Looking for Chicken Names that are puns of Serial Killers
We are finally getting chickens! We are also obsessed with puns and serial killers. Can anyone of the much brighter minds than mine think of any good chicken related/true crime puns?
All the names are puns but I can’t for the life of me figure out what the Duke’s name is supposed to mean
Night of the shipping dead next door and all I get are pun of the mill jokes
Why are puns the only joke medium that are measured in how good they are by how volitole the reaction is?
Calendar Days That Are Puns!
Days That Are Puns
1/23 - January 23rd reads like 123
3/10 - Mar10 Day - Nintendo's Mario Day
3/11 - There's an awesome band called 311
3/14 - 3.14 is the first few digits of Pi AKA Pi Day
5/4 - May the 4th be with you - A pun on "May the force be with you." AKA Star Wars Day
7/11 - Free Slurpee Day at 7 Eleven stores
9/11 - No intention of being offensive with this one. 9/11 reads like the emergency phone number used in the United States
10/4 - Pun for 10-4, which is similar to saying "roger that"
10/23 - National Mole Day (Avogrado's number) 6.02 x 10^23
Please mention any I missed!
Now these are puns at full volume.
Last Thursday my son was moping around and I told him, if you think Thursdays are sad, just wait two more days. He asked why?
Because it'll be sadder day.
My wife asked me, “Are you sometimes surprised as to how little people change?”
I said, “Actually, the process is the same. Apart from their tiny clothes.”
I became a father today, but no dad jokes are coming to me. I’m pretty bummed.
Luckily the neighbor hit me with a few good jokes as we got home! Cheered me right up!
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" - Me: "I Excel at it." - Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"
Why are there no Wal-Marts in Iraq?
Because everything is a Target.
I’ll take my ban now.
I hate it when my wife says "Are you listening to me?!"
Such a random way to start a conversation.
Name puns are the funniest
Why are communists good at archery?
Are people born with a photographic memory?
Or does it take time to develop?
My girlfriend said that quilts are better than duvets..
I told her she should be careful making blanket statements like that.
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
My girlfriend said, “I’m sick of it. You are always pretending to be a Transformer!”
I said, “But wait, I can change!”
Why are fat penguins so popular at parties?
They know how to break the ice
Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. “Something for this I have.” Yoda says.
He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.
“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.
“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”
Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”
There are three guys on a boat, and they have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with – what do they do?
They throw one cigarette overboard, and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
Sausage puns are the wurst.
Half the people you know are below average.
I know the math is correct, but that’s just mean.
Two Germans are a bar in London
"Two martinis, please."
"Dry?"
"NEIN, ZWEI!"
My dad always use to say ‘Two heads are better than one.'
A wonderful father.
Terrible surgeon.
Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey are sitting around discussing a movie they want to make.
DiCaprio says “I’ll be the lead actor”
Clooney says “I guess I’ll be the director” McConaughey says “I’ll write, I’ll write, I’ll write”
What kind of rocks are sour?
Limestone!
This was made up in the car by my 8 year old son as we were driving home from our Fathers Day outing. Promised I'd share it.
What genre are national anthems?
There are 3 types of people in the world:
Those that can count,
Those that can’t.
The origami semi-finals are airing soon.
You can watch it on Paperview
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
Houseflies are arithmetic-whizzes.
When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing
But it's what's inside that counts
What is it called when you die and are born again as a hillbilly?
No matter how kind you are...
Before he passed away, my grandfather said, “Here are three words that would help open a lot of doors for you.”
With the lack of sports on television, networks are going to show the world origami championship.
Auditoriums are specially designed so that sound will bounce around the walls and ceiling in order to be projected to the audience. However, if you place a pigeon on the stage, the coo of said pigeon will not bounce.
This is because of a-coo-sticks.
A lot of people are shocked by the recent events in NASCAR
What is often characterized as a very conservative organization has taken a stance against racism. I'm not surprised at all though. To anyone who's been paying attention, from its very beginnings, NASCAR has always been veering to the left.
Why are thieves silent?
Because stealing is not aloud
If somebody refuses to sleep they are resisting arrest
Interviewer: We only hire people who are responsible.
Me: Well, your search ends today.
At my previous job, whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.
These stock photo pun memes are the worst😀😀
My next door neighbor and I are good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
There are two types of people in this world
The nose puns are amazing.
Two fish are in a tank....
One says to the other, “You know how to drive this thing?”
Why are French snails faster than American ones?
What jokes are allowed during quarantene?
When ducks are flying south, they fly in a V formation. But one side is always longer. Do you know why?
There's more ducks on that side.
(As told by my father)
My son asked me, “Are vampires real?”
I said, “No, unless you Count Dracula.”
It may sound strange, but my fingers are my most reliable body part...
I can always count on them
“Officer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?”
Cop: Yes. It’s quite a moving violation.
Are the Americans awake yet?
My wife and I recently had a child on accident. We didn't want a child at all as we are rather young and wanted to wait a few years. He was born yesterday at the whopping weight of 8 kilos.
We've made a massive mistake
Dad are we the ones who burned down the building?
There are 10 types of people in this world
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!
Do you know what “pirates” are?
I believe electricians are really clever thinkers.
They often have lightbulb moments.
Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? The same thing applies with the Virgin Islands...
There are no canaries there either...
I was clothes shopping with my daughter and she saw pants she really liked on a mannequin and said, "Dad these are 60% off!"
I responded, "Looks like they're all the way on to me."
Puns about Mustafar hopefully are hot
Do you know why Russian dolls are so arrogant?
Because they are full of themselves
Why are demons fat...
Because they hate exorcising!
I just found out that there are people who don't know what water barriers are called
My grandfather was a plumber, my dad and brother are plumbers.
So if you see me with plumber’s crack, just know it’s in my jeans.
Poos are so hard to draw [OC]
Clairvoyants are either really miserable or really angry
What are two documents that don't make sense?
I was just trying to enjoy a day out on the lake. No matter where you are, you can never escape the puns.
Carbs are great for your diet
Most guys are afraid of women with PMS
I think it is just an ovaryaction
My wife yelled, “You got a vasectomy without telling anyone! Are you kidding me?”
My wife asked me, "How are you, beautiful?"
Production costs are really high in the dairy business
A lot of expenses are in curd.
No one knows for sure how many Covid cases there are...
My wife and I are currently due our third, and I don't remember the other pregnancies being this long.
This one seems to be lasting a maternity.
I can't stand people who are missing toes.
I'm lack toes intolerant.
Puns are blooming all over this garden....Like a cat fight between a dandelion and tiger lily...
Oops...A Daisy
https://preview.redd.it/wxa25n2a58c51.png?width=2478&format=png&auto=webp&s=8e61299d08db7234a2776473a1ad3c254e04ee80
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together.
If you are born in a car and die outside, you are literally
Son: By law, you are actually required to turn on your headlights if if is raining in Sweden
Dad: Okay, but how the hell do I know if it’s raining in Sweden?
If you're American outside of a bathroom, what are you inside of it?
The worst thing about time travelling are the kids asking:
I got an email from Google saying "At Google Earth, we are able to read maps backwards!" and I thought;
Some people think drills are interesting
I think they're just boring tools
Why are plush toys never hungry?
A carrot and his wife are walking home from a party late at night and he gets hit by a car.
Mrs. Carrot takes him to the ER and after a day of surgery, the doctor steps out and says, "Mrs. Carrot, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, we saved your husband. The bad news is, he's going to be a vegetable the rest of his life."
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
“Officer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?”
Cop: it’s a .....moving violation.
Do you know why when geese are flying, one side of the V is longer?
There's more geese on that side.
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