Did you know the Apollo 11 astronauts arm wrestled to decide who would be the first man on the moon?

Neil won.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzysax241
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do positively charged particles have in common with professional sumo wrestling teams?

They're both protons.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fecalfettucine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
If Smellevision existed, what channel would you smell wrestling?

Triple HBO

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cmaffeo3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A pirate dad joke

A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg, asking β€œHow’d you get that?”

β€œAye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.”

The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked β€œHow’d you get that?”

β€œAye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.”

The sailor then pointed to the pirate’s eyepatch, again asking β€œHow’d you get that?”

β€œAye, a bird flew by and shat in me eye.”

The sailor responded with β€œThat’s not as impressive as the first two”.

β€œAye, it was me first day with me hook.”

πŸ‘︎ 158
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DelaneyElias
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the Eskimos’ signature wrestling move?

The Arctic Choke

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/babyhamstah
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I was wrestling with my 7 yr old just now and introduced him to "stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."

I feel that i have passed the tradition down yet another generation. Im going to live forever!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you wanna box for your leftovers?

No but I’ll wrestle you for them.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vissik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A question for wrestling fans and campers alike...
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CodyGriffin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a woman at the gas station pumping gas and trying to light a cigarette

I went inside to pay and saw two policemen in the store. I said "Did you guys see that woman out there?" They looked outside and suddenly darted out the door. I turn and see she caught her arm on fire.

The policemen threw a blanket around her and wrestled her to the ground and put out the fire. Then they gave her a ticket!

After they came inside I asked why they gave her a ticket. Turns out she didn't have a license for that firearm.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/digeratisensei
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call literature about wrestling?

Body slam poetry

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sexypinochet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m a server and here’s a dad interaction I had the other day

Me, pointing at his food: Wanna box for that?

Random dad: No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.

πŸ‘︎ 286
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImFunguys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
So apparently this is legal in wrestling.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Verb_Noun_Number
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Superman and I had an arm wrestling competition

The loser had to wear their underwear over their pants.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tahmid5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My waiter asked me if I wanna box for my leftovers.

I said, "No but I'll wrestle you for them."

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Son_of_Biyombo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I've never seen midget wrestling, but I want to see it.

It's definitely on my short list.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I always bring a piece of paper to a wrestling match, just in case...

The Rock is my opponent.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CentsLord
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw two chickens wrestling in the pen today.

I think I saw one of them flip a bird, but I'm not sure.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoopaTroopa37
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a skeletons favorite wrestling event?

A rib cage match

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Petey1210
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
So the Atlantic and Pacific oceans were arm wrestling. At first the Pacific was winning, but then the Atlantic started to gain the upper hand.

You could say the tides have turned.

Ill be here all night folks.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShedATyr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the dog lose the arm wrestling tournament?

Because he fourfeet

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SharkyMarkySD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
🚨︎ report
My waitress just asked β€œ Do you wanna box for your food?”

I told her β€œNo I would rather wrestle for it”.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MiggyLT
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the gas company like the world wrestling champion?

Because they heard he was propane (propain).

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajesticSunset7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I won an arm wrestling contest.

They're much easier than human contests.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
The waitress came over and saw my leftovers and asked, "do ya wanna box for that?"

I responded with, "no, but we can arm wrestle any day."

πŸ‘︎ 971
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajjanialthor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Does John Cena still wrestle?

I haven't seen him in a while.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizwit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Arm Wrestling and Trucking?! Well, yes, they go hand in hand. earwolf.com/episode/over-…
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rpconnolly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2014
🚨︎ report
What’s Fast and the furious 10 going to be called?

Fast 10: your seatbelts.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Not sure how many Pro Wrestling fans on here but, Jerry 'The King' Lawler is a pro dad joker.

One of my all time favorites he made on air, I can't really remember the exact context as to why he said this but he said "I wear orthopedic shoes, so I stand corrected" One of many examples.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SethIdol
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2014
🚨︎ report
[At the therapist] Hulk Hogan: I struggled through a lot of mental issues during my career.

Therapist: So you could say.. you had to wrestle mania?

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
When getting ready to leave the restaurant, our hot waitress noticed by leftovers and asked: β€œdo you wanna box for that?”

I said: β€œI’d rather wrestle for it”.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoosierdaddiesx
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Meeting famous YouTube stars at PAX East calls for all the puns...
πŸ‘︎ 866
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πŸ‘€︎ u/renduh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Logged onto Twitter this morning to see pro wrestling legend Paul Heyman dropping a solid dad joke.

https://twitter.com/HeymanHustle/status/477471573062844417

"Hey, how do you feel?"

"...With my hands"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smark_Henry
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2014
🚨︎ report
So I was at a wrestling meet...

And I got mat burn on my elbow. It turned into a nasty scab. Later, my dad says, "Have you met my friend Mat Burn?" Then points to my elbow.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PantherCoffee72
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2014
🚨︎ report
Wrestling with the wife...

I stopped her because she came close to putting her shoulder in her bowl of ice cream then she says "Woah, I almost gave myself the cold shoulder". I love my wife.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madmax04
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2013
🚨︎ report
Wrestling Relatives

Today at lunch I dad-joked my wife.

wife: There was this guy who would come into my work, James Savage-
me: Oh, was he related to Randy?
wife: blank stare
me: ...Macho Man Savage?
wife: flared nostrils/large sigh/continues her story

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/martinzer0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad: Wanna wrestle?

Over-confident teenage son (me): You and what army?

Dad: My left army and my right army.

Miss you ol' man.

EDIT: Formatting.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/circuitfive
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
🚨︎ report
Waiter: do want a box for your leftovers?

Me: no. But I’ll wrestle you for them!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you want a box for your leftovers?

No, but I'll wrestle you over them.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fabulousump
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Waiter: Do you wanna box for your leftover food?

Dad: No thanks, but I’ll wrestle you for them.

πŸ‘︎ 490
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awburrou
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The waiter asked me if I wanted a box for the leftovers...

So I said, "No, but I'll wrestle you for them."

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chocolate-queen
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My waitress asked me if I wanted a box for my food

I told her I’d rather wrestle her for it instead

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Unsettled_Beef121
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you wanna box for your leftovers?

No, but I’ll wrestle you for them!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chuck-Dieazel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Waiter: Do you want a box for your leftovers?

No. But I'll wrestle you for them.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report

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