Six solid minutes of dad jokes by the king of awkward puns, Norm MacDonald. youtube.com/watch?v=jNi6T…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oddmanout
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2013
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I once went to a really awkward party in an igloo....

When I tried to break the ice, it only made things worse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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We had a bit of an awkward moment at home a while back...

My wife and I were doing a bit of roleplay in the bedroom. I had just handcuffed her to the bedhead when we heard one of the kids turning the door handle. I quickly threw the covers over the both of us and in walked my 7 year old son. He noticed the handcuffs, went really quiet and had this confused look on his face. After 15 seconds or so he asked my wife why she was handcuffed to the bed. She blushed and had to come up with a lie on the spot. She stammered out that daddy was just practicing with the handcuffs for his new job as a policeman and that my son should just go back into the lounge room and watch some TV.

A few weeks later I was asked to careers day at my son's school. My son stood up with me in front of the class and proudly announced his daddy was a policeman and that I lock up baddies. I didn't want to embarass him so I just played along. It turns out I was the one who was about to be embarassed. One of the kids asked if my son had ever seen me at work. My son said no but that he had seen me practicing using handcuffs on his mom. It went right over the kids heads but the teacher was very amused and couldn't stop giggling. I guess my wife and I would have been the hot topic in the staff room that day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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Do you know where I had my most awkward experience?

In Malaiseia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IFindYourPenis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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I met a midget once, our conversation was very awkward...

I’m not very good at small talk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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Awkward stage
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toe-knail
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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I figured out why I am so shy and awkward

A main part of my body is called the nervous system

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pokebandit91
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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My friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes. Now we call him Dr Awkward.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mefingers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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The seating columns at my church are going through a period of awkward changes...

***Pew***berty, in other words.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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I never knew making socially awkward comments was such an important part of playing golf...

But I always hearing the commentators saying "He needs to make this faux pas"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackoMabreda
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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That awkward moment when you tell a chemistry joke ,

and don't get a reaction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeossin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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I'm glad I didn't go with my awkward girlfriend for her plastic surgery consultation...

She picked her nose.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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I became a member of a cult, it’s a group of people that like to be awkward and challenge others.

It’s called the Diffi cult.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-E-Droflah
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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How would a socially awkward adult go about emerging from a lair of eternal loneliness?

(Asking for a friend)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texas_OT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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Awkward
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZaBaronDV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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I’m an awkward locksmith

I tend to lock eyes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MINION_GUN
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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Pretty awkward credit @no_sence_meme
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πŸ‘€︎ u/popped-corn-_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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Why are penguins socially awkward?

Because they can't break the ice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AzadBabu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
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If dogs responded to awkward situations it would be Big Woof
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Son_of_Godzilla
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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It’s going to be awkward if Mr and Mrs Burr...

...ever lose their son Tim in a forest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
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Dad's joke about a socially awkward friend

talking with parents after a gathering

Mum: I feel bad for John, he's so antisocial.

Dad: Yeah, he's like an eternal flame!

Me: Eternal flame? What?

Dad: He never goes out!

Mum and I burst out laughing while dad grins proudly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma112
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2014
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Just happened. An awkward silence followed until it finally clicked.

Friend: watching TV show called Sunday "I wonder when Sunday ends."

Me: "11:59 I think."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpaceLeopard
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2015
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What do you call the awkward quiet that comes with sending someone your location on WhatsApp and they do not respond?

Pin drop silence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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It's awkward hearing about your daughter's period problems, so when she came to me with them I told her...

Try using a comma, some times.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NamelessNutter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
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I broke it off with your mother while we were at a restaurant in Prague last week. I was worried it would be super awkward.

Fortunately, the restaurant was used to separate czechs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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All vegans are socially awkward

They don't like to meet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoOneLikesJack
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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I was in a really bad mood earlier because my wife accused me of always trying to turn everything in to a joke. After hours of awkward silence, she finally gave in and asked, "What's the matter!?"

I replied, "It's the basic structural component of the universe..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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What do you call a step dad who makes awkward comments in social situations?

A faux pa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wecandobetter13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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How do I ask an awkward question without embarrassing myself?

Asking for a friend...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
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I like awkward social situations...

They have a certain... je ne faux pas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vandorbelt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2017
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A word with the letters "wkw" in sequence would be awkward.
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2015
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I had that awkward, "How come your willy is so much bigger than mine?" conversation with my son in the bathroom this morning...

He said, "I don't know, dad, I'm only three!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
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I hear the Sex Ed teacher had to talk about masturbation. It could have been awkward...

...but I hear he handled it well.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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Awkward Waitress

The other day my girlfriend and I went out for lunch. The waitress came around to collect our empty plates, and asked if we had saved room for dessert. My girlfriend's reply was, "No, thank you, I'm stuffed."

The waitress said, apparently believing it was under her breath and inaudible, a squeaky, drawn-out, "Hiiiiii stuffffed ...." then walked away with our plates, and wearing a blank expression.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NobodyWhatsoever
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
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My socially awkward dad

The first time we met my brother's gf (now wife) she was talking about how many natural disasters there is in USA (brother's gf from Boston, we are from Denmark) and we have almost none here

and he continues the topic

Dad: "well... The only natural disaster in Denmark is 'mom' in a bathing suit.."

We laughed so hard (even 'mom') except the gf, she begins to cry and claims that danes are monsters.. Then he'd explain that this is the humor of Denmark, and she understood. Now she even makes this kind of jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mons388
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2013
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One night stands are so awkward.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Munky92
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2014
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Dad making Easter dinner awkward

We were talking about our cluttered houses and my Grandma said

"When Grandpa and I are dead and gone, feel free to get a dumpster."

And my Dad responds "Wouldn't caskets be more appropriate?"

Edit: formatting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doctor-Bear_PHD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2014
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My dad loves to make me feel awkward

I was showing my dad my new apartment via skype the other day. When I gave him a view of my room he comments, "Ahh look at that new work bench."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilencedPP7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
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My dad's favorite joke to "break the ice" makes it even more awkward.

Random person: Hi there, you alright?

Dad: No. I'm all left! HAHAHAHAHA

Random person: ...

me: facepalm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YBZ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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Awkward encounter at Lowes today

I was purchasing a Square and level, an older man comes up to me and says "Don't worry I think you're innocent............. because you're obviously framed." I had to think for a while and he explained it was funny because of the tools I had in my hand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diddy403
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2014
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This was one of the most awkward jokes my dad made.

Dad: "Son, if I wasn't a motherfucker, you wouldn't be around."

My mom was also in the room and was at a loss for words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foryourdingus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2014
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My dad always tries to tell jokes that always end up getting awkward

My dad and myself were kinda messing around punching each other and stuff.

Dad: You really think you could take me?

Me: I could blow your mind.

(Without hesitation)

Dad: (acts like he's hitting me in the groin) I'd blow your balls!

He jokes around all the time.. If I am around him for more than a few hours he is going to say something trying to joke like this.. usually making himself look like an idiot for the rest of the day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KVPD113
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2013
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Why was the penguin socially awkward?

He couldn’t break the ice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-AKindStranger-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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