A few years ago my dad and I were bored walking through a museum and came to a random painting of a woven basket filled with husks of corn. He asked me what i thought of it.
As his dad-joke apprentice i told him: "I dunno, seems kind of "Corn-y" to me"
Without missing a beat he stared at me and said "you may think it's corny, but i think it's a-Maize-ing"
I still crack up thinking about it years later
They actually make me money, some would say I’m an entre-pun-eur.
Than Soviet
... to make up puns. They're all horrible.
I have a few examples of what I'm looking for. I like them, but I'm sure the power of Reddit can come up with some that are even better!
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William (Bill) Ding
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James (Jim) Nastics
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Bart Ender
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Ted Manwalkin
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Gustavo (Gus) Undheit
As you can see, they don't even have to be straight up puns when said normally, but their common nicknames lend themselves into it. Anyone have any more good ones? Bad ones are appreciated too, lets all have a laugh!
As a big proponent of the dadjoke I want to argue that a dadjoke is not just a pun. I see lots of material submitted here that might be better suited for /r/punny.
Speaking as a dad, for me a classic dad joke is highly dependent on the context.
I can't whip out old standbys at any moment and call them proper dadjokes. If I'm driving my kid to school I can't just ask him "Hey, do you know why the kids couldn't see the pirate movie? It was rated aaarrrgh!". That's just a bad joke.
OTOH, if my kid says "are" kinda funny (which he has before), and I make a joke about him being the youngest pirate I know (I may or may not have done this before), then that's a dadjoke. A shitty one, but still a dadjoke. The best context ones are where a situation presents itself and the dad takes the opportunity to make the lame joke (as in a post from awhile back where the OP overheard three or four dads make almost the exact same joke at an aquarium).
Straight up puns should go to /r/punny. Context specific jokes which rely on vagaries of the language or the funny situation, should stay here.
Just my two cents worth.
So, this set were mine, ended up in webcomic form. Also, new dad, so I qualify.
Follow the link in my name below the webcomic if you want to read a very short story I wrote which received the reviews:
>This is the most intricately set up pun I have ever heard.
and
>This is absolutely hilarious. I have to fav this. Seriously, you handled the build-up and reveal perfectly.
So I was talking with a friend and said a really bad pun. After a sigh and a head shake he said "Man puns are terrible" , to which I followed up, puns are not terrible unless you write them down on paper (because the become "tearable")...
Took him a second to get it, but I was proud.
It was an unexpected Journey.
stair lifts
I think she is in love with me.
Inflation
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
..this isn't for me.
Its natural beauty was unpresidented
Me: I don't wanna alarm anyone, but I think someone in this room might be an owl.
Sisters kids: Who? WHO?
Me: gasp OH NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!
cue 2 hours of 4 small kids running around the house like nutcases screaming who at each other
Sister: You don't get to tell my kids dad jokes anymore. You're not even a dad Me: I'm a faux pas
Now I can't read anything.
I searched for lighters but ti only came up whith 14,852 matches
That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.
"For excessive drinking" the officer replies So the prisoner replies "Great, when do we start?"
I never got the chants.
but he kept asking her for another shot.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
Solid, liquid and gas
[removed]
I have a hunch it might be me.
Constantine
Then it dawned on me
There’s caws for alarm.
I told him kindergarten
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Twice dragons.
Update: honestly thank you everyone, you guys are totally making this kids day! Distance learning in kindergarten has been rough and he misses seeing his friends pretty hard, so when I told him about this (I was able to use “Wreck-It Ralph : Ralph breaks the Internet” and buzz tube with likes/hearts as a reference) he’s been smiling from ear to ear nonstop since! A million thankyou‘s for the kind words and awards.
" I know he means well.
All I can think of/find is shrek jokes and "The owner/Fiona" puns. It would be great if you guys can help.
"For drinking." replies the cop.
"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to see again.
And then it dawned on me.
