A list of puns related to "Having A Baby"
He was named Justin Case.
I asked in response if she thought it was “Birth-while”
Me: Congratulations! Do you know the sex?
Friend: Of course we know “the sex”. How else are we having a baby?
He said, "absolutely not. Babies should have baths, not showers."
He would've said, "so you're having a birth-quake?"
It's the first known case of two Wongs making a white.
Friend: Yeah, the baby was just born but we can't see it.
Me: Why? Is it invisible?
A cello bow.
They’re both tender and mild!
Niether one is a Peterbuilt.
Its elliptical cord.
I’ll hand them to her and say “Here’s the fruits of your labor.”
About a calf an hour.
They can't read
Hey, my job serves a youthful porpoise!
But you are coming back with high heels”. Her mom sent me a text asking me what I said that made my wife throw her phone in to her lap and groan aloud. Mission accomplished haha
I said, "Yes. Steve."
She said, "Awww! That's a lovely name!"
"Thanks." I said. "But what do you think we should call the baby?"
It’s called “Heavy Doody.”
So, one of my best friend's and his wife are having their first child. My friend despises puns, so of course I send them to him all the time. So I want to start sending him baby name ideas that are all puns. They don't know the gender yet, so boy, girl, and neutral name ideas would all be great. Their last name is "Paris".
are they just kidding
So I have used this joke religiously for many many years. My oldest 20, second 5 and then my baby girl is just over 18 months. Every time any of them need a new diaper.
“Alright looks like you’ve broke it, there’s a crack in it so you need a new butt.”
The two older ones still crack up and princess dances around when I say it.
(Yes that is a mighty big gap in ages and yes all the same mom)
"My pregnant wife is having contractions!" he yells.
"Is this her first baby?" asks the doctor.
"No, you idiot, it's her husband!"
There was no gun control
Ginger-bred!
Whenever I see him, he makes me happy. I tell him, “You are my son, Shane.”
I said, "yeah, that's the plan."
He said he just wanted Juan Moore.
She was non-hobbit forming.
What do you call a four humped camel?
Having a baby chicken.
"When we work out the kinks"
He said, "Congratulations, I hope it's a boy or a girl!"
Quick as a whip until the day he died.
What do they do with the liver?
…but as he grows older and bigger, Daddy Balloon insists he sleeps in his own bed.
Baby Balloon doesn't like being all alone, he misses his Mommy and Daddy so much, that after a few nights, he tries to sneak back into Mommy Balloon and Daddy Balloon's bed, only to find that he had grown too big to fit in the bed with them!
He decides to let some air out of Mommy Balloon, but there's still not enough room, so he let's some air out of Daddy Balloon, but again there's not enough room, so he lets some air out of himself and finally he fits into the bed!
Well, the following morning Daddy Balloon is furious!
"I am very disappointed with you!" says Daddy Balloon. "Not only have you let your Mother down, but you have let me down and let yourself down!"
But there was a shipping delay
For crying out loud.
Miss Carriage.
We were looking at a Facebook post on bees that had lost their home and taken to a bit of chocolate on the road. The pictures showed the bees then all rushing into a basket a beekeeper had brought containing a honeycomb.
When my wife commented on how they all were so quickly attracted to it, I could not stop myself as I blurted out "Well yeah, they were looking for another place to bee"
Don't think she had ever rolled her eyes so hard.
Me: Well, that seem unethical.
Wife: Because it's healthy?
Me: I don't see why it's healthy or ethical to eat asian babies.
Wife: ...I meant Asian food for babies.
Me: Oh! Well that makes more sense.
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