Neil won.
They're both protons.
Triple HBO
A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg, asking “How’d you get that?”
“Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.”
The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked “How’d you get that?”
“Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.”
The sailor then pointed to the pirate’s eyepatch, again asking “How’d you get that?”
“Aye, a bird flew by and shat in me eye.”
The sailor responded with “That’s not as impressive as the first two”.
“Aye, it was me first day with me hook.”
The Arctic Choke
I feel that i have passed the tradition down yet another generation. Im going to live forever!
No but I’ll wrestle you for them.
I went inside to pay and saw two policemen in the store. I said "Did you guys see that woman out there?" They looked outside and suddenly darted out the door. I turn and see she caught her arm on fire.
The policemen threw a blanket around her and wrestled her to the ground and put out the fire. Then they gave her a ticket!
After they came inside I asked why they gave her a ticket. Turns out she didn't have a license for that firearm.
Body slam poetry
Me, pointing at his food: Wanna box for that?
Random dad: No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.
The loser had to wear their underwear over their pants.
I said, "No but I'll wrestle you for them."
It's definitely on my short list.
The Rock is my opponent.
I think I saw one of them flip a bird, but I'm not sure.
A rib cage match
You could say the tides have turned.
Ill be here all night folks.
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit ➡Because he fourfeet
I told her “No I would rather wrestle for it”.
Because they heard he was propane (propain).
They're much easier than human contests.
I responded with, "no, but we can arm wrestle any day."
I haven't seen him in a while.
Fast 10: your seatbelts.
One of my all time favorites he made on air, I can't really remember the exact context as to why he said this but he said "I wear orthopedic shoes, so I stand corrected" One of many examples.
Therapist: So you could say.. you had to wrestle mania?
I said: “I’d rather wrestle for it”.
https://twitter.com/HeymanHustle/status/477471573062844417
"Hey, how do you feel?"
"...With my hands"
And I got mat burn on my elbow. It turned into a nasty scab. Later, my dad says, "Have you met my friend Mat Burn?" Then points to my elbow.
I stopped her because she came close to putting her shoulder in her bowl of ice cream then she says "Woah, I almost gave myself the cold shoulder". I love my wife.
Today at lunch I dad-joked my wife.
wife: There was this guy who would come into my work, James Savage-
me: Oh, was he related to Randy?
wife: blank stare
me: ...Macho Man Savage?
wife: flared nostrils/large sigh/continues her story
Over-confident teenage son (me): You and what army?
Dad: My left army and my right army.
Miss you ol' man.
EDIT: Formatting.
Me: no. But I’ll wrestle you for them!
No, but I'll wrestle you over them.
Dad: No thanks, but I’ll wrestle you for them.
So I said, "No, but I'll wrestle you for them."
I told her I’d rather wrestle her for it instead
No, but I’ll wrestle you for them!
No. But I'll wrestle you for them.
