I was going through my twitter account, and remembered I write puns when I have writer’s block. Hopefully this counts.
Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
I bought a pen that can write underwater
... it can write other words as well.
I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
Honest LPT: I got embarrassed the other day, and want to help other people avoid making my mistake. Now this might seem counterintuitive, but if you come up with a good dad joke MEMORIZD it and NEVER write it down. Because the moment you put it on paper...
You’re never wrong when you write
When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said "Don't forget to write"
I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"
Frogs shouldn't write cheques.
What’s the most effective way to write a murder mystery?
I Can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman Numerals
I WRITE ALL MY JOKES IN CAPITALS...
THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS.
I'm a teacher and every day I write a Dad Joke from this sub on the board. Today a student said this to me... I was about to go off... before I got the Dad Joke.
Student: "Sir, someone nutted on the floor!"
Me: *Begins to get angry* *Turns around... there's a hex nut on the floor*
Me: "Well played."
My therapist told me to write letters to people I hated and then burn them.
I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.
What did Capt. Ahab’s son write on his father’s cast?
My wife said, “Why don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?”
I said, “That’s.....a novel idea.”
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
My son asked me for something hard to write on
I don't know why he got so mad, sand is pretty hard to write on
Why did the author write about pirates?
They thought it was cannon to the story.
Since they are filming Spider-Man 3 near my house, I thought I’d write the lead actor an orchestral piece...
I think I’ll call it “Mr. Holland’s Opus”
I wonder if they'll write a book about Ellen Page's transformation into Elliot
They should.
It'll be a real Page-turner!
These things write themselves
What do you call a dinosaur that writes books?
Never write sad songs
You’re just making a bad situation verse!
An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"
The teacher said it had to be specific
I had a friend who got paid by the letter to write a phonics manual
To make a little extra cash he wrote a rhotic r on the side
When I write down the alphabet I never get past the letter "I"
I guess that's where I draw the line.
Why did Popeye write to the Italian food company Bertolli, thanking them for everything they’d done?
They made olive oil spread.
Which state is always ready to write?
How to write a good dad joke
Well it needs a proper setup, followed by a PUNchline.
Whenever I write a letter, I always add a footnote explaining Ohm’s Law.
It’s my P.S. de resistance.
I like to write jokes down from this sub and store them on my phone.
What did the pimp write on his resume?
I got a pen in Barcelona. It writes so smoothly. I can get the finest lines out of it. Everyone is so surprised by it
Because no one expects the Spanish ink precision!
What do you call it when a car writes its life story?
When u decide to write a Love letter 💌
Why did Stalin only write in lower case?
He was afraid of Capitalism.
My daughter's teacher gave her a project to write the English alphabet on slips of paper. Unfortunately 25 letter slips got wrinkled on her way to school.
But atleast she has a smoothie
What would C.S.Lewis write if he was a Rat?
The Chronicles of Gnaw-rnia...
Hehe..
I tried to write a poem about chicken...
But I’m not very good at poultry.
Why shouldn't you write with a dull pencil?
When I was leaving home for the first time, my dad said to me, "Don't forget to write."
I thought, "That's unlikely. It's a basic skill, isn't it ?"
I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman Numerals
Did you know that this pen can write underwater?
It can also write lots of other words as well.
Did you know that I can write underwater?
I can write other words, too!
I have a pen that can write underwater
It can also write other words too.
I own a pen that can write under water
It can write other words too
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