With tomato paste.
They call it CORVID-19
Toot in common
I told him pilot jobs aren't really taking off at the moment.
Turns out it was no laughing matter.
The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack.
The guy obliges.
In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught carrying weapons of math instruction!"
He picked up a wheel and spoke
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”
Dunno, they're just a bit shady.
...it becomes a sealing fan.
Because then it would be a foot!
(Credit - The Last of Us)
I was trying to cook an egg in the microwave because I’m extremely lazy, and it (unsurprisingly) exploded.
So she looks at the exploded egg, looks at me and then says: “ aha, it eggsploded ”
This was the last straw that broke the CamelBak.
He started carving it, then got to the legs. He chopped one off and loudly said 'AHA! YOUR GOING NOWHERE NOW!'
Sigh.
It went back fo(u)r seconds.
aha aha aha
One of them goes “ooh ooh ooh ah aha ah ah”, the other says “well put some bleeding cold in then!”
Me: I really want to get a big bulldog one day. Daughter: daddy, you can't get a big bulldog! Me: why not? Daughter because they're too "ruff"
(she even gave me the "aha" face like she knew the pun she was making. I was one proud dad)
So, I'm at the counter in a liquor store, where I see that the cashier is wearing a mock Sons of Anarchy shirt that says, "Sloths of Anarchy" and has a sloth as the logo. As he's ringing me up, I'm trying to think of the perfect way to compliment his shirt. AHA! THIS WILL BE PERFECT
He hands me my receipt and I say, "Hey man, I like the shirt" falling for my trap he replies, "Oh thanks dude, do you watch the show?" My genius reply:
"Yeah I did, but it was kinda slow"
He doesn't even notice and continues to ask if I watched the whole thing. Maybe the world isn't ready for my dad jokes.
Whenever I have to go outside and let him take care of business I always ask him if he is an American.
After a blank stare and no response I always go, "Aha! European!"
I work at a pub and this was after hours when we were cleaning up.
Coworker 1: "Some guy tried to headbutt me tonight because I asked him to move whilst i was mopping"
Coworker 2: "Aha, what a nutter!"
Groans were had.
Not sure if it's just a UK thing, but 'nutting' someone is slang (I think) for headbutting someone.
We were making tuna steaks for dinner, and she was looking for a particular pan in my cabinet.
Gf: "where's that deep frying pan.. aha!" (She found it mid sentence)
Me: "I believe it's pronounced ahi"
I could feel the stare she gave me without looking at her.
Im reading some license plates when i see one from Idaho (thats bizarre for Connecticut) and so i say "Idaho? that's-" before i could say anything else my dad shouts out "AHA! I KNEW IT!!!"
