseat "do you need to use the bathroom? Speak now or forever hold your pee!"

He turned to me and said, "Well grab a pencil and paper from the backseat. I don't know who cares how many trucks we see, but we'll write it down."

Telling my friends that my backseats recline.

"Hey you can lean back your chair... If you feel so inclined"

There was silence.

Driving down the street, see sign that says "Yukon Rd closed, take detour." Mother in law in backseat says "aahh, Yukon't drive there."

Groaning intensifies....

My wife and I were sitting in line at the drive-thru coffee shop this morning; my 2 year old son was in the backseat in his car seat.

There was a car in front of us, which we were waiting on to finish so we could move up and place our order. At that point, I noticed what kind of car it was. So I turned to my wife and said...

"We just have to wait for the Prelude to finish, and then we can go on."

A while back, my boyfriend and I drove down to his parents' house to go to the airport the next morning (it's about 3 hours from us, and they live near it).

About 5 o'clock the next morning, boyfriend, his father, and myself were all on our way to the airport (his dad was driving, dropping us off, we were both in the backseat), and we pass a billboard. It had pictures of dinosaurs all over it, and was advertising an animatronic dinosaur exhibit at the local zoo. BF's dad looks at it, chuckles and says "Must be an OLD sign." And then he laughs, and laughs, and laughs.. all to himself up there.

The best/worst part of this is that on the way to their house the day before, we passed that same billboard. Boyfriend made the same, exact joke. Looking at his dad is like looking into his future.

We had just parked after lunch and she wasn't budging to get out of the car so I got my camo blanket from the backseat and pretended I was sleeping.

She then proceeded to try and take a picture.

Her: I can't see you! referring to the sun making shadows around my face

Me: that's because I'm camouflaged!

I could hear her eyes rolling.

Taking a long road trip with our almost 2-year-old in the backseat. Shoe comes flying up into my wife's lap. This is a common occurrence.

Wife: "Why does he always take off his right shoe?"

Me: "Because he knows better than to take off the wrong one?"

She threw the shoe at my head. He laughed. It was worth it.

On a road trip whilst the baby in the backseat refuses to eat her beans Me: Dad, why won't she eat her beans? Dad: I guess she doesn't know where they've... b e a n

We were driving back from visiting the in-laws and our toddler was watching Frozen in the backseat. Probably the thousandth time we've seen or heard the movie.

Wife: Elsa's speaking voice sounds weird, it's like she is starting to get sick.

Me: So you think she's starting to get a cold?

As we see another animal crossing sign, he says "I NEVER see any animals!"

"Sure you do!" I said pointing at some road construction, "Look! A Bobcat!"

Que grumbles from the backseat.

As I was driving and receiving directions from my friend in the back seat while my other friend was in the front seat I knew he would be a great dad.

Me: so turn here?

Backseat: yep take a left on Nichols (the street)

Frontseat friend: well I would rather turn on Dimes....

Followed by his own brand of slight chuckle. It was marvelous