I’d like to thank Merriam-Webster for teaching me the meaning of the word β€œplethora”.

It really means a lot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmhollifield
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I was asked once about the meaning of the word ' inexplicable ' in a sentence..

..and found it very hard to explain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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The world has been taken storm by jokes exploiting the different possible meanings of words or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings.

Stay safe everyone. This is a global pundemic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chadnav
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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When my father explained the meaning of the word "many" to me, I thanked him profusely...

It meant a lot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datboifritz113
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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After getting dementia, my wife is able to recall the meaning of only a few words of the dictionary.

She remembers next to nothing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many'...

and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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The other day someone told me I don't know the meaning of the word ironic

Which is ironic because I work in an aquarium

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChanandlerBong4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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The word "politics" is derived from the word 'poly', meaning "many", and the word 'ticks', meaning "blood sucking parasites". (Larry Hardiman)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kosmozoan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
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I do not know the meaning of the word apocalypse, but so what?

...it's not the end of the world.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2015
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I don't know what the word "stubborn" means

But I won't stop until I figure it out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scarvius
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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There are two possibilities for words that mean "final part" or "smaller amount".

The possibilities are: end, less.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Son: What does the word naive mean?

Dad: It's not a real word.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sethoschmitt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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Son: Dad, in math, does the word product mean to use addition?

Dad: No son, I think you need sum vocabulary lessons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jason_Boyd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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Last night, I explained to my son what the word β€œbargain” means.

I think it meant a great deal to him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Dude’s going to Maine and there’s a city called β€œBangor” which is kind of like the word β€œbanger” which means really cool, fun, great, etc.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jt146
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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What do you mean DAT isn't a word? v.redd.it/z7kj92557h721
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ctzn4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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When one word in a language means something different in another language
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmiroZ
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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My 9 year old wanted me to post her joke here!

What does it mean when you find horseshoes? It means a horse is walking round in its socks!

I am so proud of her! Edit: wording.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valenshyne
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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One word can mean everything.

It's everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leyk973
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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Paranoid? I don’t even know what that word means..

I have no time to learn new words. People are trying to kill me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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A woman is at her deceased father's funeral.

The man sitting next to her asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?" "Absolutely", she responds. So the man walks up to the podium and clears his throat. "Plethora" he says. Then he comes and sits back down. "Thank you", the woman says. "That means a lot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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A bit of word play

I would love to hear your own jokes you have written that use word play or other punny techniques. Here is a joke I wrote:

My friend said, " Me and Holly are going to the mall today." I responded, "You mean, Holly and I." My friend, "You're such a grammar nazi! You know what I meant." I respond, "No, it is you who is a grammar nazi because you're anti-semantic."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kind-Today-8988
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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So what if I don't know what the word 'Apocalypse' means?

Is it really the end of the world?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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Hey, anyone know any good Sword fighting puns ? Trying to think of any

.. words with a dual meaning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Butt encouragement puns!

Hey guys! I need combinations of words for ass and words that mean something in the realm of β€œmaking someone happy”

Context: a friend of mine and I send each other selfies on the toilet and she’s having a shitty day (hah) so I bent over the toilet and stuck my ass in the air and took a picture like my ass was taking a selfie and now I need something punny yet encouraging to say

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyenaKing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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I didn't make this up but I wish I knew who did.

It was a gloomy day for a funeral. The widow weeped quietly in the front row. A distinguished gentleman approached her and said "Ma'am, I'm so sorry for your loss. Would you mind if I said a word?" "Please do", she replied. He stands, straightens his tie, and says "Plethora." Then he sits down. "Thank you," she said.

"That means a lot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eap42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Do you know what the word "hypothetically" means?

No, but I can imagine a situation in which I might

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meizbrandon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2014
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When it comes to dads, every word means something. I hate auto correct sometimes

http://imgur.com/uU1lPk0

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Undew_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2014
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Guy annoys girlfriend with puns at Ikea
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GabuTheBunny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2015
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At a funeral, a little old man goes up to the grieving widow.

"May I say a word?"

Sniffling, the widow agrees. The old man clears his throat, "Plethora"

"The widow smiles. "Thanks, that means a lot."

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πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Funny 'Dads Anonymous' story to share for the holiday weekend.

"Welcome everyone to Dads Anonymous. Again my name is Bill and you will notice that we have a new member, please welcome Gary -- Can you tell us what brought you to us today?"

"Well I have a very embarrassing confession. It's even hard to get the words out."

Bill reassures him, "We are all dads here and have been meeting for decades, we've been through all the highs and lows, births and deaths, tragedies, we've heard it all. Just tell us what's on your mind son, we are here to support each other."

"Well, a couple months ago, I broke both my legs in a motorcycle accident and couldn't walk, so I let my wife use the lawnmower." He says through the sobs...

Bob, one of the other dads, starts to get pale. "...and she didn't even cut it in a crisp geometric pattern, it was just random..." Bob starts to sweat and get dry heaves. "YOU BASTARD", he screams. "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN." The dads rise and get ready to beat the crap out of Gary, when Bill stands between them and breaks it up.

