Army Puns

Apparently it is private.

The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out

A flat major

All I said was hurry up some of us have homes to go to...

They were all excellent at marxmanship

Chest nuts roasting in open fire

He is best known for the quote:
“Look on my worms, ye Mighty, and despair!”

Tanks for that.

In his Sleevies!

He's very uncomfortable with the phrase "fire at will"

This will eliminate 75% of America’s car bunny missions.

And I remember he used to be stationed in exotic places all over the world. Once he came back home with a very exotic looking bird. I asked him what kind of a bird it was and he told me it’s a rare almost extinct species called a Foux (pronounced Foo). This foux was the apple of his eye and he would take care of the bird as if it was his own child. Sometime during this period the Foux began developing a real bad case of constipation and my father was really worried about it. He tried all kinds of medicines to make the Foux pass it’s bowels, but nothing was working. One day, during this period, I woke up to a huge argument taking place between my parents. My mom was accusing him of cheating on her during one of his tours, she had found some pictures of him and another woman and he was denying it vehemently. I realized then that my father had been quite the philanderer and this wasn’t the first time he had been caught. My mom was trying to get him to just admit to his indiscretion.

“Why don’t you just admit it Harry”, she said;

but he stuck to his denial,

“You think I could ever do something like this Sarah”, he said.

Right then amidst all this ruckus, the Foux began to take a dump, in the middle of the living room.

My mom looked at the bird, then looked back at my dad and with a sense of resignation she just said “Well if the Foux shits...”

He wanted to appear in Corporeal form!

I’ll call them The Infantry

In his sleevies.

~this was my senior quote

They're better when youre on petrol

In his sleevies.

A patty officer

My lieutenant said , fire in the hole and I fired In his hole .

He wanted a pizza the action

In his sleevies!

Told by me to my father at 8yo. I think he's still laughing...

She’s going to the infantry.

That’s why we also call them the Infantry.

..dunno, I give up.

I can't stand them.

“Thank you, sir!” I replied.

Alliter o' rations.

The infantry.

He felt it was his patriotic doody!

People still talk about it today. It was Legion Dairy.

He was afraid of being charged with dessert-tion.

He was familiar with the magazines.

They became the Alpha Centurions.

In his sleevies..

In his sleevies.

In their sleevies!

Up their sleevies.

In his sleevies.

In his sleevies.

In his sleevies

In his sleevies

In his sleevies.

In his sleevies

In his sleevies.

.. in his sleevies

In his sleevies.

In his sleevies