I took my new girlfriend to North Wales

Bangor?

Well, yes I did actually.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllThingsAreReady
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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What did Apple call the small country they bought off the coast of Wales?

iLand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FIROEDA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Well, whale, wale, wail, whail, Weil
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gurdel
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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Apparently a town in South Wales is having greater lockdown restrictions imposed on it....

.....and it wouldn't have happened if people there had done things more Caerphilly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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My girlfriend told me that she was worried she was turning into a costal area at the southwestern tip of the Gower Peninsula in south Wales. I said to her...

Don't be Rhossili Bae

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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How do you circumcise a wale?

Send four skin divers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdamTheBadger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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There are so many beautiful castles in Wales, but I only had time to visit one.

I chose Caerphilly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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I stopped by a monastery while I was out in Wales for vacation and saw a monk selling chips out front. So I asked him "are you the Friar?"

He slowly looked up at me, smiled warmly and responded "No sir, I am the chip monk."

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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When seeing Wales for the first time, how should you plan your holiday?

Caerphilly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ottodidakt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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Two big girls walk into a bar

Two big girls walk into a bar

They order drinks, in a thick accent.

"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.

Offended, one of them replies *"Wales!"*

"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KillerTomatoes6
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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What’s a penguin’s least favorite vacation destination?

Wales.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/branchness
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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Two larger women walked into a bar and requested drinks in a hard UK accent.

The bartender asked are you ladies from Ireland? The girls smiled and said Wales. The bartender replied are you two whales from Ireland?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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Did you put hear about the corduroy pillow?

It's making headlines!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/askirk87
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Once I was in a yogurt shop minding my own business, when I heard a couple of women talking in an interesting accent at one of the nearby tables.

I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.

β€œExcuse me,” I said, β€œI couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?”

They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, β€œIt’s Wales!”

β€œNo offense intended,” I replied. β€œPlease allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schoonerw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive West.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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What's new?

York, Jersey, Mexico, Brunswick, Hampshire, Guinea, South Wales...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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This may be TMI, but the English Wikipedia alone has 5.77 million articles
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DecentPlastic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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Why are there no penguins in Britain?

Because they’re scared of Wales

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheryl_from_admin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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Why don't you ever see penguins in England?

They're afraid of Wales

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CasperWithAJ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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Did you know that Shamu was British?

He grew up in Wales.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XStasisX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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Why did the marine biologist travel to the UK?

He wanted to see Wales.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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So I’m sitting at a bar...

And two obese women walk in, talking in an interesting accent.

I was intrigued so I turned around and asked them, β€œAre you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of the women sneered at me, β€œWales, you dolt!”

So I corrected myself, β€œOh, are you two whales from Ireland?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PedsRNforreal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
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What is the biggest mammal that lives in a palace?

The prince of Wales

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mbwanderski
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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The production staff of Car Talk at NPR
  • Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs

  • Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov

  • Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide

  • Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore

  • Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe

  • Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood

  • Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass

  • Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout

  • Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder

  • Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing

  • Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors

  • Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz

  • Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff

  • Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer

  • Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket

  • Marine Biologist___________________________Frieda Wales

  • Father-in-Law Liaison_______________________Royal Payne Diaz

  • Mother-in-Law Liaison______________________Stella Payne Diaz

  • Official Spokesperson_______________________Howie Vasive

  • Restroom Attendants_______________________Trudy Door & Donna Hall

  • Russian Chauffeur__________________________Picov Andropov

  • Scout Leader______________________________Lawson D. Woods

  • Shop Foreman_____________________________Luke Bizzy

  • Staff Intuitionist____________________________Ivan Inkling

  • Used Car Salesman_________________________Alexis Itznot

Full list can be found here: http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IcedPyro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad got my mum and me.

We were watching the Olympic shooting, when my mum says that a guy at the school she teaches at shoots internationally for Wales. Dad: "Well that's not too impressive, they're pretty big targets."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedoctorhuw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2016
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Told my coworker, a father of 3, about this subreddit.

The conversation started on lunch with discussion of Helena Bonham Carter and how she has royalty in her veins.

Me: As long as she isn't royalty from Wales, it's cool.

Coworker: What's wrong with the Welsh?!

I stare blankly for a moment before opening my mouth to speak.

Coworker: They make really great juice!!

Cue collective groaning from around the conference/lunch room table.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlkaidX
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2015
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This one made me sputter

My dad got me with a good one earlier today. In Britain there is a lot of rain so I said ME: a rugby match in Wales is cancelled today, they've got a waterlogged pitch Dad: I thought whales would've preferred underwater pitches

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealEnglishman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2014
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Dad got a penguin joke book today...

Why don't penguins like to visit Great Britain?

They are afraid of Wales.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sjgw137
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2015
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Why aren't there any penguins in England?

Because they're scared of Wales

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hairychris88
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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