"Guys! Guys, we all get weak sometimes and things happen outside our control. Doug, you remember when you were in recovering from Chemo and you gave your wife a hammer, and she used it to hammer a roofing nail into the drywall to hang a picture!" Doug, looks down in shame, "Yes, that was a bad day, I was so weak. She missed the stud and left a dent in the wall, and she just hung the picture over it, crooked!" There was dead silence. "Thats ok Doug, it was twenty years ago, you were young and foolish, you can let it go". Then all the dads shook hands and sat back down.

Bill starts the meeting up again. Then Gary says, "..theres one more thing, Right after I got out of the hospital, she wanted to make a special dinner for us, so I let her grill the steaks..." "OH LORD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" screams Dave, another dad, his face turning red. Gary continues "...she burnt them one one side and they were dry and chewy." Now there is a bedlam, one dad immediately passes out cold, chairs are thrown, broken bottles, Gary is on the ground being kicked in the ribs. After a few tense minutes Bill managed to get the dads off of Gary. "Stop it, Dave you're killing him. Come on, you remember that time you let your wife go to the repair shop for an oil change?" Dave hung his head, and muttered yeah. "They convinced her to change the cabin filter, wiper blades and the radiator collant..." Bill kept prodding "and, aaand" ...Dave broke down, "and she bought a jug of blinker fluid!" T

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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My daughter asked me what "inexplicable" means.

I said, "It's hard to explain."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicguy1982
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
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Do you know the definition of politics?

Poli is a Greek word meaning many, and tics are small, bloodsucking insects.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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My 8 year old pulled this on me

Daughter: Dad, are you smart?

Me: Yes.

Daughter: Spell it.

Me: S-M-A-R-T

Daughter: You said you’re smart but you can’t even spell the word β€œit.”

She got me good.

β€”

Edit: My first front page post! I’d like to say thanks to all the wonderful people that upvoted this and made awesome comments. And screw you to the weirdos who went out or their way to say mean things. And thanks to my daughter. She is the real MVP in all this.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SonicPavement
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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A widow was at a funeral today, lost her husband.

The funeral director asked, β€œCan I say a quick word?” β€œSure,” replied the widow. β€œThank you,” the funeral director responded, β€œPlethora” β€œThanks, means a lot” replied the widow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superonkey101
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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The funeral

So there's this funeral, and the widow asks if anyone would like to say anything.

A man stands up and say: "I'd like to say a word."

The widow nods and the man takes the podium.

He says, "Plethora." and goes back to his seat.

The widow says: "Thank you, that means a lot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toothpik556
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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The discovery of taste buds in the male reproductive organs

gives a new meaning to the word tasty-cles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bb-m
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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A struggling young news reporter was having trouble getting good sound bites from the politicians she was sent out to interview, so she invited an experienced colleague out to dinner to ask for advice.

The would-be mentor insisted on going to a seafood restaurant and then he ordered his favorite meal for the both of them. When the hard working, fresh-out-of-journalism-school grad asked the veteran newshound how he always managed to get witty phrases from the Prime Ministers and Presidents he interviewed, a sly smile swam across his face.

Intrigued, she watched intently while he reached for his wallet then removed a €5 note. Holding it toward her face over the table, she was surprised when the greying beat writer dropped the money directly on her uneaten dinner and held an index finger to his closed lips.

As they both looked down at the seafood platter, his paper Euro was suddenly sucked under the rings of fried calamari until it disappeared from sight. After what sounded like a stand-up comedian clearing his throat, a male voice with an Eastern European accent clearly rose out of her food. It said, "Trump asked for dirt on Biden so I sent him some good Ukrainian topsoil."

As the gobsmacked gal with mouth agape slowly raised her eyes to her grinning dinner guest's face, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "squid pro quote".

Required Explanation: "squid pro quote" is a play on words for the saying "quid pro quo", a Latin phrase meaning "something for something". In the news at the time of this posting a tremendous amount of discussion is being circulated about whether or not US president Trump dangled a quid pro quo offer in front of Ukraine's newly elected president, Volodymyr Zelensky. The deal had nothing to do with seafood however, so that was just a red herring. It should also be noted that Mr. Zelensky, before diving into politics, was a stand-up comedian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/podgress
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Thank you so much for teaching me the meaning of the word "plethora"

It really means a lot!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icebucketwood
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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To the guy who explained me the meaning of the word "many"

Thank you very much. That really means a lot!

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
A woman was sitting at her dead husband's funeral.

A man leans toward her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?" "No, go ahead," replies the woman. The man stands, clears his throat, and says, "Plethora," then sits back down. "Thanks," says the woman, "that means a lot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A man goes to a funeral and asks the widow

Mind if I say a word?" She says: "Please do." The man clears his throat and says: "Plethora." The widow replies: "Thanks, that means a lot."

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kathu_01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report

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