Why did they build the university on a mountain?
It was a place of higher learning.
I was going to join the debating team at University...
But I was talked out of it.
What would Hitler be called if he graduated from an Ivy League university?
Why did the marsupial go to university?
I went to University to study to be a doctor.
Unfortunately, I had to drop out. I just didn't have the patients.
When I went to university in the early 80's I decided to do my thesis on procrastination.
I guess I should really get around to starting it.
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
What did the bull say to his son leaving for university?
If M&M's go to university....
My son was rejected from Indiana University. Feeling persistent, he asked me if he should call one of the advisors and plead for admission.
I told him beggars can’t be Hoosiers.
I almost made a huge mistake applying to Rice University.
I'm really a meat and potatoes kind of guy.
Why do circles spend so long at university?
It's not easy getting 360 degrees!
Columbia University Marching Band shuts itself down.
I got a 3.9 GPA at Trump University
in other words, I graduated MAGA cum laude
Harvard University just ran a study proving 74% of the countries have flawed dams and it was dismissed
because it didnt hold water
After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to me…
Dear Dad,
University i$ really great.
I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, your $usie.
I immediately replied back…
Dear Susie,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
I finished my first year of university, but I gained 34 lbs...
First it was the Freshman-15, then the Covid-19.
Why do my university lecture theatres have all this blank artwork on the walls?
To make extra money, my university professor makes all his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
I went to a university where I studied theology.
God knows why I would make a choice like that...
Went to university in France, but slipped during winter.
Found this on a wall while Joaquin through an abandoned art building at my University.
At University I was so broke I couldn't afford the electricity bill..
Those were the darkest days of my life.
Did you know that Townsend University used to be called "999 University"?
They decided to round up to a Towsend.
How did I get into computer software? I was very confused about what to do in university, so I asked my dad... He was wearing a Nike tshirt, and he answered me by pointing at his chest, where this was written: Just do IT.
What's the difference between The University of California-Berkeley and The University of California- Los Angeles?
At one UCLA and the other one UC-Berkeley.
Why couldn't Aquaman get into the best university in Atlantis?
He was a C student at best.
I took a Pyrotechnics course in University.
I got a third degree. It was a real blast too.
I graduated from ballet university
What do you call it when a cannibal gives a presentation at a university?
My dad asked me what I would study at university. I said I enjoyed learning about the reproductive system.
"Have you ever thought about sex ed?" he asked.
"Who hasn't?" I replied. "And my name isn't Ed."
Which King of England took a gap year before university?
The slogan of my university's aero-modelling club is: "The wright way to get high".
Amazing dad joke at university orientation
I'm running a booth at an orientation fair at a major university in the south. New out of state student and his dad come up and introduce themselves.
Me: "So, how did you end up in the south?"
Dad: "We drove."
Me: "No, I mean what brought you down here?"
Straight-faced dad: "The car."
And then there's the story of the Jewish man at a South Korean university
My University caught fire during finals week
That's how I got my first degree... burns
My surf buddy got accepted to Columbia University to study Journalism
He’s very passionate about current events.
My university was so poor,
in math we could not afford real numbers, so we had to use imaginary numbers.
Fred is a hippo who went to University where everyone is a hippo
One day, someone asked him where the medical building was, Fred replied, "it's over there and to the left. I do research on the brain in there."
Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.
What did the dog achieve at university?
My son asked me if he should go to university and get a degree
I told him he should go to a corner so he can get 90 degrees instead!
At the university, I learned various methods for extracting honey.
I have a Bee Tech degree.
After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to me…
Dear dad,
University i$ really great.
I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, your $usie.
I immediately replied back…
Dear Susie,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.
Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
dad
After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to me…
Dear dad,
University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, your $usie
I immediately replied back…
Dear Susie,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, dad
My university professor forces the students to buy his book at the beginning of the semester.
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