I have no idea who Alan is.

But he sure is missing a lot of keys.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2021
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Strange it seems, Alan Turning
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/homodemen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2019
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Everybody knows Alan Turing who cracked the enigma codes...

But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided all his snacks, sandwiches and drinks

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PoorKidstoys
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2020
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Why did Alan Turing have uniform body density?

Cuz he was homogenius.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/principlefuker66
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2019
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I think Alan Tudyk's latest tweet belongs here
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joefoe55
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2013
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Driving past Alan Shepard's childhood house when Dad strikes.

Mom: I wonder what it would be like to live in Alan Shepard's house. Dad: I hear the family that lives there is really spacey.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theREALmcmuffen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2015
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My friend was at a conference this summer where Alan Bean (4th man on the moon) was the keynote speaker...

I told him, "that speech must have been out of this world!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spenceredelstei
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2014
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I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
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Because it’s true
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mister_Aitch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2020
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During sex you burn as much calories as running for 5 miles.

Who the hell runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/viperfour
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2019
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When life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic
πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/loaf_of_bean
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2019
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Who is the most useful man

Alan Key

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fandabbydosy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2018
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What did the shark have for breakfast?

Alan Rickman

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NaturalLet
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 31 2019
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Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?

Dad: Because your mom loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter

Son: Thanks dad!

Dad: No problem Alan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 53
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KimJongEwww
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2017
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My dads recent play on words

Me (Lexi): I’m so excited with these wedding photos. I can’t wait to start on making an album for them,

Dad (Alan): You can’t do that. It would have to be a Lexibum. You’re name isn’t Al.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/alexisjoann
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2018
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How many miles to the Moon?

Zero. We had a Neil, a Buzz an Alan and nine other guys but no Miles.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeyHollywood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2018
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My husband and I were making dinner, and I asked him what I should cook the collards in.

He suggested I use "former Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greens-pan".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pactrina
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2014
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The Turings

Everybody knows Alan Turing who cracked the enigma codes.

But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided all his snacks, sandwiches and drinks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
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