Why isn't the Whitehouse 1776 Pennsylvania Ave?

I mean come on?

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DarwinRue
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 01 2021
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This whole subreddit is a pun.
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Eulengi
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 27 2018
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The Bacon Tree

The year is 1541 and the French have just begun colonization in North America. Young Jean-Luc is in his newly crafted home when suddenly his friend Jean-Pierre bursts through his front door. 'Jean Luc!' he exclaims. 'You weel nevar believe! I 'ave 'eard word of a bacon tree!'. Jean-Luc looks confused and scoffs 'Imposseeble! You cannot grow BaycON on a tree!'. 'Come! And I weel show you ze bacon tree!'. So Jean-Luc & Jean-Pierre set off down the river, with Jean-pierre providing direction to the enigmatic 'bacon tree'. Finally, they pulled over onto a small beach that lead to a large forest. 'Stay 'ere and watch ze canoe, and I weel bring ze bacon back from ze bacon tree!' said John-Pierre. Hours go by and John-Pierre hasn't returned. As night falls, and Jean-Luc is about to enter the forest to look for his friend, he hears a rustling in the nearby brush, to which Jean-Pierre stumbles out, bloody and with arrows through his legs and arms. 'Jean-Pierre! What 'appened!!' exclaimed Jean-luc. 'Turns out it was not a bacOn tree.....it was an 'AMBUSH!!!'

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/kickypie
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 13 2019
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Was on a date, made the joke, no regrets

We were walking down the street and I saw the upcoming intersection was "Fairwell Ave."

When we reached the crosswalk, I said I should head home, and then followed up with, "I guess this is farewell."

Eyes rolled but it was worth it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Sal_Weezer_Valestra
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 08 2016
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On what street does food cook the fastest?

Microw Ave.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/muslimpossible
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 21 2018
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A classic on fathers day

Im sitting in my bedroom just surfing while my wife give my girls a shower in the master bathroom.

So shower's over and Avery was whining that she was cold. After a long day of swimming, that whining turned into a temper tantrum. IM COLD!! IM REALLY COLD!!! over and over.

Calmly, I say, "Ave", she sobs "what", I say "IM REALLY DADDY, ITS NICE TO MEET YOU"

BOOM!! full blown screams and cries. Mission accomplished.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ZER0EFFSGIVEN
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 18 2018
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Street names

I'll never forget when I was riding shotgun while my dad drove, and we were taking my friend Joe home. We had driven these streets hundreds of times, but at this moment, my dad released all these heretofore unheard-of puns.

We took a right on Cambridge Ave.

Dad looks over and stoically says in a gravelly voice with an -- American Indian?? -- accent, "First came iron horseโ€ฆ then came bridge."

Groans.

As we approach Minot Ln., he asks "do I turn here?" and Joe says "yes," to which dad replies "I don't know, Joe, I might, but I minot!"

Groans.

Finally, we make our last turn onto Cheyenne. Dad says with a deliberate, measured cadence, "You know, growing up, all the girls I met were so forward. It was weird. But then I met Shy Anne."

He finished his sentence right as we pulled into Joe's driveway. He put his right hand on the back of my headrest and turned to face us with a wide smile and the glittering, eyes of a puppy that just fetched on command.

Joe said "Thanks, Mr. Smith," and he got out and ran into his house.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/doc_ids
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 14 2014
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My wife is allergic to tree nuts

When she first told me that she was allergic to tree nuts, I responded in a Jamaican accent "Good ting I only ave two mon" Yes I'm a dad...

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/charliecello
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 22 2014
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