I was a little afraid of speed bumps too, but I’m slowly getting over them!
UPDATE: Thank you so much for all the upvotes and amazing responses, fellow Dad Joke lovers. You make the world a happier place! 🤩
The living room!
You take advantage of dodgy programming...
Unfortunately now we’ve got a load of confirmed cases...
It becomes tearable
It's a Procrastinator.
They're full of cycle paths.
Dodge Ram
Who wants some?
STEAK-houses.
...it's time to quit cold turkey.
Because he is Claus-trophobic!
Recovery From Foot Surgery. Help me finish this pun
I’m really looking forward to getting back on my feet. I know once I’m healed I’ll have to hit the ground running. I have to remember to just put one foot in front of the other .....
....I am turning my house into a Chinese restaurant.
.....if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.
Because the lion in the jungle is always a wimb away.
Together we can stop the spread.
It’s also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.
Too many cowlories.
It’s for legal porpoises
People will be lined up for blocks.
Don't buy any kind of fungi. They take up too mushroom.
They give no quarter!
Hello! I have to make a presentation about how to avoid a shark attack for a final project in my english class. I suck at making titles, but can anyone come up with a clever one using puns?
"Saved For Later"
Needless to say, I ignored all the neigh sayers.
New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.
Mister mister missed her.
He said "Well, you should probably avoid those places in the future."
Get a Dodge.
Dad: "To avoid such questions."
I find it extremely difficult to pull it off.
Me: Can I play piano?
Doctor: Yes you can.
Me: Wow! Thanks! I never could before.
He’ll stop at NOTHING to avoid them!
Because if you encounter a deer who has a shotgun, it's best to just leave them alone.
To avoid cross contamination
The Doctor said "don't eat anything fatty".
I said "you mean avoid burgers and bacon, that sort of thing?"
He said "no Fatty, don't eat anything".
Because camping is in tents.
They don’t want to get the sheets!
Contains 25% Mercury
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
Who wants some?
I'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
I’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
