Secretly (when my wife was out), I'd ask her "who do you love more?", and praise her when she said "dadda!". This has been going on for weeks now.
The other day, my wife got home and I wanted to show her my little 'trick'. So I asked our daughter, "Who do you love more?", in which case she replied "dadda!" and ran towards my wife (which is very clearly her favourite btw).
My wife, who didn't care much for the new thing I taught our daughter, bent down and picked her up to cuddle with her. Her facial expression changed a bit, then she laughed. She looked at me and said "well, she ran to me as she said that, and her diaper is full... so clearly she was full of crap when she said that!"
My wife is now in on the dad jokes and won this one!
Edit: Bolded the text to emphasize what part of this story was the dad joke...
Final Edit: My wife was surprised at how much this blew up! She says thanks to everyone, but she has no idea what the awards are for (since she doesnβt use Reddit). π
He always quacks the case.
I wish he wasn't influenced so much by pop culture.
More on this story as it unfolds
Iβm not joking, but he is.
Turns out, he was part Irish, part British and a tad Pole.
he has to quit cold turkey π€£
Wife: probably just allergies, the air is full of pollen
Me: I guess you could say Iβm snotty by nature
But I've seen stranger things.
De-calf-enated.
A clock with no battery.
βBecause she has no taste.β
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
That's their back story.
I think it's BP.
It's fairly routine but also kind of terrifying as he had to have the carotid artery in his neck opened up.
He got out of surgery yesterday and I texted him today:
"How are you feeling? Still a pain in the neck?"
That cactus must really like making her points clear.
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
Tulips
It's true though
...a volatile organic compound.
πππ
... is it a faux pas?
Please answer soon, thanks!
A synching ship
The outside!
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
And he replies, βYea, just three.β
I would like to know this song.
I replied, "Does she cry a lot?"
He likes to paint his clothes while making love to my Grandma.
Well, at least he dyed doing what he loved.
I took the scooter away from my dog.
He can make beans talk.
A man has three dogs. The 1st is named Max. The 2nd, named Brutus, and the third named Clarice. One day, the owner comes home to find his childhood stuffed animal in pieces on the floor, cotton strewn about everywhere. In an effort to find out who the culprit is he lines up his three dogs. Looking at them he asks the 1st, βMax, did you do this?β Max wagged his tail and didnβt move from his spot. The owner looks over to the third, Clarice, who has taken it upon herself to lay down for some naps. As he looks into the middle of the two, he can see a tuft of cotton escaping from his snout and exclaims: βPet two, Brutus?β
A Sturgeon
First floor has gone great, but the second floor is another story
George Cloney.
The Unimaize.
well, he didn't let that opportunity go to waste
Patient: no, I think I'll see my self out.
When he arrives she says βIβve decided what I want for dinner.β
He was the original ginger bread man.
I'm Gladiator he says!
"The writing's on the wall."
I think it's BP.
Iβm not joking, but he is
