96 Puns

He directly drinks from the bottle.

She drinks straight from the bottle

But I'm polite, I only look at the covered parts

Sorry, I'm getting a little choked up over here

He was found at his home in between the couch cushions.

My freshman year in high school (96-97), I was in choir, and we drove up in a big coach bus to Magic Mountain for a choir competition.

Approaching San Onofre, the driver told us a "little known fact" that if you put your hand on the window while passing under those jumbo power lines coming from the plant, you can feel a moderately painful shock. Being gullible teenagers, a lot of us tried it.

We passed under, and the driver asked if we felt any pain. There were scattered replies in the negative. The diver said, "You didn't feel the window pane?"

...which was "Thirsty".

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/96/SmirnovVS_KnMihailChern.jpg

DAD: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

MOM: Awww... Yes!!!

DAD: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me

90 + 91 + 92 + 93 + 94 + 95 + 96 + 97 + 98 + 99 = 945

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e8/55/96/e855965784a4d8df7085dd5cdb59d011.jpg

There was concern that they might have died from Avian Flu. An avian pathologist examined the remains of the crows, and to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely not avian flu. The cause of death was vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the birds beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that nearly 96% of the crows had been struck by trucks, while only 4% were car impacts.

The MTA then hired an Ornithological Behavourist to determine the reason for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills vs car kills. He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat roadkill, they have a look-out crow nearby to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the look-out crows could shout "Cah!", none could shout "Truck!"

I DEMAND that you SUPPLY me with answers to the following questions:

p. 96 #'s 1, 2, 3, 6, 8, 9, & 11 finish for Monday

90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99 =945 !!!!! Ba dum tss!!!

90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99=945

90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99=945

90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99 = 945