Au

This post is gold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soccerbenny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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My favorite dish is Chocolat au Pain

I'm a glutton for punishment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freeaboo_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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Au yeah
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πŸ‘€︎ u/misschrissy417
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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Made this a couple years ago for my chemistry class. My teacher said my puns were Dubnium but I think they're Au
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spozalio
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
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/u/brandonwho_au Makes an eye pun reddit.com/r/AskReddit/co…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirSkidMark
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2017
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I pulled a muscle while digging up gold

It's just a miner injury

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crimsonangel68
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?

AU!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/who_8_my_pasta_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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Gold walks into a bar

The bartender says "AU get out of here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awkunzler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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My kids are such a handful I don’t think one nanny is enough

I need au pair

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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What do you call a gold prospector in the Southern Hemisphere?

An Au-stralian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordTrollsworth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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You'll get a reaction out of this....

Anyone who makes a pun about iron should pay a periodic Fe, I would stop now but that'd be Nobel of me, HeHeHe. Be sure to take a deep breath before you say "NO". At this point you might thinking we should get Iridium of this guy in rl too. I'll eventually run out of chemical puns, right? Na, which might be your mood coincidentally. This guy must be a fake as Silicone, he got this from somewhere to which I reply, Si, senor! I Cu calling for the coppers, but any "Bro" of mine wouldn't. Don't worry, the best ones Argon by now. Au reading this! This winding list is surely golden by now, right?

As we close this out, allow me to echo your thoughts one last time, Fr y'all.

"F"In"Al"Y"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vadea_Shepard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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How do flamenco dancers take their coffee?

Au lait!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyfanwyTiffany
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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How does Wesley serve you a steak dip sandwich?

Au jus wish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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Did you hear about the French man who always wore denim?

His name was Jean Jaquette.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mack179
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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A joke from my oldest (he's 9)

How does a French soccer player like his coffee?

Au lait, au lait, au lait, au lait!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/g5v5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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If you eat gold,

You're an Au-full person.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/netanOG
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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Found this little play-on-words in a science lab at school.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBadWolfX
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2014
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What did the beefdip say when it sneezed)

Au JUS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BetterOutThenIn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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I bought my friend a French dip sandwich.

He said, "Au jus shouldn't have!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slmckay73
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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While some say reddit posts don't affect your future, getting reddit gold is really...

Au-spicious.

While this joke is bad, I doubt you've reddit before.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MatrixCthulhu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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Chemistry pun

Well, sorry to radon your parade, but all of your belongings from your house argon. Someone stole them, and judging by the evidence, whoever stole them would want to barium. There he is! Cesium! Don't let him get away!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/5wag_5andwich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2012
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[MOD POST] Hunting for an additional moderator. Read and apply within.

EDIT: I am now closing applications and will make a decision in the next day or so. Thank you to everybody who applied - the general enthusiasm and support is wonderful to see.

( as this is a self post, I receive no karma - however I would appreciate it if you upvoted purely for visibility <3 )

Hey everybody,

The /r/dadjokes community is now over 85,000 subscribers strong. That's pretty great. Pretty super great.

Thus far, over the entire existence of this sub, I have been the only mod. Quietly watching, taking your feedback, removing a post here, approving another there - doing my best not to interfere too much. I'm going to be honest, it hasn't been that hard.

You lot are generally a pretty nice bunch, give or take a few of the more vocal lunatics. There isn't usually a lot of work to be done, or issues that need resolving.

That said, I'm not awake all the time. I can't lurk on Reddit all the time. I don't have all-seeing eyes.

So it's about time I gave another pair of eyes moderator status and entrusted those eyes with a duty of care.

Let's get down to the chase; here's what I'm looking for in an additional mod:

  • You live in a very different timezone to Syd, AU - GMT+10
  • You have a good sense of humour
  • You're not in this purely to grow your 'net rep
  • You're interested in being fair, and maintaining fairness
  • You maintain civility in yourself and your responses at all times
  • You have a bit of time every day to go through reports, spam, and post comments
  • You understand that your moderatorship will initially be a trial, and can be revoked at any time if you aren't being magical and rad
  • Some general CSS/subreddit formatting knowledge wouldn't go astray, but is not required

Here's what I am not looking for:

  • Strong, cemented opinions about what constitutes a dad joke and what doesn't - everybody's dad and humour is different
  • An overzealous post remover - I am not looking for an enforcer, the title moderator implies moderation
  • A(nother) dictator - it is my preference that this subreddit be gently guided, and not forcibly ruled, we let the community find itself and we listen to what they say

If you wish to apply for the title and duty of being a moderator to /r/dadjokes, simply state your case (why you should be selected, what benefits or experience you bring, etc) in a comment reply to this thread. I will then get in touch with the most worthy seeming applicants. Upvotes and downvites will not be taken int

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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How do you get a bar of gold's attention?

Au!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenTeh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
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When Gold was kicked out of the periodic table,

The other elements said, β€œAu revoir”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2018
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The Dyson Show -- an unintentional Dad-Joke channel

Before today this guy had 22 subscribes. Since being posted on reddit, his subscriber count is much higher. Regardless, his Dad jokes are unparalleled.

"Do you know which president had the strongest stomach muscles? Abs Lincoln."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_owbX2VkcE

Edit: Au, thanks for the gold!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/6745408
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2014
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My son insisted his nails were already cut and I didn't have to trim them. I asked if I could just double-check his hand.

http://i.imgur.com/bAuV8Nh.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danchan22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2015
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I stole some gold from a scientist

He yelled Au! Come back!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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Hitler goes to a French restaurant

The waiter says, "Our special this evening is filet mignon served with au jus." Hitler says, "I'll try the steak, but I'd prefer to eat alone."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackGrizzly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2017
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This is Gold
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CSKING444
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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Chemistry Puns

Funny collection of chemistry puns

What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.


How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone


What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.


Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!


Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.


Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.


How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado’s number.


If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.


What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.


I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium


What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon? A CaNiNe


What did the chemist snack on during lunch? A β€˜gram’ cracker.


What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon (Silly Con)


What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.


How did carbon propose to Hydrogen? With a β€œcarbonkneel”


What did one titration tell the other? Let’s meet at the endpoint.


How can you spot a chemist in the restroom? They wash their hands before they go.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.


Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just could not put it down


Why do chemistry professor like to

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
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the barista who didn't show up on time

She was Cafe-Au-Late

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyanlol
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
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What do you call a dominating Norse god?

AuTHORitative.

This is loki hilarious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/therestlesspanda
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2016
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Here's some comedy gold for you guys

,d Au

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JasonBran
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
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Au

This title is gold.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bang870
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2016
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Au

Are gold letters

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glitchomojo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
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What’s better than pain?

Pain au chocolat

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconCaviar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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I pulled a muscle digging for gold

Just a miner injury!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?

Au!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salman_R
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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How do you greet gold?

"Au."

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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I stubbed my toe against a gold bar

Au Au Au

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πŸ‘€︎ u/duaki
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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So Gold walks into a bar.

Bartender says Au get outa here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deaderson
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?

Au!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterbill
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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What did the chemist say when he dropped a gold ingot on his foot?

Au

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_lmaoxd_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
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This is Gold!

Au

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InthegrOTTO87
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2017
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