A man went to the doctor’s and told him, β€œI feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”

He said, β€œWow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Why did the valet hate working in an alternate universe?

Because it was all parallel parking!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GravyxNips
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What do you call your friendly neighborhood valet?

Peter Parker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nottherealdusk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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I just gave my bbq a full valet! It’s soo clean...

You could eat your dinner off it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheeksgt
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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I just hired a full time valet, and I found that people really treat you differently.

He has opened a lot of doors for me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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Exasperated, I showed him the picture and pleaded, "Doctor, all of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!"

He acknowledged grimly, "Indeed, that's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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I'm going to get a job as a valet attendant, come dressed up as Spider-Man, and introduce myself as "Peter the Parker"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TISparta217
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2018
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You can call me a butler

Because I dress the salad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/silentdumbarse
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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Valet at Disney hotel got me twice.

I called down from my room to have my car brought around. Valet Scott answered the phone and asked for my ticket number. I said "one second" and he goes "One thousand one. TIMES UP!".

I chuckled, and continued digging through my wallet. After a moment I said "Just bear with me"

He immediately goes "ROAAAAAR!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robinson217
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2015
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Did you hear that Michael J. Fox's kids started a valet service?

He has parkin' sons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HillDrag0n
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
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What do you call a miserly person's valet?

A Scrooge driver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ognits
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
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Working valet on this nice sunny day and I walked right into this...

I returned to my booth from parking a car and asked the captain if I missed anything. Today has been fairly slow so he tells me that I missed the sun moving about 2 degrees across the sky. Then he says, "It was the highlight of his day."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scaledwurm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2015
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Punny names of Dark Souls 3 bosses.

For reference: Link to wiki

Some of these are done in a kind of "news headline"-style:

  • Choir leader fired after using too much sexual innuendo; "Lewd Ex Cantor."

  • Video on demand about a street where nothing happens; "Vod of the Boring Alley."

  • Man's brutal cousin turns out to be a great bloke; "Raw-Ted, Great Dude".

  • Panic spreads as toilet facilities take over the world; "Cry! Stall-Age."

  • A man orders a book of basic letters to look after his daughters belongings while he looks after the others; "ABC, Watch Her's!".

  • Sams brother cheats a dude; "Dean Cons the Peep."

  • A ride in the amusement park offers a wide range of emotions; "High! Low! Woo! Nah."

  • A weird and hard to describe new dessert; "Cold Lemon Thing."

  • A new star in stand up rises! Come see "Puntiff Sulyvahn."

  • Pirates start eating fava beans and a new drink is required; "Yo! Ho! The Chianti!."

  • A Long lived man has an unusual apetite for fish; "Old-Rick, Devourer of Cods".

  • In Bacteria-Town, a devastating disease strikes one inhabitant working at a hotel; "Cancer of the Borrelia Valet".

  • Roman god Cubid is ordered to take a woman to cave and kill her; "Drag and Slay Her Amor"

  • Osiris's statue has been in way too many marriages and people have started to call it; "Osiris the Consummated Thing."

  • The choir leader from before is transformed into a mushroom; "Champignon Cantor"

  • An english man becomes the leader of a Polish airplane company and gets nicknamed; "LOT-Rick"

  • An impatient tree person attacks a random mythical hunter; "Antsy Ent! Why Hern?!"

  • Horse named Elvis keeps making noise and a man shouts;"Neigh Less King!"

  • A child opens a chocolate egg and a white spirit jumps out; "Soul of Kinder"

Sorry about the possible typos.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dralnu22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2016
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Heading in for an appointment...

If you've ever been to a hospital that has valet service, you know that they can sometimes drive like jerks.

So my dad and I were driving up the parking ramp to our parking space for an appointment (valet service is optional at this hospital), and one of the valet drivers was riding our ass the whole way. I said, "Damn, this guy in the Lincoln needs to slow down." My dad responded, "The valets here all drive like jerks." As we reached the parking spot the guy pretty much blew past. So then I chimed in with "You'd think people at a hospital would be more patient." And my dad just replied with a groan and a "gee whiz."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaffleBrothel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2014
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β€œDoc, all five of my sons want to be valets when they grow up!”

Doctor: Holy shit, this is the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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Doc, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!

Doc: Wow! That’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I have ever seen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/juhaodbrokule
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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What do you call Spider-Man working as a valet?

Peter Parker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamjustlurkingrn
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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"Doc, all my 5 kids want to be valets when they grow up!"

Doctor: "Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease I've ever seen.''

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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β€œI feel like such a failure, doc. All my 5 boys want to be valets when they grow up.”

Doctor: WOW! That’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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What would you call Spider-Man if he was a valet?

Peter Parker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/USAneedsAJohnson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2017
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Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!

Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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If Spiderman was a valet attendant how would he introduce himself?

Hi, I'm Peter the Parker.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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