Me: Were you able to get ahold of that lady selling the John Deere? My husband:

Yeah, I tractor down.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sierraann0402
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get ahold of Captain Crunch?

His cereal number.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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I just saw a sign that made me piss myself..

It said; "TOILET CLOSED."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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A sore neck was the inspiration for my wife and I to make up this joke together...

A man was telling his friend that his neck was sore. His friend asked him, β€œwhat happened”? The man said that varmints had been tearing up his yard and that he had been spending hours digging through the dirt trying to repair the damage. His friend says, β€œgo for massage and that should take care of the problem”.

A couple of days pass and the two meet up again. The friend asked the man, β€œhow did it go?” The man says, β€œwell, I have to tell you, they are hard to catch, but once you get ahold of them and get started, those gophers sure seem to like their massage”.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdinmd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm currently being audited by the IRA.

O'Donovan know how they got ahold of my records and what my taxes have to do with their cause.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zebra_Placenta
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report

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