University Campus Puns

I asked one of the workers what display was supposed to be at the empty table next to theirs; I knew the worker was a dad because he replied:

"It was supposed to be a BDSM Safety table, but none of them could make it...I guess they were all tied up."

It was towards the end of the semester and my parents had come to my university to see my choir concert as well as pick up some of the things from my dorm I didn't need any more. I went back to my dorm to get my bicycle and the replacement tire I was supposed to put on the bike but never got around to it. To make things easier, I put the tire around my neck and across my chest so I could wheel the bike to the campus center to meet up with my family and my boyfriend. As I'm walking up to them, my dad looks me up and down and says "Are you sure that's the proper atTIRE?"

We both work at a university caught in the midst of this cold front. I'm in admissions and he's the supervisor in the on campus power/heat plant.

"Dad, can you turn up the heat a little bit? The rest of campus is freezing."

"The dilithium crytals are overheating. She can't take anymore, captain."