Just started my new job as a security guard. The supervisor told me my job would be to watch the office at night.
I’m on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.
It would be shocking if this isn't a repost but I could not resist
saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...
If FedEx and UPS merged, the employees would be
If Kai was a flower, what would he be?
What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she was still alive today?
Probably scratching the inside of her coffin.....
Why did the would be robbers call off the distillery heist?
If I was going to steal anything from a store it would be a whisk
That’s just a.... whisk I’m willing to take.
Would you like to be the sun to my life?
Her: yes, I really would!
Me: good, so stay 92 million miles away from me!
What do you think would be different if men peed from their balls instead of their penis?
For starters, peanuts wouldn't have been named peanuts
Some people think Steve jobs would be a better president than Donald Trump
But you can't really compare apples to oranges.
From r/askreddit's thread "If your sex life was a country, what country would it be and why?"
So would this now be a can’t opener?
What would the Property Brothers show be called if they were alien skeletons?
These would be tender after a run
I finally found a genie in a bottle! So I asked if it would be possible to change French positives to Spanish...
He replied, "oui shall sí."
What would a basketball game set in heaven be named?
What would be the name of of the nutrition store the Mandolarian would open?
I thought this book I've just bought about farming would be a nice simple read..
But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.
If a mathematician in Antarctica murdered someone what would he be?
What would Walter White be called if he dealt in ketchup instead of meth?
I would say i live in africa but then id be lion
This one popped in my head out of nowhere.
People said I would never be good at poetry because I was dyslexic.
But so far I've made two vases and a bowl and they turned out great!
Well I mean I would be mad...
Correct me if I’m wrong, but due to the ongoing pandemic, would it be smart to stay at least 6ft away from the chips and dip when visiting a Mexican restaurant?
You know, Salsa Distancing.
If there were months on an alternative “Planet-B”, would they be named the same?
My wife said if I cleaned the house the reward would be sex.
My goodness, I wonder who with.
How would Uno be used if it was a verb?
What would Ed Sheeran be if he wasn't a musician?
If pigs could fly, bacon would be leaner.
If I had a Stable, I would be careful about my horses after sunset. If one of them escaped after sunset,
What did the Muslim train engineer say when his child asked why a creature so perplexing as the platypus would be created?
What would a bar owned by an English teacher be called?
What would Hitler be called if he graduated from an Ivy League university?
At first I thought breaking up with an egg would be hard...
Son: 'Dad, would it be cool if I turned on the AC?'
Me, who got visibly annoyed: 'What else would it be???'
If a friend left you 12 bottles of wine on your doorstep, would you be extremely....
Why would a member of The Muppets be arrested?
The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.
What would Gordon Ramsay’s stage name be if he was a wrestler?
Would better fit here, original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Son: “What crime would I be charged with if I broke into the Capitol and planted a forest?”
Dad: “Well I’m no legal expert, but I suspect there’d be some trees in there.”
Would better fit here, [original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/kq35tq/shitpost_because_its_3_am_and_i_should_be_sleeping/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
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