11 year old made this one today.
Why are woodpeckers so lucky?
They're always knocking on wood.
My 11 year old told me this last night. “Hey did I tell you my construction joke??!?”
On Dec 24th, my 11 year old son said, "It's Christmas Eve..."
"So, shouldn't tomorrow be Christmas Adam?"
I asked my 11 year old if he’d like to hear a dirty joke. He said yes!
“Two pigs fell in the mud.” He actually laughed at this classic!
I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
C/o my 11-year-old son...
Whilst talking about atoms and molecules with my kids, he comes out with this beauty;
"I don't trust atoms. They make up everything."
So proud.
I have to tell someone about this because I'm at home alone with my 2 year old and 11 month old, and they're to young to understand my best dad joke ever.
My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!
My 11 year old shared a cool joke. He says...
"I just bought a fridge magnet.... So far I have 14 fridges!"
My 11 year old and I were coming out of a store and someone just parked right next to our car.
She said. Our cars aren’t social distancing! You don’t want them to get ...CARona virus do you?
Proud moment.
Nothing’s better than being 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, or 97 years old
Those are the years you’re in your prime
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
From my 11 year old daughter. Did you hear the one about the man with the broken hearing aids?
My 11 year old: Who is the leader of all tissues?
A conversation with my 11 year old this morning...
Son: Dad, there's a hole in your t-shirt.
Me: I know, it's my religious t-shirt.
Son: gives me a blank look
Me: It's holy!
11 year old named Kevin: I don’t know who Catherine O’Hara is.
Today is the last time I am seeing my 11 year old brother!
Coz he's turning 12 tomorrow!
This just happened: I explained to my 11 year-old niece that wheat pennies are/were a thing. She didn’t believe me, so she looked it up on grandma’s phone. To our surprise, we learned that there are some people selling wheat pennies online for *thousands* to *TENS* *of* *thousands* of dollars.
To which I said, “That doesn’t make cents.”
My 11 year old and I were at a grocery store. I got one of those flimsy bags to put peaches in. The bag ripped, my daughter laughed. I looked at her said oh no, I had a Bagcident. She stopped laughing.
I tapped my 11 year old son’s knee yesterday and said “what organ is this?” He said “umm, my leg?” I said “nope it’s your kid knee”.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
/r/Weekness/comments/erz6…
I was watching football with my 11 year old son and wearing a short sleeve shirt. He said, "Dad, you have as much hair on your arms as I have on my head." I said,
"even more interesting, you have as much hair on your arms as I have on my head."
Why couldn't the 11 year old go to the pirate movie?
11 years ago my mother decided to go back and finish school. She earned her bachelors, masters, and just got her PhD. She asked if I was proud of her
"What's with the third degree?"
My 11 year old son’s joke
Him: I lost my marbles!
Me: Oh?
Him: Yeah, and they were sentiMENTAL to me!
He then laughed and put his hand up for a high five. He is truly his fathers son:) My husband is very proud!
I will be sitting in the toilet at new years eve 11:59 pm...
I'll be like same shit different year
My 11 year old daughter asked me tonight, "Dad, do you know what I don't get? "
apparently "An allowance?" wasn't the answer she wanted.
My 11 year old son got my wife
My wife bought a frozen pizza that was purported to be the best frozen pizza, and supposedly you couldn't tell that it was frozen.
She baked it in the oven, got it out, and asked "So, does this look like a frozen pizza?"
My eleven year old son replied "not any more"
I'm so proud of him!
My 11-year old tried to tell me a Dad Joke...
11 year old dad joked me.
Kid: hey have you seen the movie Constipated?
Me: Hmm... no.
Kid: That's because it hasn't come out yet.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Today, my son asked me “can I have a book mark?” And I burst out crying, 11 years old and he still won’t call me dad
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
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