What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?

Tanks for that.

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Dec 08 2020
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My 4 year old just told her first dad joke, and I've never been more proud.

My pregnant wife is wearing a white shirt that has a pumpkin painted over her belly, for Halloween. We are having another little girl, and have set on the name Ellie.

My daughter comes home, and is greeted by my wife.

4yo: "I like your shirt mama!

Wife: "Aww thank you! Do you like my pumpkin belly?

4yo: "...I like your pumpkin Ellie!"

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👤︎ u/Shade0217
📅︎ Oct 31 2020
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My dad was husking corn.

He was surprised at how large the kernels were. "These kernels are large. So large in fact, that they're major."

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Jul 28 2014
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