Tu-Tu won one too.
That's the last time I referee a Specsavers v Vision Express football match!
2/22.
TOO! TO-TOOO!
Get it?
When I finally had an accident at work, I was shocked.
After taking a bullet to the knee, his friend wasn't as lucky.
On his release, he'll be saying, "Deuces!"
My daughter was having some trouble eating pasta with her fork tonight, so I said to her that it was okay to eat with her fingers. "No," she said with a cheeky grin. "Eat with mouth."
Dad: Okay. Put it back when you're done.
I told her it sucks that she only gets to celebrate for a third of a minute. She stared at me blankly. I said, ya know because it’s your twenty second birthday...
Me: You should be more careful where you put things. Dad: I wish they'd told me that twenty two years ago.
or shall I say Two'sday...
And no I know why we call it twosday.
I asked him what he was doing. He told me that he was doing nothing.
I then reminded him that he has been doing nothing all day.
His reply - "Well, I'm not done, and you keep interrupting me."
I can't wait until I'm a grandfather.....
Friend was doing homework and was upset his Air National Guard pen had run out of ink. I remarked, "that sucks! That was your reserve pen"
groan
Sorry, I mean 4 and 6.
Saw Andy Zaltzman last night and he dropped that quality dad joke.
I'm on the pale leo diet.
"Let's get lunch, I'm buying. What are you in the mood for, son?" "Hmm...I feel like a sandwich for lunch." "Well you don't look much like a sandwich to me!"
Every time.
Why does a crow never get hit on the side of the road?
There is always one on the other side saying "CAH CAH!"
Because 2:20 is 2:20 too
2/22!
TOOOOO!
TOO-TOOOOO!!
Because 2:20 is 2:20 too
