Just happened. An awkward silence followed until it finally clicked.

Friend: watching TV show called Sunday "I wonder when Sunday ends."

Me: "11:59 I think."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpaceLeopard
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2015
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I was in a really bad mood earlier because my wife accused me of always trying to turn everything in to a joke. After hours of awkward silence, she finally gave in and asked, "What's the matter!?"

I replied, "It's the basic structural component of the universe..."

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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I took my 1 year old to the ER with the flu. As the nurse was taking her temperature rectally with the thermometer in the butt, he sympathized with her misery by saying β€œI know, it stinks.”

To which I responded β€œIt certainly will when you take it out.” I accepted the long awkward silence that followed as thunderous applause.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Khoalb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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Told my kids I'm allergic to prison...

My kids were discussing allergies at the dinner table. I told them I'm allergic to prison... because it always causes me to break out.

Usually my dad jokes are met with awkward silence. This one however got a few legit chuckles. 😁

πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aphaelion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
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A guy at the poker table was complaining about a sore throat and a couple minutes later says β€œ I hope there’s Halls back at the hotel”.

Me being half baked asked how else would he get to his room?

Awkward silence for about 5 seconds then the dealer starts laughing and then everyone else. I got complimented on my dad joke.

I’m not dad, I’m just baked.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Craigrets
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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Waitress and me

Waitress: my name is ashley if you need anything.

Me: what is it if i dont?

Everyone: groans and awkward silence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hacopac
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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I told my friend I’m gonna tell a knock knock joke.

Me:”wonna hear a knock knock joke?” Friend:”sure” Me:”ok, but u have to start” Friend: suspiciously β€œok, knock knock” Me: β€œwho’s there” Awkward silence follows.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rigatavr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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Me, at the sushi place, after ordering miso soup:

"me so happy having this soup..." an awkward silence followed by a terrifying realisation: "apparently i'm ready to be a dad..."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallpilot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
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My moment of glory this weekend

I don't have any children -- but I do have a great dad-joke sense of humor. This happened this weekend, and I'm quite proud just saying it on the spot:

Friend: Do you know who's opening for the concert tonight? Me: No, what time does it start? Friend: I don't know, but the doors open at 8. Me: Oh, I didn't know the doors were still touring.

followed by awkward silence, then a look of anger, and a look of defeat*

πŸ‘︎ 175
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πŸ‘€︎ u/battlesnarf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2013
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the idiots house.

[Awkward Silence].

Ok, I'll try another..

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akamully
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
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My dad at the doctors office

My father and I both go to do an annual check up.

The doctor is really friendly and is asking us personnel life questions.

Then the doctor randomly says "Well, have you guys had 'the talk' yet? Have you talked about sex"

Awkward silence.... my dad says

"What's that?"

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyZombies
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2014
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Enjoying Thanksgiving break with my very white family...

My uncle walked out of his bedroom wearing a green sweatshirt. My mom perked up and exclaimed in all excitement, "That's my favorite color!" My uncle, unflinching and without missing a beat replied, "Caucasian?" And gives the most wry smile in the midst of a racially awkward silence. I inappropriately giggled. I might be kicked out of the family.

P. S. I know it's not my dad, but he's a dad to some of the people who were in the room. So it counts.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aleclynch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2015
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[Help]. I get Dad joked every day and I can't do anything about it! What's a good comeback?

As part of my job (I'm a cashier) I'm required to ask people how everything was. Almost every Dad says the exact same thing: "terrible". They then stare at me to see my reaction. When I laugh it off, they say "but what if I Had been serious?" In a very condescending way and make me feel bad for laughing. What I usually do is say "You're not being serious are you?" They say no with a little laugh and an awkward silence follows.

My friends suggested I take my acting to the next level and act genuinely concerned, turning the situation around. But I think there's a funnier solution. Any help?

Another thing: Our food rocks. There's no way they're being serious.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fenderguy314
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2013
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Just dad-joked my dad while he was in the bathroom.

The conversation went this way:

Me: "Knock, knock!"

Dad: "Who's there?"

Me: "A dull pencil."

Dad: "A dull pencil... who?"

Me: "Nevermind that, it's pointless."

My answer was then followed by an awkward silence while I waited for him to get out of the bathroom. After he got out I got a pat on the back.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatomonster11
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2014
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Elevator dad joked

So yesterday my friend, her mum, her grandad and I got into a packed elevator going up and the usual awkward silence happened. Grandad out of nowhere says quite loudly "So, how's everyone's day going?" most of the elevator stayed quiet while my friend and her mum went bright red until this fella on the other side just says "things are going up now". I couldn't help but snort in laughter while everyone else kept their silence

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Khanicus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2015
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Discussing badgers with a British co-worker..

Me: "I honestly don't think I've ever seen one in my life; maybe I have but just didn't know."

Co-worker: "Really? I think I've seen quite a few."

Me: "Yeah. Oh, so they're big in the UK then..?"

Co-worker: "Not really, they're the same size all over the world usually."

cue awkward silence before he kills himself laughing...

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mowjowey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2014
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Picking up a girl for a first date

My dad was picking up my mom for their first date. While she was still getting ready, my dad and grandfather were sitting in the living room in awkward silence. My grandmother, cleaning out the refrigerator, said, "Oh! I forgot we had dates in here!" My mother went running to the kitchen exclaiming, "Ohh! Dates!!"

My grandfather looked at my dad and said (deadpan), "Hear that? She's hungry for dates."

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luckyteela
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2013
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SO just got me with this...

We were watching TV and a pizza place came on, and I said to her, "I feel like pizza." "Really? You don't look like one!" awkward silence "YUS I MADE A TERRIBLE DAD JOKE!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/takawave
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2015
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The pun-master strikes again!

My roommate asked us if she should curl her hair or straighten it Guy Roommate 1: "We like you so much better with curly hair" Guy Roommate 2: "Yeah, you're such a bitch when you straighten your hair" Me: "Seriously, your hair goes straight to your head!"

... (awkward silence followed by berating me with anti-pun comments, jealous)

Edit: grammar stuffs

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2014
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Dad just made that joke...

We were eating Indian food;

Dad: "Son, if one day you have an Indian Girlfriend it'll be your Spice Girl."

Awkward silence

Me: "Well..."

Awkward silence

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flycks
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2015
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Dinner Time Dadjoke

Sitting in a restaurant the other day with my mom and dad. Mom hadn't finished all of her quesadilla.. Waiter walked over...

Waiter: "Wanna box for that?" Dad: "Nah, but she'll probably wrestle you for it."

Awkward Silence

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yolorelli
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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My dad's all time favourite.

"What do you call a 3 legged donkey?"

"A wonkey". Followed by an awkward silence.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tr0nCatKTA
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2013
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While my dad was helping me move into my new apartment...

My dad and I were saying our goodbyes looking into the bed of my pickup. I parked under some nut tree so there was some in the bed.

There was an awkward silence and then my dad goes "Wow, this truck is nuts..."

Classic...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/papa__burgundy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2013
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